Anyway, in the same theme here is one of those little stories that's just too damn big to fit as a caption.
Hmmm? My riding lesson?
No, it was
rubbish, actually. They gave me that
grey horse again – the lazy one. And he
kept refusing the jump so I gave him a few sharp taps with the whip – you
know. And then he refused it again, so I
decided to show him who was boss. So I
was giving the lazy bastard some good hard cracks right across his rump when
the instructor came up and told me I was giving him too much whip! That I should be trying to coax the stupid
animal instead of thrashing him! Can you
imagine!
She said she’d cancel the lesson if I didn’t stop. So of course I did…but can you imagine? It drove me mad, trotting around on this lazy
old thing and I couldn't do anything but tap it gently. I’ll swear the brute was laughing at me! You know how frustrated and angry I get when
I don’t get my way. Grrr.
Anyway, when we finished and I took him back to the stall
and tied his reins up, she wasn’t around.
So I gave him 12 good hard ones!
He didn’t like that, I can tell you.
He was jumping about and trying to get his head around, but I was standing well to the side. And I laid them on good and hard - raised some lovely welts.
Anyway, I'm sure it did him a power of good. When I walked past a bit later on the way to the car, he caught sight of me and
cringed. Really. Have you ever seen a horse cringe? I don’t think he’s going to
forget me in a hurry! In fact, I might
ask to have him again next time. I think
we’ll be jumping those fences very nicely.
So… that was my day.
Still feeling angry.
How about you – did you fix that leaking pipe?
Oh darling! I can’t
believe it – I asked you specially! Now
how am I going to wash all this stable smell off? What have you been doing all this time? Just lying about watching TV and surfing the internet I suppose!
Honestly – you do make me cross sometimes. You really do.
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