Tuesday, April 16, 2019

Feet first

It's got to turn out my way one of these times...

Hmm... looks like she's finished all of that bottle of water.

If it were being totally candid, it might suggest that it would occasionally appreciate being whipped just a little less hard, but fortunately it has the sense to keep its moronic opinions to itself.

I don't see how the marriage can be regarded as consummated unless she has had sex too.  Hmm...  do you suppose that bell-boy is still around?  He seemed nice.

I think he'll be cleaning her tank again.

Friday, April 12, 2019

Where's Freddie?

What happened to Freddie's Tales?


In honour of New Order, here's a few captioned images that are nothing like as good.

You'll always find me in the kitchen at parties

Happy relationships are all about boundaries.  Many newly-married men get a bit silly about not being able to lead the batchelor life any more, but are you really any 'less free' just because from now on you can't do or say anything your wife disapproves of?  It's just a different way of life, that's all.

Rubbing up against a tree?  Sounds a bit kinky.

She seems nice.

Yes, let's.

What a lovely film that was.  Especially the bath scene...

Tuesday, April 9, 2019

Oppressed desires

When I look at her, something about her gaze reminds me of my SO.  And the woman in the picture looks like someone I know, too.

They do such a fine job: still delivering healthcare and anti-rape services to the nation despite all the financial cuts

Remember femdom rule number one: never engage in unsafe activities like really pissing your domme off.

I've heard there's a game called Prison Architect but I'll bet it doesn't have as many options as this.

Actually, though, cigarette ash is low-calorie, fat free and even vegan.  So it can be a very healthy part of a diet, mixed together with other foodstuffs, which is exactly how I take it.

Friday, April 5, 2019

Tears before, during and after bedtime

It's actually quite high in calories, but don't worry about that because you're unlikely to be able to keep much of it down.

Thank goodness for that.  I think you can just leave the case in her capable hands.

I dunno - I find shops vary in the degree to which they are kink-friendly. Once I was sent to find some gear for an adult baby session and for some reason the staff in the 'early years' shop got all weird about it when I started asking about how strong their leather reins sets were, and whether the cots could be fitted with padlocks. But then on another occasion, I had to buy a hairbrush and the shop assistant in the department store I went to was delighted to help me try every one of them out.  Said it was something she wished she could do to more customers.  So you never know.

Silly boys.  Reinforced seat trousers do little good when they're around your ankles, anyway.

Male brains don't multi-task. Mine barely tasks at all, to be honest.  Now then: I was writing a caption..?

Tuesday, April 2, 2019

The power and the glory

Goodness. I hope I don't have to say too many Hail Marys.

There's an interesting philosophical point there, actually.  Can one 'show' nothing?  Or is 'nothing' merely the absence of showing? Taking the thought experiment further, can one be 'nothing'?  My SO says one can, and one is, so that point is fairly settled.

Icelandic femdom is complicated.  But worth it for those interested in play that involves being subjected to extremes of hot and cold, as well as eating raw fish.

Lots of men get quite nervous before their first time with her.  And full-on hysterically terified before all subsequent sessions.

Finishing with a religious theme too. The movie Valentines Day is highly recommended. Taylor, Anne... Mostly vanilla, obviously, but there is even a very brief femdomination scene, with Anne being a phone sex Russian domme with a rubber band.

Friday, March 29, 2019

Controllable lust

I'll just slip into something less comfortable before we start...

Alan's still a little nervous about the situation, OK?  So nothing too freaky when he comes round. 

Still, she looks good in it.  A bit of a waste if she doesn't wear it often... it was quite expensive, after all. Still, I'm sure you don't want her wearing something uncomfortable just for you, do you?

If it's any consolation, the amount of her time you'll be getting for free would run into tens of thousands of pounds, if she were charging in a consensual session.

That's almost as good. And a lot cleaner.

Tuesday, March 26, 2019

Born to be Wilde

Today's theme is gardens and gardening for reasons that should be obvious.

I've always fantasised about my Mistress lending me out to a vanilla friend, but it's actually less exciting than you might think.  One of her old school friends offered to try it, but almost as soon as I arrived and got changed into my perky little maid's outfit, somehow I knew it wasn't going to work.  I did the housework for a bit but I think we both felt uncomfortable and so after a couple of hours he phoned for Mistress to come and pick me up again.

Scurry scurry scurry.

There are more dandelions.  Many more.

He's at peace, now.

If she does roquet you - that is, hits one of your balls with hers - then she gets to 'croquet' - and there are two ways of doing it.  The American rule is that she puts her foot down, firmly holding the ball immobile, before tapping it with her mallet.  But in Britain, she just places her ball next to yours and thwacks as hard as she can. It's all in the angles, you see.  Anyway, both methods are a lot of fun.

Saturday, March 23, 2019

Bit o' politics

Not President Hathaway stuff, sorry. Some time.  But not today. Today we are on the other side of the Atlantic.

But only a bit of politics, because I was hoping for five captioned images but I'd better post these three before, like everyone else, I run out of time.

It seems extraordinary that I put up a similar post almost three years ago. So much has been achieved since then: our leaders have used that time wisely to create an agreement with the EU that  secures the long-term interests of both the UK and its European friends. An agreement that makes such obvious good sense that it has been accepted by acclamation in all European capitals.  Well, I for one certainly feel foolish about voting 'remain', after the Brexit process has been such a massive success. I mean, who ever would have thought the negotiations would have gone so smoothly, after all the rancour of the referendum.  Oh, hang on...

Come on, Ladies...

Friday, March 22, 2019

Helpless when she smiles

... and indeed when she doesn't.

What a tie-breaker.

Needless to say, this blog does not purport to offer financial advice, and no investments should be undertaken on the basis of what you read here, unless so advised by an independent financial advisor, or directly ordered by a woman.

My SO sometimes let me choose the style of play.  Just none of the content.

They're very strange.  I think most of them have just never experienced the firm loving guidance of a real woman. Sad, really.

Yes. Everything will be perfect.

Service orientation

My SO's always had the same rule.  Sulky face = semen face.  Simple, no argument.

Or breakfast, if you're not hungry enough by tonight.

I'd end up paying a lot of guys for a lot of things, if that rule applied to me.  It's important to prioritise: to spend your money on the things that make her most happy.

Many people who get into porn movies just do it for a short time, but snuff movie stars, oddly enough, often spend the rest of their lives in the business.

My first girlfriend told me she was strongly opposed to corporal punishment of children.  When I turned eighteen, I discovered she had strong views on the corporal punishment of adults, too.