Friday, July 20, 2018

Soft power



Of course, an average can be brought down quite a lot by just one bad review.  Especially if that's from the only date you've ever been on.




Mmm.... looks like you just became a premium product!  Something to be proud of.



She wasn't a huge success as a nurse, to be honest, especially when she did a stint learning how to administer pain relief, which turned out just not to be her thing.




Obviously successfully navigated that tricky moment towards the end of the date, when she eases her shoes off, settles back and you have to decide whether it's appropriate to ask whether you can masturbate while kneeling in front of her and sniffing her feet.





I expect he's forgotten all about that time you ate his dogfood too.  I mean, that was Mistress's fault really, but he wasn't to know that.

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

The seven stages

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Indiferent denial, with a warning
  4. Bargaining
  5. Denial with retribution
  6. Desperate pleading
  7. Amused denial

You can get an app for it too.  Every day, it doesn't remind you.



He thought if he told them he was a vicar they'd go easy on him.  He was wrong. My friend who's an investment banker had a similar experience but much, much worse.







Fortunately, the balls don't feel like the same thing either.  No more worrying about that knee!  But there are other things to worry about...




I didn't understand why it had to be so wide, but then I met Richard.



It's a ridiculous fantasy, of course.  You can't just chop a man in half and then attach his dismembered body to separate halves of a sex doll.  Well... you can, obviously, but not so he continues to live. You'd think she'd have realised that after six tries, the silly thing.

Friday, July 13, 2018

Then someone falls in love... and someone's beaten up

Actually, those things happened the other way around, but still... best day of my life.


No, it's not medical malpractice.  His daughters, as the responsible carers, have to approve any unusual 'treatments' he receives.  And they have done.



That reminds me: you know those novelty jelly beans, where some taste awful?  Modelled on Harry Potter, obviously.  Well, I tried one that was supposed to be slug flavour the other day, and do you know, it was nothing like it?  How can they get away with stuff like that?


It wasn't me.  I never.


Actually, there probably are some other things that would work.  She just hasn't tried them all yet.



I thought the air hostesses were supposed to look after unaccompanied males until they've got through Immigration? 



Tuesday, July 10, 2018

And I didn't stand a chance

... now listen, honey.


Well, I don't like him either, so I suppose we're even.




She's right, you know. It's her boyfriends who are insecure in their masculinity, needing to demonstrate it by fucking her brains out all night.  And you're not afraid to cry, either.

 


I have some complicated sexual preferences, but my SO has sexual preferences too and they're not entirely compatible, so I never get to express them.



Thick garden gloves?  Oooh.. I count that as a score.



I understand he was trying desperately to get a role in Ocean's 8. but they wanted younger actors with firmer buttocks.
 

Friday, July 6, 2018

Those who serve

More dispatches from the front lines.  Never forget the debt we owe our heroines - and the subs who washed their uniforms too.

More of the same.






















Tuesday, July 3, 2018

Respect cannot be earned

It can only be taught.  Something like that, anyway.  Now, more of this.


I'd 'freely consent', wouldn't you?  Well... I mean, I would if I were free, obviously.



I'll just try to hold it in, I think.  You wouldn't believe how much fuss Travis makes when I ask him to do that. 



Later on, she started having twice-weekly sessions with her tennis instructor, ironically enough.




With this ring, I thee enslave.



Wow.  You could almost believe she actually intends to do it, huh?  Yum.

Sunday, July 1, 2018

O Canada (again)

Proper post on Tuesday.




The reference, of course, is to this.  As those of you who've been reading the blog for more than four years will instantly have spotted.  Sad bastards.

Friday, June 29, 2018

Nonsensual BDSM




Of course, it's more effective to kill mens' lib off with kindness and reasoned argument.  But not nearly as much fun.





I suppose a blowjob is out of the question? You might as well ask... it couldn't hurt.



Thank goodness she gave you a safeword.  OK, she's gagged you and also forgotten it.  But I think that demonstrates her commitment to responsible play.



Oh, nobody still beats her own husband in this day and age do they?



Goodness, what a long one, as no one in the history of the planet has ever said to me.


Tuesday, June 26, 2018

Beneath contempt

... but I'm working my way up and maybe one day.


Or both?



I think she's going to bring a lot to the team.



Hmmm. That interview reminds me of something. Oh yes.



It's great that she's actually going to shoot me, because I'm terrible at pretending. If I wasn't screaming in actual agony, it wouldn't be convincing at all. Women - they think of everything, huh?



Don't worry, it doesn't control your brain or anything like that. It's just a way of improving the feedback loop between disobedient thoughts and unpleasant consequences.

Friday, June 22, 2018

Pertinent

I always try to be.


You could try combining the two?





She should really increase your housekeeping allowance, you know.  I think you should take a stand on this.  Be a man, you know?



Just a joke, OK?  If you're religious at all, please be reassured that I have the utmost respect for all religions.  I uphold your right to worship your god, whatever you call Her.



She's really making an effort to satisfy your fetish here.



Hmm.  Looks like they didn't read my email about my likes and dislikes in session.  The corset is supposed to stay on.  Plus, I'm pretty sure I didn't request the whole plastic sheeting, knives and blood thing. I'll have to have a word.

Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Ladies who leash




Seven days in already, so counting down the  days from 21 that's only 14 to go? Or 83 if it's 90.  Whatever.



Oh, I think - with all due respect - Madame Sarka is being unduly harsh on English, here.  But then, she's really good at being unduly harsh.



Actually, the taste depends a lot more on what it had to eat a few hours earlier.



Sometimes she fills the bag with ice, so as he's sweating in the heat there, he gets some lovely cool drips of water. Usually, though, she doesn't.



I'm not worried. Just terrified.