Pre-nuptial agreement

Ah, there you are, darling.  Now have you written that note?

No?  Well why not?

Oh don’t be ridiculous, darling.  It’s just a precaution.  I mean, we both love each other now, of course we do, and I fully expect that we’ll both love one another for ever.  But just in case – just on the off-chance – that something happens and our marriage isn’t working any more… well, then it’s useful to have arranged something like this beforehand, that’s all.  Isn't it?

What do you mean, you don’t know what to say?  It’s pretty simple.  You don’t have to worry about getting the wording exactly right or anything.  I mean if you really were committing suicide, you’d be a bit distraught, wouldn’t you?  You’d probably just put down any old thing.

Just say – you know, that you can’t take it any more, you hate your life and you’ve decided to put an end to your worthless existence.  That sort of thing.  Oh - and probably best to say you're sorry for any pain you've caused me, but that you think this is the best thing for both of us.

Hmm?  No – best not to specify any method.  We don’t know whether you’d be co-operative if I ever needed to use it, so I think I'd better have to improvise whatever I can at the time.  If I ever need it.

Are you writing it now?  Great.  Well, when it’s done, give it to me and I’ll put it somewhere safe.

 

And then I can tell you all about the plans for the wedding!