Five spiked rings!
Four angry words
Three gay friends
Two rubber gloves
But no glimpse of that little golden key.
|Look, she said it, not me - OK readers? I respect and cherish each and every one of you. But she doesn't.|
|You'll look back with longing at this, come summer, when she's whipping you up a hot gravel track under the merciless sun.|
|1.2 seconds of pure bliss. But, you know, it's not just Christmas that comes but once - oh, hang on.|
|I used to suffer from low self-esteem. But then I just decided to enjoy it instead.|
|He should pay attention to this blog over the next few days.|
|Do you think she's feeling generous? I'm not sure.|
|Well, if she thought he was you at least you can be sure that nothing sexual went on between them.|
|Don't worry about the tears dripping down, though. She quite likes that.|
|It's amazing how brave you can be when you're strapped down really tightly.|
|Simultaneous orgasms are over-rated anyway. I usually don't come until several months after my SO.|