Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Wow, it just kept getting bigger...and longer...

So...this started out as a caption.  But somehow it grew and grew.

Lines of responsibility

Unsatisfied with your performance, by the look of it

"I know you’ve been on management training courses before, Mr Halford, but I’m confident you’ll see a real difference to your performance after this one.  It’s a completely new management training technique.
Now I’ve written a sentence down here: “Every day, I must strive to do my very best at work, carrying out the instructions of my boss to the best of my ability, giving her no cause to complain of laziness, rudeness or disobedience on my part.”
Isn’t that a motivational sentence?  Imagine how you could succeed if you have that running through your head every minute of the day!
Now here’s what we do.  There’s a pile of paper on your desk, there.  Now I want you to take the pencil and write the number “one” then write out the sentence.
Shall I read it again for you?
“Every day, I must strive to do my very best at work, carrying out the instructions of my boss to the best of my ability, giving her no cause to complain of laziness, rudeness or disobedience on my part.”
Good.  Now write the number “two” and do it again.
OK.  Now do you see what we’re doing?  Yes, that’s right.  Now you’re going to keep going until you’ve reached number 200, OK?  And I want you to do it all in one go, so no getting up from the desk, no speaking at all.  If you make a mistake in writing out the line, I want you to draw a neat line through it and write it again.  If you have to make more than three crossings-out on any one page,  throw that page away and start it again.  Off you go.
No, I said no talking please, Mr Halford.  That’s quite important for the exercise to work.  When you’ve finished, or if your pencil breaks, I want you just to raise your hand and sit quietly.
Two hours later
Finished?  Excellent.  Well, you can get up and bring me your papers.
Now while I’m looking through it, we’re going to try an exercise in mental visualisation.  I want you to stand over there in the corner, facing the wall.  No, a little closer.  Your nose should be nearly touching.  That’s right.  Now put your hands on your head.  I want you to visualise the sentence in your mind, as you remain in that position until I tell you to stop.  See if you can see it floating in space on the blank wall in front of you.  If I leave the room, you should remain in that position.
An hour later
Right, Mr Halford.  I think we’re making excellent progress.  Come and stand over here.  You can keep your hands on your head.  Now I counted nine crossings-out in your written work, and I see you discarded one page, so I suppose that’s another four, making 13 errors in all.  And you also spoke when I’d instructed you to remain silent, so let’s call that another 10, making 23 in all.  I’m going to round that up to 24.
Now we come to the really innovative part of this training.  It’s a completely new approach to motivational training.  I am going to make you feel very sorry for each and every one of those 24 errors.  Can you guess how?
No, it’s not that.  Not even close.  Go to that drawer over there and bring me what’s inside it.  Yes, that.  Do you know what that is?  No, it’s nothing to do with cooking.  It’s a motivational instruction tool.  I’ll show you how it works…

Plenty of motivation here

Half an hour later still
Right, Mr Halford, I think we’re done here for the day.  You might want to tuck your shirt a bit more neatly back into your trousers before you go back to your office.  That’s better.
Did you find that motivational?  Yes, it is rather isn’t it? It’s simple, but amazingly effective.
But it only works if you keep it up.  Now the great thing about this technique is you don’t have to be an expert trainer to do it.   I’ve got a name here – Janine O’Brien? – oh, she’s your secretary?  Right.  Super.
No, no, she’s not going on a course like this Mr Halford!  This is only for senior managers.  No, Janine is booked on a motivational instructor training course this week.  So she’ll be able to deliver the weekly modules of your training programme.  Isn't that great?  It’s best to agree a single time – Thursday at 6pm or suchlike – and just stick to it.  She’ll be tracking your performance at work too.
Oh, don’t look so worried, I’m sure she’ll pick it up in no time.  She’ll be watching the video of today’s session, at the start of her course, so she’ll know exactly what to expect.  We usually find that secretaries love taking on these additional tasks, and really put everything they’ve got into it.  Anyway, she’ll send me weekly reports.

Janine.  Isn't she sweet?


Then you’ll come back here from time to time for a refresher course.  And there are quite a few other things we haven’t tried too."

5 comments:

  1. wouldn't it be wonderful to work at a company run by women? Wouldn't it be fun to be your secretary's secretary?

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  2. I LOVE this! I long for it to go on. Maybe just one scene with Janine? Please?

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  3. Thank you, Mr Preacher. I shall see whether there's a slot available in Janine's diary. And ask her very, very nicely, obviously.

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  4. i really tried to write out the lines 200 times, "Every day, I must strive to do my very best at work, carrying out the instructions of my boss to the best of my ability, giving her no cause to complain of laziness, rudeness or disobedience on my part." but i can't finish it in 2 hours, and just done less than 100..... i am sorry, is there any Miss make me write more ?

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    Replies
    1. Hmm. I asked the lady in the story above what you should do, and she suggested you should just try again. Practice makes perfect, after all. Off you go.

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