Bedside manner

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Dealing with feelings of sexual inadequacy

Here are some ladies who know exactly how to do that.

I find it quite hard to find condoms in my size, actually. I used to think it was because I was so unusually small, but actually a kindly pharmacist once explained to me that there are quite a lot of men this small - it's just that they never get to have any sex, so there's not much of a market for condom makers.  That made me feel a lot better.

 

 

Actually, that sort of failure rarely happens to me.  I usually find I can make women laugh, one way or another.

 I wouldn't recommend a visit to the Young Goddess site these days, unless you're really into self-loathing, as the guy who ran it got religion and decided that all of this is sinful.  Which of course, it is.  Still...I guess that means he's relinquished copyright on everything?

 

Sorry.  Too embarassing a memory to talk about.  Move on please, move on.

 

 

That Raoul.  I'm sure he's cheating on her.  Last time, I bought eight condoms and when I came round the next day to clean up, I only found six that he'd used.  Men can be such beasts...I don't know what she sees in him.

 

 

She had to have the last one put down.  He was just too yappy.  It wasn't an easy decision, though, and she made the mistake of looking back and catching his eye when she left him at the vet for the last time.  A tear or two was shed that night, I can tell you, as she thought of him alone in his cage at the vet's waiting for the lethal injection the next morning.  But she's sure it was for the best.

 

Quite a combination, there, Mistress T of Vancouver to the left, Goddess Lexi Sindel to the right, and Mistress Mina Thorne in the middle.  [With thanks to commenters for one identification]

Devotional blackmail

I think they're going to talk about it again.

 

 

Marriage is for life, you know.  That can be quite short, though.

 

 

No, I don't know either.  Sorry.

 

 

Nice of her to help them like that, wasn't it?

 The lady in the picture is the awesome Syonera von Stryx, and I'm sure in person she's nothing like a sadistic camp commandant's daughter.  Unless that's what you're looking for, of course, in which case no doubt she is.

 

Oh how tiresome.

Rewards and punishments

Sometimes it's difficult to tell them apart, don't you think?

And thanks to rote learning, they know a lot of very long poems in Norwegian, word-perfect, off by heart.  Sadly, they don't know what any of those words mean.

 The wonderful, severe (and wonderfully severe) Cassie Hunter, or "The Hunteress".

Do you sense she might be losing interest in the sexual side of this marriage?

 

Don't worry.  She'll have time to get away, when the acid starts gushing out.  Even in those high heels - she'll be fine.

 

 

Oh well.

 I don't know the original source (something about it says "German" to me...), but I got this from the She is in charge tumblr.

 

[Edited: Paltego in the comments has kindly pointed out that this is Lady Ramirez, to be found at www.ladyramirez.com.  So - at least we know who she is.  As for the other... well we know he's not Dave (or was it Dennis?) but otherwise the field's wide open.] 

Having your mouth full most of the time will probably help prevent you forming deep emotional attachments too.

A service of worship

More femdom captions...captioned images of female domination.  Dominatrix... or Herrin, Maitresse, Dominadora or Padrona.  That sort of photos: of cruel dominas, dommes, mistresses and their male slaves, submissives, subs.

 

(Yes, I know you know all of that already.  But search engines don't, poor lambs).

Or indeed speak.

 

 



You see, it's not actually a mail-order bride service. It's for mail-order husbands.

 

 

She's obviously know.  Most of the girls in the office know all about your, ermm... little problem.

 

 

 

He doesn't take up much room.

 

 

 

Just a little light spanking. Then the heavy paddle.  So much more fun, on the front.

Lifestyle management

These ladies can do that for you, if you like.  Or indeed, even if you don't.

It'll be all right.  You should be able to avoid the more painful penances as long as you haven't been having sinful thoughts.
You haven't... have you?

 

Particularly as you'll not be staying in the same hotel as them.

 

 

Hope he has a diaper fetish...because she's a bit incontinent these days.  Still - not many of us get a chance for real 24-7 slavery to a dominant woman, eh?  Lucky beggar.

You sit on the edge of the engine, with your trousers down around your ankles, and just wait for the fun to start.

 

Oops.



Worshipping graven images

Actually I don't know if these images have been 'graven'.  To be completely honest, I don't really know what 'graven' means.  But occasionally I like to hearken back to the title of the blog with a religious reference.

And isn't it amazing, if you go googling phrases relating to punishment and humiliation, looking for bdsm porn (as we do), how most of the vanilla sites you find are religious?  Hmmm... something to be explored there, I'd suggest.

But not in this blog.  On we go.

And you'll do.

 

Well? Have you?

This is the divine Goddess Heather.  Have I featured her image before, for you all to worship?  Well yes, I think I might have done once or twice.

She shouted at me once, across the floor of a club, you know.  Treasured memory...

 

 

Poor Simon.  It must be very difficult for him.  Almost as difficult as it's going to be for you.

 

 

Actually, there are other ways to make the swelling go down.  But amputation is easily the best.  Don't worry - they'll fit you with a prosthetic replacement.

 

 

A lot of men don't realise that when they're married, they're expected to discuss things a lot more.  Such as discussing why they're late home, discussing why the ironing wasn't done to her satisfaction, discussing whether he can stand up or must remain on his knees for a bit longer - that kind of thing. It's all about communication.

Boys will be toys

Yet more captioned images of female domination.  What else were you expecting?  Dancing kittens?

But don't ask her to buy you any long trousers.  You know she won't.

 

 

She's going to be applying some science.

 

 

It's all right.  She'll take it nice and slowly.

 This is the divine Mistress Vixen.

 

You've only yourself to blame.  You gave her the job - remember?  I can't imagine why.  She's rubbish at cleaning.

 

 

It's not as if Raoul would be taking your matrimonial rights.  She's not going to fuck you, whetever happens, she's made that quite clear.  So you're not losing anything.  Be reasonable, hmm?

The rest is silence

Yes, I did want to see you.

I just wanted to say goodbye – before the hood goes on.

Oh no, of course you’re not going anywhere!  You’re never going anywhere again, after today.

No, it’s just that as I make all of my slaves wear the same gimp suit, I don’t really distinguish between them.  They all look exactly the same, and as of course they can’t speak…well, I just don’t bother to tell one from the other.

So although you’ll see me again, this is the last time I’lll be addressing you as an individual, as a human being.

From now on, you’ll just be ‘gimp’ like all the others.

Do you have anything you want to say to me… the last words you’ll ever say to anyone?

Yes, go ahead.  Whatever you like.  I won't punish you later.  I won't even know which one you are, after all.

You love me?  Well, that’s very sweet.

And it’s exactly what all the others said, too.  I think you’re going to fit right in.

Now – don’t speak again.  Just go downstairs.  They’re waiting with your suit.

Goodbye.

Inspired by the truly inspiring Mistress Eleise de Lacy.

Blessed art thou amongst women

We're all blessed to be amongst women, don't you think?  Usually, I have to pay for the privilege, but even so..

You know, that reminds me of a funny story.  The first time I visited a domme in France, she asked if I wanted to be "blessé".  So of course I said "Oui, Maîtresse!" and I knelt down and waited for divine benediction.

But, would you believe it, in French "blessé" means wounded!  

 

Goodness, how I laughed at my mistake afterwards, when the bones in my jaw had been re-set.

Funny old world, isn't it?  And apparently in Estonian, the phrase "blow job" means "penectomy".  Strange but true.  Could be all sorts of scope for amusing misunderstandings there, I imagine.

On we go.

Well... it's not as if the chair's that comfortable anyway.  Me on the ring, her sitting on the chair...we'll see who cracks first.

 

 Anyone not realising that this is the divine Eleise de Lacy, or that Femme Fatale Films are absolutely superb... well, anyone like that probably isn't reading this blog, actually.

 

I don't normally credit Tumblrs, but this is from the "fuckyeahstewardesses" tumblr, which once you're past the slightly, mmmm, crude name is actually rather tasteful and lovely.  Unlike the red glove treatment, which isn't either of those things.

 

 

Nothing to see here, let's move on.

 

 

 

She's going to be her own, er... ex-step-mother!  How cool is that?

 Planet Femdom.  If statuesque German ladies are your thing (and even more so, if you'd like to be their thing), it's the place you want to go right after this.

 

 

Ah yes.  Hers isn't quite as frilly.  And, to be fair, it doesn't say "punishment dress" on it either.  Or have the little lacy cuffs at the back for wrists.  And she can take it off herself.  Still, nice to be a matching couple.

 

Three colours

Variations on a theme...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Administrative oversight

 
 

Mr Hadley?  Hi – I’m Suzie Parker, from the legal department.

I’m very well, thank you.

Now, first of all I’d like to apologise once more for this dreadful mix-up.  We do everything possible to avoid mistakes, but it’s a big hospital carrying out hundreds of operations every day, and this sort of thing will happen from time to time.  We’ve had a preliminary investigation, and it seems the medical staff weren’t at fault at all – it did say penectomy on your admission papers.  It must have been some kind of typo at the admission stage.  Nobody’s fault really, just one of those unfortunate things.

The good news is that of course we want to offer you compensation.  This will be without any admission of liability, and you’ll have to sign a form saying you requested this operation voluntarily.

If you won’t sign?  Well then of course we’d contest any compensation claim in court.  You’d have to prove it was our fault.  Of course, you’d be completely within your rights to do so if that’s what you want.   At the moment, there’s a bit of a backlog, so it might take a few years.  And we tend to appeal decisions all the way up the legal system – just to discourage frivolous claims, you see.  But still, if that's what you -

Will you?  Oh good.  I’m sure that’s the right decision.   So here’s the consent form…

…that’s right.  And then if you could write out that sentence by hand, before signing.

Mmmm… “Genitalia” with only one “t” actually.  Oh I know – I always get that wrong too!

Lovely.  And sign there.  And here.  And separately there.  Great.

Now, the compensation scheme we operate is a generous one, but there is a sliding scale.  It’s based upon the loss caused, you see.   It’s not too complicated, but you have to fill in all this information, then we’ll work out how much you’ve lost because of this silly mistake.

That’s right…age, you see, and whether you’re married. 

That?  Oh, well we need to know the number of sexual partners in a year, because that affects the assessment of the loss caused by the removal of your testicles.  So the number of women – sorry, or men is it?  Right – the number of women you’ve had sex with in the last three years.  I bit intrusive, I know, but you can see the point.  I mean, we wouldn’t want to be paying a lot of compensation to someone for the removal of his balls if he never used them, would we?

Really?  As many as that?  You do know we’ll be requiring signed affidavits from each sexual partner, and –

 - yes, of course you can change it.  Best to get these things right from the start.  OK, that looks a lot more reasonable.

Hmm?  Masturbation?  What do you mean, masturbation?  Oh - oh I see.  So, you’d be claiming that the loss of your testicles has caused you harm because it makes you less likely to…yes, I suppose I see.  I’m not sure what our policy is on that.  I don't think I can think of a similar claim before... I mean, in some ways it’s a benefit, isn’t it?  Not having that silly little habit any more?  I mean, most men grow out of that when they’re teenagers, don’t they?  Still, I’ll check for you, OK?  You might get something.

Now for the penectomy, the sliding scale is based upon size.  So, if you could just indicate… there.  Yes.  And the girth, too…  you can just guess that one if you don’t really know.  Many men don't. 

Wow.  That was a big one, wasn’t it?  What a shame you didn't have any girlfriends!

Erm... you do realise, of course, that the hospital retains the, um… material that was surgically removed, so they could make a scientific estimate of the likely extent of the –

Yes, you can change that too.  Easy to get confused.  Gosh, that’s a lot less, isn’t it?  Maybe you were confusing centimetres and inches?  Easily done.

Right, well of course our claims department will be processing this, and you’ll receive notification of the exact sum due to you in about two months time.  But from the look of it, my guess, is that you could be looking at…well, several hundred pounds at least!  Won’t that be nice! 

Oh - and I forgot to mention the best news of all!  Although of course we admit no liability, the hospital wants to offer you a 10% discount off the tonsilectomy you were actually supposed to have!  And the same surgeon insists on carrying it out!  No really.  She says it's the least she can do, after inconveniencing you so much in this way.