It's always such a disappointment, so many awards being handed out to people other than Anne. I'm not even going to watch it this year, partly as a result of that manifest unfairness, also because my TV privileges have been withdrawn for six months, for being uppity.
Obviously, I'm not saying She should get all the awards. I suppose that they have to go through the motions of giving a few of the prizes to other people, but they don't have to make such a fuss about it. They could have a separate ceremony at, I duuno, 10 in the morning or something and hand out a few things for best special effects in a foreign-language wildlife documentary and suchlike, then get all that out of the way so they can devote the evening to honouring Her.
Oh and 'best' actor? Really??? I mean, come on. Why not just go out into the street and start handing out awards for best left-over kebab, or most elegant piss stain against the wall? Political correctness gone mad, if you ask me.
Anyway, here are some movie-themed captions. Mostly sci-fi. I love sci-fi. I also love Anne Hathaway. It's about time I told you that; I've been concealing it for too long.
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| There's a shocking plot twist in Arrival. I won't spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen the movie, but let's just say that Amy spends a long time in that suit at one point, and someone starts getting all snarky when she orders him to clean it out. |
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| Sneak preview - I'm actually an extra in the sequel, WAOM 2! Well, a part of me is, anyway. Actually, it's a stain on the sole of one of Tricia's boots, but I do get a credit. |
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| Life support won't shut down for a day or two. So you'll have the time to make the place tidy. |
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| I imagine everyone's seen this movie, so I don't suppose it's news to anyone that the males surrender and are tortured viciously; the survivors being branded and enslaved. It's a vison of a crushing, brutal tyrannical regime, spreading slavery and misery across the galaxy. But then Star Trek has always been idealistic like that. |
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| If he was a bit brighter, he might have wondered why the deck his pod is on is called "Cargo Deck 3". But he's a man and men can be distressingly unobservant. |
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| Actually, some of them have small speaking roles. Mostly crying and begging for mercy. |
Anne for all. I'm boycotting till she wins everything.
ReplyDeleteQuite right too. You know, I heard a rumour they read out the wrong winner at the Oscar's this year. No really. Every envelope was supposed to name Anne Hathaway, but some male accountancy type screwed it up and they read out all sorts of other things instead.
DeleteMaybe next year she'll get it for stomping that Korean city. I'm actually in that as an extra: "Creepy guy screaming in terror No 43".
Thank you for commenting. I'm glad I allow anonymous commenting. Who'd want to admit to reading this blog? (well, Declan, obviously, but he's just weird).
That "Arrival" one is brilliant. Wish that I'd written that one.
ReplyDeleteAnd wish that someday I'll run into Weapons Office Uhura.
A well, just gets you back for some of your Fetish Rewrites, where I have had exactly the same wish, Declan.
DeleteRunning into Weapons Officer Uhura would be a bad idea. Running away probably doesn't work any better, though, as it's hard to out-run a photon torpedo.