Tuesday, October 25, 2016


Ah... reminds me of my collaring ceremony.  It happened right here, actually, not three feet away from where I am crouching right now.

I'm very aware of sexism in the workplace, being one of the more inferior members of the inferior gender.

I don't understand men who send women pictures of their penises.  I mean, it's just asking for trouble.  Like waving a raw steak in front of a hungry leopard.

On the plus side, his steel tube is a lot bigger than mine or yours.

You say "Yes, please".

Friday, October 21, 2016

Simple instructions

Of course, if you're fetish happens to be 'working all the hours there are in a mindnumbingly dull office job to earn money for her to spend on male prostitutes' then you've really hit the jackpot here.

There are painful side effects if you take less than the recommended dose, by the way.

There were actually supposed to be a lot more men there, but Clara messed up the email invitation. If you think you're uncomfortable, just imagine how she's feeling right now!

Oh. OK, then.

Hmm. I wonder what she's planning to keep in there, then, if not you?

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Back to his place

That seems very cruel.  My own SO is much kinder - she's got me on a diet consisting almost entirely of  fatty bacon sandwiches and chocolate cake!  Yum.  She wants me to take up smoking too.  She's thoughtful like that.

There's actually a Lifetime Achievement category at the annual snuff movie awards, but strangely no-one's ever claimed it.

Well... OK. As long as she listens to his concerns this time.  Last time, she decided she needed to pee right in the middle of the conversation and I think he never got to say everything he intended.

There you are, you see?  Now why did she let him get like that? Too soft on him, that's what she is.

This blog doesn't often feature dominant males, so say hi to Master Rod.  You won't be seeing him often, but maybe he'll be brought out to play from time to time.

Friday, October 14, 2016

Blonde justice

Yes.  Someone needs to let her know that you just can't get a toilet bowl really clean by licking it, either. Will you tell her, or shall I?

Mmmm... nine-and-a-half times the fun!
 I'm not generally a big fan of the US 'mean young women' style of femdom, but Miami Mean Girls is really pretty good.  I think it's the same as AmericanMeanGirls too. There's a lady called Goddess Rodea (that's not her, above) who I think is particularly wonderful.  Worth a look.

Your kink is not her kink.  Which is just as well, or you'd have to murder her, and think how awful that would be.

Could even have a key-swapping party.  Such fun, until someone loses a key and then there's weeks of recrimination and tears.

It's going to be hard to carry all that shopping with a broken arm. Perhaps you could ask for the arm to be broken later, when you're back?  What's that?  You think that sort of impertinence might just annoy her? Yeah, probably right. Oh well, one-armed shopping it is.
Goddess Lexi of course, featured on Femdom Empire.

Tuesday, October 11, 2016


And don't worry if you find yourself crying at night, miserable, love-lorn and alone, OK? Cos she's fine with that too.

You don't want to be one of those men that just satisifies his own sexual desire and leaves her unfulfilled, do you?  No? Didn't think so. Up you get, then.  Don't forget to scream on the way down.

I used to have this problem of my sessions being over too quickly.  So I complained to my domme and now we have this system whereby my session officially 'starts' 23 hours before I actually arrive.  I get a 10% discount off the usual hourly rate too, so it's a good deal really.

So many new things to understand in this relationship.  The dictionary's a big help.  So's the shock collar, of course.

What a lovely spanking bench.  Don't you think?

Friday, October 7, 2016

Hyperaggressive femininity

Sometimes, it's not the joke but how you tell it.  I can always get my SO to laugh in session by telling a long joke, as long as I'm screaming and pleading hysterically for mercy as I try to get the words out.

Sorry about the joke, by the way.  Works better with nuns... one of the few things that does.

Oh well.  Potentially there's reincarnation to look forward to, I guess.

Typical woman.  Why not just discuss it straight away?  So much more efficient.

That's not strictly accurate.  He actually can complain.  As much as he likes really.

Reminds me of the way my SO 'helps' me with the housework sometimes,

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Unsafe words

...and some bloody dangerous pictures too.

Ah, you always need to watch out for the feminine, unthreatening ones.  And even more for the feminine, extremely threatening ones, obviously.

Oh well.  Something to do while waiting to drive her home, I suppose.

I imagine most readers of this blog will mainly be familiar with this actress from Walk All Over Me, but I understand she was also in a science fiction series on TV.

She wishes she didn't have to do this, you know.  She hates pain.  Oh no, hang on - that's him.  Never mind.  She's fine with it. 

Actually, I come closest to achieving self respect in precisely those circumstances.  But it's never that close, admittedly.

...and a bonus topical one: 


Friday, September 30, 2016

Reasons to be fearful

You need to be careful about dehydration, as that can cause brain damage.  So, if the sub's higher brain functions are important to you, make sure you give him plenty of water.  But if not, don't worry about it.

Somehow I'm guessing that saying 'no - sorry, I think there's nothing here like that' would not actually result in the beating being cancelled.

You just have to learn to masturbate without using your hands. Or moving.

It's the difference between a cold, professional relationship and the warm partnership of a real marriage.

There's a lot more of it, though.

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

I know when I've been beaten

You want to get your money's worth, after all.

I've always thought that rubbing cold cream on is kind of disrespectful, you know? I mean, if she'd wanted it to hurt less, she could have done it like that, so it's almost as if you're arguing back.

Dommes eh? Will have their little joke. She does that every time, but wise subs will try to laugh each time as if it's still fresh.

Yes.  Trying to rescind a slavery agreement if she doesn't want to is technically theft, if you think about it.

Sometimes it's good if a couple are forced closer together by this sort of thing.  You might find out how much she really loves you.

There's got to be a joke here somewhere about tenderising the meat. If I think of one, I'll get back to you, OK?

Friday, September 23, 2016

Long to reign over us


Like many dommes, she's actually the kindest person you could ever meet.  Although she must know that the poor thing's probably already dead, she's going to pull and push and press and kick with all her might, if there's still a chance that could get it out unharmed.

Yes - useful tip there: it's a 'storage space'.  I went to the out of town furniture superstore and asked to see beds with an inbuilt cuckie closet and the saleswoman gave me ever such a funny look.  She took me to the right section, though, so I suppose that it was all right.  And she even let Raoul and my wife try the mattress out, so in the end it worked out quite well for everyone.

Yeah, lots of people say size doesn't matter but they're not the ones being used as pain-toys because it's all they're good for, now, are they?
 The glorious Gigi Allens, of course.  Is there a sadder phrase anywhere on the Internet than her self-description as a 'former professional dominatrix'?  Howl!

Actually, for me it was the maid's costume in that movie.  Mrrrow!