For who would bear the whips and scorns?

I once checked on a date-rating site after an evening with a very lovely lady and discovered she'd rated me lower than her vibrator.  Which I wouldn't mind so much, if that was the rating for sex but that was under 'personality'.

She's an expert negotiator.

Warning: the value of investment bankers can go down as well as up.

There's also 'maidspreading'.  That's when you stand with your legs held firmly apart with a spreader bar. It's usually a precursor to something rather painful.

You'd think they'd have guessed from the spreader gag.