So a domme, her gimp and her money pig walk into a bar...

Yeah, I wanna report a  missing sub.

You know – submissive?  Like a slave?

Well of course consensual.  Actually he begged.

OK, so he went missing this morning.  We kind of left him in the forest and then we couldn’t find him, so – 

Yeah, sure we looked. Five minutes at least.  Maybe longer.

You need a description?  Right.

OK, so he’s about fifty years old, naked, shackled at hands and ankles, with his cock locked in a spiked tube.  Er… recently lost a lot of weight, so his skin kinda hangs off him in wrinkles, his back and ass are covered in whip marks, he has cigarette burns all over his thighs and his mouth is forced wide open with a serrated spreader gag, with a tongue clamp attached.  But he can make a few sounds, and he answers to the name of  - 

What?  Did you say ‘Lucky’?  Why would he answer to the name ‘Lucky’?

Well, why would you think I was going to say that? That's not his name.  I was gonna tell you his name.

An old joke?  Is it? Oh, OK.  I guess.  I don’t really get jokes, actually.  Never had much of a sense of humour.  Just ask anyone... especially my subs.  

Yeah, no problem.  Answers to the name of ‘Useless Fucktard’ anyway.

Sure.  OK, I’ll give you my number and let me know if you find him, OK?  No, I don’t want regular updates. If you find him, great, but if you don’t it’s no big deal.

OK, thanks.  Bye!

The photo that makes this otherwise pointless story, errr, pointful, is of course from American Mean Girls (they seem to have expanded out from Miami).  As I've said before, the 'bratty' teenage humiliatrix thing usually doesn't do it for me, but maybe that's because it's normally done very badly.  I think this site is really very good indeed and it definitely does do it for me, so I recommend a visit.