Yes, it's Valentine's Day, a day when humiliation freaks worldwide will rush down to the letterbox in the morning, to revel deliciously in the proof that once again, not a single one of the three billion females in the world has the slightest romantic interest in any of us.
Actually, I did once receive a Valentine card, from this girl I really fancied at school and didn't have the courage to tell of my feelings for her, but it turned out it she had sent it to the wrong address and it was intended for someone else. Goodness, how everyone laughed and laughed when that little mix-up was revealed in class, after I got down on my knees to confess my long-standing love for her. I hope she wasn't too humiliated by her error being exposed so publicly, poor thing.
I do have a couple of Valentine-themed captions, as it happens, but not a full set of five, so I thought I'd... what's that, readers? You say you don't give a flying fuck whether I creatively theme the blog or not? That you just want to masturbate to images of pretty ladies saying humiliating or vaguely menacing things, so why don't I shut the fuck up and get on with it?
Oh. OK then.
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| You could cavil at the poor quality of the photo, but this is Mistress Ardenne so even a blurry photo is more beautiful than 99.999999999999% of things on the planet. Long retired, I'm sure, so don't even ask, OK? |
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| Wow. No time for second thoughts - let's tie the knot! |
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| My SO says the same: apparently it's 'easier' to leave me locked up. Personally, I've never had any real difficulties masturbating (except when my penis is locked in a tube, or I'm in tight bondage or agonising pain, that is) so I don't really see why that should be but I don't doubt she's right. For one thing 'doubting she's right' is #255 on the list of forbidden activities, just 243 places below masturbation itself. |
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| Selecting honesty level two would have got you "Oh... it's all right, I suppose. A bit below average but I've seen worse." |
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| Funny how it still feels just like that very first date you went on together. Some relationships are like that, but it's very rare. |
Mrs Edge "accidentally" left the key home on a long holiday trip, and while I believe that she didn't intend it, she has not unlocked me since. I think that was the summer of 2018.
ReplyDeleteOh well, I expect it'll turn up some time, Tom. Possibly when you least expect it, as these things so often do. And then you'll both look back on these years and laugh.
DeleteAnyway, I hope neither of you let it spoil your holiday.
Best wishes
S