Street vendor

Just a quickie...

You want what, sweetheart?  ‘Humiliation’?

Yeah… look, I don’t really do the freak stuff, you know?  I mean… I’m still young and attractive… got lovely big tits, arse, yeah?  I generally go with men who actually get turned on by an attractive female body: I take my clothes off, they get hard, we fuck and that’s it.

Trouble with a humiliation scene, is I never know when I take my bra off whether you’re going to want to kiss my tits or put it on yourself, you know?  And if I take my knickers off you’d probably rather handwash them than fuck me, wouldn’t you?

There was a girl round here used to cater to perves like you, you know.  She didn't like them either, but she had these... like, cold sores? So normal blokes didn't much want to fuck her. She used to make her customers kiss her sores - said they couldn't get enough of it. Horrible.

I mean, you must get diseases, right?  I expect you like kissing and licking shoes, yeah?  You'd like to get down on your knees and lick away at the lovely red leather on these, wouldn't you?  Even though I'm out here on the street wearing them all evening. There's probably not an inch of this pavement that hasn't been pissed on by some beered-up bloke going home from the pub: you know that, right?  It's not like I step in puddles of the stuff but would you really lick the soles of these?  Even if they, like, stank of piss?  Fucking hell, you would, wouldn't you?

Look, darling, you know, two blocks down is where the really old tarts hang out.  You go down there and they’ll humiliate you all right – you can empty your wallet for some sixty year-old alcoholic with severe halitosis, you know? Cos I'm not going to get any real customers who want an actual woman to fuck, while you're standing here touching yourself like that.  

Yeah - don't think I didn't notice.

Oh god – you’ve got a stiffie, haven’t you? Is that just from talking to me like this, you pathetic loser?  Jesus fucking Christ that's sad.  How do blokes like you get so fucked up anyway?  Did you, like, get caught masturbating in your mum’s knickers or something? And then get hard when she spanked you over her lap? Or maybe it's some sort of repressed homosexual thing.

Do you know what street girls like me call sad old gits like you? We –

Oh? Oh fuck! Are you coming in your trousers?  Oh, you filthy fucking... is that just from talking to me?  That has got to be the saddest thing I’ve ever seen… I think I’m going to have to offer a free fuck to the next real man who goes past, just to get that out of my mind.

Yeah…

All done?  Great.

Do you want a tissue?  No?  Sure - cos there's a bit of a stain?  So if you're going back to work, I'd... No?  Done for the week?  Oh - lucky you!  Weekend starts here, eh?

All right, sweetheart. 

Take care now, OK?  See you next week.