Asexual gratification

Phwoah!

 

 

Why not both?

 

 

Busy busy.  Still, at least when he's screaming under the relentless high-paced whipping, he can console himself with the thought that it's not as bad as he'll be getting later from Madame Sarka.  We so rarely just pause to count our blessings - don't you agree?

 

 

Ah, young love.  I remember my first really vigorous reaming as if it were yesterday.

 

She might say that she's not really into the weird femdomination stuff, but actually she could probably be persuaded to try a little chastity play too - or even rather a lot of it.

 

 

True love's first slap

She's vegan because she can't abide cruelty, except under carefully-controlled conditions.  Her blonde friend there isn't so fastidious, so I've heard.

It can be quite tedious for our superiors, having to wait to let the dread build up. Thank goodness she has someone to keep her company,

 

 

There's such a gap between language and reality, the way men talk about sex.  Like - a guy might say that he's got something hard between his legs but I'll bet it's nothing like as hard as what I've got between mine.

 

For a long time, I can honestly claim I had 'never had any complaints' from women, sexually speaking, but then there was the shocking experience of my first date. Still, so far only one woman has ever actually told me on the basis of experience that I'm bad at sex, all the others have just played it safe.

 

I can't imagine how he was expecting to get through passport control, naked with his wrists shackled behind him to a wooden bar locked around his bollocks.  I mean, he doesn't even have proof of his posiitve PCR test.

 

 

 

 

Missgoverned

Just so there's no misunderstanding.

 

 

 

Oh dear.  I hope she gets over the embarrassment quickly.

 

 

 

Don't worry about the whip - her aim's terrible when she's a bit sloshed, so you should be fine.

 

 

 

Her colleague Tanya's not quite so talkative - but don't worry, she'll look after you.

 

 

This just gets better and better - first bondage, now she's phoning a sexy friend and by the sound of it roast turkey when you've finished!  And people worry about going off for bondage scenes with complete strangers.

 

And I'll be (your sharp intake of breath)

 Mistress Lennox, of course... and that beardy bloke called Dave.

'Ideas' in the same sense that Pinterest sends me emails suggesting I check out 'ideas' about boots, corsets or traditional girls' school uniforms.  And chickens, oddly enough.

Those vanilla passengers can be rather tiresome.  Fortunately one encounters fewer of them, these days.

I have a limited skill set, unfortunately.  And I'm rubbish at it.

Don't worry - lots of bridegrooms feel a bit nervous on the big day.  None of the guests are likely to realise how well-founded your fears actually are.

It's an arguable case, legally, or at least it would be were anyone in a position to argue about it.  Which they won't be, obviously.

Tender moments

I am in their loyalty programme.  I get to pay more when I book flights, as I accumulate points they demand ever more expensive gifts and on board I am treated with extra contempt.

 

 

I expect you'll want to evaluate this proposition quite carefully.  I mean, that's a lot of money to lend someone you barely know, just on the strength of... on the strength of... sorry, what were we talking about?

 

 

 

I can multi-task!  I can flounce and simper, both at the same time. 

 

 

 

 

As story-writers say, don't tell: show.

 

Oh, I don't know.  There are advantages.  For one thing, it's not one of those wildly unrealistic fetishes that's completely divorced from real life.  For example, I am actually a lazy, worthless and sexually unattractive male, deserving the contempt the women I know barely bother to conceal.  So I can live the dream, so to speak.

 

120 minutes a slave

...followed by a slightly stilted conversation while putting my clothes back on, a quick hug, a kiss of her hand, then back out and switch on the mobile to find out what craziness has been going on at work while I've been in session.

You can get upgraded to business class.  The container's only slightly bigger (though you do feel the difference after a long flight, I find) but you get meaty chunks from a proper tin of food instead of those dry pellets.

Nurses have seen it all, of course, but many women find it quite offensive when a man visibly develops an erection in their presence.  My SO certainly does, and has been helping keep that side of my personality under tight control.

Sometimes you can tell even without looking at them.  And sometimes you just beat them anyway, on the off-chance.  It's all good.

On my very first date, I actually had a premature orgasm - which was very embarassing.  You see, I was wearing light-coloured trousers, so when she opened the door and said hello, I exploded in a very visible dark stain.  Fortunately, that was the last bad thing that happened on that date, although I did almost get caught on the nose by the door as it slammed shut again.

What do we want? Justice!

You know I work all day to get you money to buy you things

... and it's worth it.

They still holiday in the same place, and go down to the lake to the pier and occasionally she pushes him in for old times' sake.  It's not always at the same time of year but it still has the same magic.  Last February the ice was so thick it didn't break when he fell on it - so much for global warming, huh?

Some men find it annoying and restrictive having to wear a shock collar, but really - it's ten minutes sitting plugged in by the wall most days... maybe 15 minutes at most after a lot of use?  Then you're fully charged and can get on with your life in whatever way takes her fancy.  It just takes a little planning that's all.

Many men get excited at the thought of watching passionate lesbian sex, but believe me after a few years you kinda start to feel a bit jealous?  Silly, I know...

 

Apparently she's having the schoolroom fitted out already.  If she's not even pregnant yet, I have to say that seems a little premature.

As I've always said: there's no job a woman can do that a man can't do too.  Just more slowly, not as well and with someone of a superior gender in charge to make sure he doesn't fuck it up.  Which, admittedly, doesn't work too well when flying a plane.  But Billy can have his dreams - then he'll grow up, meet a nice girl who'll sweep him off his feet and he'll settle down as a happy househusband, I expect.

Out with the old...

... in with the younger, sexier and less fucking annoying - as my SO likes to say.

This year She's decided that my new year's resolutions will remain Her own secret. Pretty exciting!  She's going to make a little note every time I break one of my resolutions, then deal with it all at the end of the year.  That way I can't sneakily avoid puishment by complying, She says.  So that should be fun!  Apparently, I've broken two of them already.

Anyway, with a slightly nervous twitch in case posting captioned images is one of the things I've resolved to cut out, here are the first captioned images of 2017!  Just like all the previous ones, huh?

I think you should stand up for yourself. Who does Katie think she is, anyway? Go on - man up.

Male class can be quite uncomfortable, but it's a lot better than it was in the early days of commercial aviation. You're inside, for a start and that makes quite a difference.

You see?  Now male class in the passenger section is a lot better than going airfreight as livestock, and - What's that?  Oh. Well, it's even better than going as cargo on a container ship too, I expect. Bon voyage.

He's probably fine. Men's brains can go for long periods without oxygen without loss of any useful functions anyway.

Most wedding venues keep a spanking chair somewhere around - just ask the organisers.

Honourable ladies

...but of course they all are, are they not?

Ah well.  Back to real life.

I once asked a domme for a session where I'd be treated with total contempt and indifference.  I paid her the session fee in advance and then I never heard back from her - then when I tried to get in touch I found my emails and my phone number were blocked.  Best session ever.

Don't worry about the spanking marks.  She won't be embarassed.

I've heard in some restaurants, the staff spit in your food if you're rude. I was in a cafe the other day where the waitress was really beautiful, so I was tempted to insult her just on the offchance, you know, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.  Just too sub, I guess.

Many men come too early.  January, February - that kind of thing  But with the right amount of control (preferably made of steel) you should find you can hold back almost indefinitely.

Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way

You might want to pay particular attention to the inflight safeword briefing.

Damn.  Maybe we could play backgammon instead?

If it's any consolation, Jerry's no happier about it than you are,  In fact, he's bloody furious.  Try to make him happy, OK?

Hmm.  That's diamonds  eleven times in a row, now. That means hearts must come up next time, right?

I don't want you to get the impression that reading this blog in any way singles you out as a loser, OK? As long as no one ever, ever finds out, then there's nothing to be ashamed of.  Obviously, if they do, then there is but that just means you have to take care, right?