True love's first slap

She's vegan because she can't abide cruelty, except under carefully-controlled conditions.  Her blonde friend there isn't so fastidious, so I've heard.

It can be quite tedious for our superiors, having to wait to let the dread build up. Thank goodness she has someone to keep her company,

 

 

There's such a gap between language and reality, the way men talk about sex.  Like - a guy might say that he's got something hard between his legs but I'll bet it's nothing like as hard as what I've got between mine.

 

For a long time, I can honestly claim I had 'never had any complaints' from women, sexually speaking, but then there was the shocking experience of my first date. Still, so far only one woman has ever actually told me on the basis of experience that I'm bad at sex, all the others have just played it safe.

 

I can't imagine how he was expecting to get through passport control, naked with his wrists shackled behind him to a wooden bar locked around his bollocks.  I mean, he doesn't even have proof of his posiitve PCR test.