Friday, May 27, 2016

Blonde obedience

You just have to be polite.  You don't have to approve of castration yourself - you're welcome to your own opinion, after all.  She might not take any particular notice of your opinion, but you can have it.

A talent you never knew you had.

I don't uderstand people who pay for vanilla sex. I mean, I go to a dominatrix, it's two hours of punishment and humiliation.  A really rich, varied experience. Pay someone for straight sex and what have you got?  Three seconds of fun, maybe four?

Chemical castration.  Hmm.  Not much fun for her, is it?

Little toys for little boys.

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Giving until it hurts

I donate all my spare money to the retired dominatrices' malevolent fund. It doesn't make me feel any better about myself, but it saves all that time that I used to waste buying stuff, eating out or going on holiday.

I have a very active fantasy life, as you can tell. Sometimes it does go too far, though.  I mean,'s lib??  Come on Servitor...let's try to keep the blog reasonably grounded in reality.

Yes, I've never had any problem with female authority figures.  My difficulty arises when we have 19 year-old female interns around the office.  They're just not used to giving orders or having someone else get their coffee.  But over the course of a six week internship, they usually get the idea.

To cut a long story short: she said so, he protested, she insisted, he tearfully agreed and now it's one of their biggest sellers.  So he can afford to give her even more tribute.  Funny how things work out.

That doesn't mean she would always give you a handjob, of course. 

...and why it will continue to happen.

Friday, May 20, 2016

And all I do is kiss you through the bars of a cage

... well I would if you put your boot a little closer, anyway.

About that which we cannot speak, we must remain silent.

Dommes.. they're all about rules.
 This is the delightful Domina Liza.  I think I'd be happy in her cage forever, if I could see her dressed in green, setting off that stunning auburn hair, from time to time.

Regrets? He's had a few.  And he'll have plenty of time for a few more.

Well, he does need a new companion. Some might say the adventures would be a little dull, if he's never allowed out.  But I'd watch it.
If you know what this caption is about, you might also enjoy this.  Or you might not.

What do you mean, this one doesn't fit today's 'cage' theme?  Of course it does.  The cage isn't actually in the picture, because it hasn't been delivered yet.  But it'll be ready for you when you get back from honeymoon.

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Marriage guidance

Honesty is so important in a mariage. I told my wife on our wedding night that I wanted her to be completely honest and open, if my performance in bed wasn't satisfying her, and the very next day she told the hotel staff and a couple of guys we met in a bar all about it.  And since then, she's told all her friends, all my friends, my co-workers and quite a lot of random strangers.  So much better for these things to be out in the open, don't you think?

Oh... that Sonia.  Oh dear.

We can't always get what we want. She can, but we can't.

I guess you could always renegotiate if it isn't working out for one or other of you.

She's got a lot of pain for Doug to work through.

Friday, May 13, 2016

You've got me pretty deep baby

I can't figure out your watery love

She can help you deal with feelings of guilt, too.

I've never seen the point of masturbation gloves, to be quite honest.  I mean why buy a special item of clothing that you're almost never going to wear?

You could try to bluff your way out. Or grovel.  I think I'd go with grovel... but that's just me.

Nice to have something to think about, to take your mind off how much it's going to fucking hurt.

Always consensual. It's rule number 1.  Well, in my relationship it's actually rule number 286, but you know what I mean.

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

The agony and the ecstacy

Well, she seems very nice. Many dommes would be quite angry in such a situation.  Up you get.

She needs the money to get into the scene, that's all.  Don't worry - she's genuinely turned on by fat middle-aged men rubbing against her like that.  That's why she does it.

She owns a plumber too, which could come in handy if she decides to install you as a toilet slave.

I think Emily will be able to tell exactly how very, very sorry you are in just a short while.

Yes, I rather suspect she does.

Friday, May 6, 2016

It's all so calculating (she's got a calculator)

You say you'll never know him, he's an unnatural man

It's not the size anyway, it's what you do with it.  And how many times.

He can say no, of course. As many times as he likes, actually.

She gets through boyfriends quite quickly, I've heard.  Must be a bit fickle, I suppose.  Shame, 'cos she's cute.

Looks good on her, don't you think?  Better than on the donors, I expect.

Actually, there are lots of things they don't approve of men doing. Good job you've got her to protect you.

Tuesday, May 3, 2016


The most successful Cruella video? Oh, gotta be Drowning in piss.  Seen it have you?  Yeah, just about everyone has.  It’s funny, ‘cos it actually all came about by accident.  The sub was supposed to have this little tube between his cheek and his jaw, so he could keep breathing even when we shoved piss-sodden panties into his mouth and blocked his nostrils up with used tampons.  But the silly fucker had put in in the wrong way round so it didn’t work.

It took him quite a while to die, though.  I mean, what you see there as we take the panties out of his mouth and ‘refresh’ them, then shove em back in while he’s still gasping in air – that’s all real.  We thought he was just acting of course – and it was odd ‘cos he’s always been fucking hopeless as an actor before.  We didn’t realise until his fourth pantie-change, about half an hour in, when there was a tea break, and we left him gagged up… with the camera on, so we could get some footage of him writhing around. Then when we came back – well… you know. 

We were a bit worried, but the police came round and when they saw the contract he’d signed, and we showed them the little tube and how the little fucker could perfectly well have put it in the right well round and he’d still be alive, the fucking moron, well they said it was just an industrial accident.

And we were going to destroy the tape (this was before digital, see) but then Caroline said “Well, why not release it?  We could make some money and some good could come of all of this.”  So we put it on the market, and of course it was one of the very few absolutely legal snuff movies out there, so it started selling better than anything else we’d got.

And actually, it was when his ex-wife sued for a share of the profits that we really hit the big time, ‘cos it was in all the papers. For a while there, it was outselling all our other titles put together.  She was a nasty old cow, she was.  Kept trying to get us to settle, but we had these really good lawyers (they were subs, so we didn’t have to pay them) and the judge took our side.  Knew perfectly well what would happen to him at his next session if he didn’t, didn’t he?  Anyway, the video sold out and we had all our copying machines working 24/7 producing more of them.  Made a killing.  You know, he’s dying for about – oh 32 minutes or so? – on-screen. From when we first shoved the panties in to when the coroner reckoned he’d become brain-dead. Well, one of my slaves who’s an accountant worked out that he earned us £1650 for every second he was dying.  Got myself a fur coat – and a sports car.

A bit sad? I don't see why, to be perfectly honest.  I mean, he was much more valuable dying in agony like that than continuing to live his sad little life.  Gave a lot of people a lot of pleasure.  And his wife didn’t like him at all – she just wanted some money, grasping old cow.  And there’s lots of subs around, aren’t there?  I mean, I know it sounds a bit dismissive, but really, there are.  You can’t get upset about losing just one of them like that.  Wouldn’t normally notice, even.  But he got famous, even got noticed by quite a few dominant women, didn’t he?  They dream of that, don't they? 

Subs.  We remember him - can't say that about many subs.

Hmm? Oh… it’s err… do you know I’ve forgotten? ‘Trevor’, ‘Terry’ maybe.  Some sort of sub name like that.  ‘Robin’.  That kind of thing, anyway.  Maybe 'Michael'.

Does it matter?

The part of the callous dominatrix in this heartwarming tale was played (in about 1983, I think) by the lovely Linda Leigh, who is probably not at all like this in real life, but really nice and kind. Although I hope she isn't.

Friday, April 29, 2016

I'm so hot for her, I'm on fire for her

yet she's so cold.  And so's the tub of cream in the bathroom cabinet, if she'll only let me out of this corner to go and get some. Please, Mistress. Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease.

It's not about you, do you see?

Actually, you can fit a sub in either way round. She's just got it wrong, that's all. Made an embarassing, stupid mistake. Do you want to tell her, or shall I?

I could add a caption here, but what does my opinion matter anyway?

It's important to understand the power dynamics of your bdsm relationship. Frankly, that's important at any time, but it's particularly important when you're naked and dangling helplessly from the ceiling.

It's good she's decided to treat you as an adult, for once.

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Adult content warning

Persons proceeding past this point will encounter no genuinely adult content whatsoever, merely juvenile humour and sexual innuendo written by someone with the emotional intelligence of a teenager. You have been warned.

Let's hope he enjoyed wishes 1 and 2.

Not very politically correct. Perhaps I need to be politically corrected.

Don't worry, she'll give him a 10% discount for all those extra hours.

These gender roles are essentially all social constructs anyway.  Why should we have to conform to a role because of what sex we are?  What if I choose not to do the housework, hmm? Well... I get tied across a chair and thrashed, obviously. But I could if I wanted to.. and didn't mind the beating. That's the point.

Self-harming is such a waste.  When there are people out there who'd love to do it for you.