Tuesday, February 20, 2018


And if you don't think so... well, that just proves her point, doesn't it?

Time for some firmer measures here too.

I have no idea what that means.  I don't even speak Swiss - or Austrian or whatever.

I paid a prostitute for a 'girlfriend experience' once.  She took out an injunction and banned me from being within half a mile of her.  I am allowed to visit her flat once a month to make the payments, though.

Yes.  Yes it is.

Friday, February 16, 2018

Fragile masculinity

...and that's a precious thing, because - oops!  Dropped it.  Oh well.  I never really used it anyway.  I'll fetch a dustpan and brush, shall I, Ma'am?

Now that sounds like a man who's strong enough to say sorry.

We hold these truths to be self-evident.  That all men are created feral.

Perhaps if you save up, you could buy her time for an evening or something. On your wedding anniversary, for example.  That would be a nice gesture.

Divorce in haste, repent at leisure.  The positive thing is that he's actually still seeing quite a lot of his wife, which I think is very healthy.


It's called 'I dare you even to think about not telling the truth, you devious little brat.'

Tuesday, February 13, 2018

What is femininism anyway?

Philomena Cunk has the answer.  Men are just like women really, they've got their own little personalities.

Not femdom - I just adore Diane Morgan.

This that follows is femdom, obviously.

A romantic moment. Treasure it.

Hmmm. Now if only I could unlock this collar, to get the word out to the other men...  Oh well.

She sounds even Mina than the lovely ladies in the picture.

Nothing to be embarrassed about.  Unless you enjoy that sort of thing.

Or why the world's hair is such a weird colour.

Friday, February 9, 2018

Love is a danger of a different kind

It's guilt edged, glamorous and sleek by design; you know it's jealous by nature, false and unkind.

Cuts and more cuts!  What do I pay my taxes for, I'd like to know?  Well... OK, I don't actually pay taxes because I just get £5 a week pocket money.  But my wife pays taxes on my income, so I think this is just disgraceful.

That's a rhetorical question.  No need to provide reasons in response.

Let's find out.

Lose coffee privileges??  Ooh - hard limit!  Red, Mistress, red!

Which is quite often, obviously.

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

Unfair maidens

Or even better news.  Depending on what your kink is.

She's right (she always is) - we men should be able to stand up for ourselves.  Being able to sit down without wincing would be nice, too.

He still has two more wishes, of course. If only the ladies could understand his squeaking... I wonder what they would be?

Of course.

They have a very Special Relationship.

Friday, February 2, 2018

Before you start, you're already beat

Ohhh, ohhhh, ohhhh.

Hmm.  You could try asking her where she saw it last?

Never presume.

The performance reviews are considerably more stringent, for a start.

She's good on indifference curves too.

Just for grumpy old Mr Anonymous who commented on the last post.

Just thought I'd share a link to 'Hbear' AKA Drunksimian, a femdom artist whom I've only just discovered - amazingly enough, as I love femdom art (if I could draw I would not caption photos!) and I'm always looking for it.  I think these are great - they're mostly along rather heavy 'prison guard in leather themes', a bit like early Sardax or Nanshakh.  Worth checking out if you're into that

Tuesday, January 30, 2018


Fortunately, the best man's speech wasn't as embarassing as these things sometimes are. I guess it's hard to give a funny speech, when the bride's sucking you off.

My wife likes to try adventurous sex, in all sorts of different public places.  It's pretty exciting for me, too, when she comes home to tell me all about it.

Well, looks like you won't be the only man on the gender studies course!

She's really good at 'bitter, revengeful ex-girlfriend' scenes too.  But she does charge extra.

I think that's quite an important point.  I mean, just because she tortures unwilling victims to death, that doesn't mean that's the only thing you can say about her, you know? She's a complete human being into lots of different stuff - don't judge her, OK?

Friday, January 26, 2018

Lip service

A good point.

I think she did, but I wasn't listening.  Matter of fact, that's one of the reasons I'm here.

This, I don't need.

I hope she won't be long.  Or too thick.

I've heard Gal isn't keen in shaking hands with her many male fans.  I can't imagine why not.

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

And when force is gone, there's always Mom

Hi Mom!

She's right you know.  It's the first thing a new husband should learn: always ask permission.  Humbly.  Even when she's being an impossible girl.

Boundaries, consequences... firmness.  I was reading about it in a book about making your marriage work.  Well... I say it was about marriage. Technically, it was about dog training.  But the principles are the same.

Best years of his life.  And many, many more to come, I suspect.

I am.  They have a mission statement, you know. It's quite inspiring.  Oh... now what was it again?

Boundaries, consequences.  Didn't I tell you?

Saturday, January 20, 2018


Not a proper post, one of those on Tuesday.

This is a message to any readers of the blog who are sissies: into very feminine, frou-frou things, basically.  Not those readers into hard BDSM and cattleprods - that was yesterday.

Anyway, I've recently returned from a trip on Air France and I was reminded that their in-flight safety video is really very nice. 

To judge by the user names of my followers here and on the derivative Tumblr site, there are quite a lot of you who are more into flouncey skirts than cold dark jail cells, and you might well enjoy this if you haven't seen it before (it's been around for years).

I study the safety video intently whenever I fly Air France. So, I notice, do most men.  Probably we're all just safety-conscious.

But now you can experience it in the comfort of your own furtive porn browsing.  Not that it's porn, obviously.  Thoroughly SFW.


Friday, January 19, 2018

Consent, given freely

OK, deep breath. Now, I suspect that for 98% or so of you this warning and disclaimer is not necessary but the Internet is a big place and most of the readers here are male, so the average IQ isn't so high... and I do just occasionally worry that someone might misinterpret (or, in true Internet outrage style, get offended on behalf of someone else who might misinterpret etc etc etc) what is posted here.

So... just to be clear, this blog is basically intended to be funny in a slightly surreeal manner as well as sexy, even if it often fails to be either. Got it?  It is not intended to be realistic or a guide to safe BDSM play.  Or complicated ropework or the politics of BDSM, just like the disclaimers say, OK?

If this information is in any way new to you... if you've previously taken the posts here to be an accurate depiction of aspects of the BDSM scene, then  I'd suggest the following. Firstly, don't read the captions below.  Secondly, contact a domme, book a session.  In my experience They are all really, really nice and understanding, OK? Nothing to worry about. You'll have a great time. Anyway, tell Her you'd like a humiliation session, maybe school-based, in which She berates you for being such a dumb idiot, calls you a moron, all that kind of thing, OK?  Mistress and very stupid slave play, basically.  Because - and it's just a guess here - I think you'd be really, really good at that.

Rest of you still here?  Jolly good. It's a themed post today - read them in order.

The basic theme today, by the way, was somewhat inspired by the wonderful work of Miss Irene Clearmont.  Very few femdom books are worth actually buying on Amazon (hey - great name!).  Hers are, in my humbled opinion.