The importance of terror in a healthy relationship

Often undervalued, don't you think?  It's the chill of fear striking deep into my stomach, as I watch the minute hand creep closer to the appointed hour, the hesitancy with which I approach the door and the tremble in my hand as I reach out for the doorbell that - for me - makes it more than just another way of getting bruises.


Ahem.


Next!








Don't be fooled by that severe exterior.  She's actually a very kind person.  Why did you know, she gives 20% of all your money to animal charities?



Of course, she'll need training.  The Headmistress reckons that Mr Jones, the maths teacher, might be available to assist.

Apparently, the new one has voice recognition.  You have to train it to recognise your voice, though.  So you say "Clean the floor." If it doesn't do it - press the red button to zap its balls.  Then repeat the command.  It's quite uncanny how accurate and responsive it can become.



That Raoul has always had a wicked sense of humour. Remember that time he told her you'd called her a bitch? 



What a lucky man you are that someone so attractive takes the trouble to despise you.