Saturday, April 16, 2011

Fiction: Misappliance of science - Part 1

Good morning girls! Welcome to the Faculty of Experimental Methodologies for Disciplining and Oppressing Males (FEMDOM). My name is Ms Lisa, and I’ll be accompanying you on your tour today. I’m sure we’ll see many things of interest, and there might even be a few laughs on the way. But do remember at all times that this is a working research facility, carrying out important work in the field of male subjugation. Please try to stay on the path at all times. In some areas of the facility, hard hats and protective coats will be issued to all female visitors and you are strongly advised to wear them.

FEMDOM was founded* just after the Male Citizenship and Private Property Act** came into effect, to conduct fundamental R&D in the exciting new field of female domination. At that time, you know, there weren’t even any university courses in it! So the founders were true pioneers, and a lot of what we now know about hurting males was discovered right here, in those early years. We really like to think that a lot of the things we take for granted today that make boys’ lives miserable wouldn’t be around if it wasn’t for the work done here.

It is important that young girls understand that science can be fun as well as being serious.  That's why the Instuitute has a hands on area where visitors can experiment for themselves, in a safe and fun environment.

It’s a self-funding facility. None of your mothers’ taxes are used to pay for this research. At the start, we got our income mainly from breeding and selling slaves. With today’s glut in the slave market, we wouldn’t make much that way, but now we have products out there for which there’s a real consumer demand – and we’re patenting more all the time. I expect all your slaves have real-time tracking implants? The basic technology was developed here. And if you’ve ever rubbed Stingercreme® into a boy’s eyes – ah I see some nods there – well, then you’ve used one of our products.


This way - the tour begins. Now, as teenage girls I expect you all have the very latest fashion in whips. Oh, don’t try to tell me about it, I know nothing about fashion. A whip is a whip as far as I’m concerned. But I suppose you wouldn’t dream of being seen out without one of those blue transparent plastic ones that…what’s that? Well, yes I suppose I am ‘so last year’. What is ‘in’ then? Good lord, really? Well, all right. You might all be in the height of fashion with your cute little diamante Dior whips …but I’ll bet you have never seen a whip like – this.

No, it’s not much to look at, but would someone like to give it a go? Here you are – there are some males just along there for testing purposes. Try to find a reasonably unwhipped bit of flesh and give it a good crack. There. What do you think of that? Feel free to have a go, all of you, with your cute fashion-whips, I can tell you, you won’t match that welt in a hurry. See? No, Susan, it’s not a particularly sensitive slave – look, you struck him in almost exactly the same place with your own whip, and the mark is puny by comparison.
Now, you can see that there’s nothing very  –

 – if you can all just stop whipping the boys for a moment? Please? Just for a? –

- there really will be plenty of opportunities for –  Thank You.

Now, there’s nothing very different about this whip to look at, in fact next to yours it looks downright dowdy. But if you looked at it under a microscope, you’d see a little saw-tooth pattern all over it. Here – draw your finger over the surface – gently, we don’t want anyone to get hurt! Feels a little like pins and needles, doesn’t it? Well when it’s wielded firmly, those microscopic teeth grab and cut and pull at the male’s flesh, down to a millimetre below the surface and it’s as if every single pain receptor is being individually whipped to perfection.

Protective gloves must be worn when working with the WhipSmart® material, as the slightest touch can sting the skin to create a burning sensation lasting for days.

We call it WhipSMart®. This whip will revolutionise industrial production. We ran some experiments in one of the textile factories around here. Do you know, they managed to get their slaves working 25% harder, while having to deal out only half the number of strokes as before? We tried it in an engineering firm too. They’d been using a blowtorch when they really needed to get their workers to go all-out, and of course eventually that damaged the slaves. Not to mention the fire hazard it caused. After our demonstration, the slaves were begging for the blowtorch to come back!

It will go on sale shortly. I carry one already. Who knows – maybe for the first time in my life, I’ll be ahead of the fashion!

The KeepHim Safe®

Now, over this way we are developing something very interesting. Long-term secure slave storage. Just pop a slave in here and he’ll keep for years without any supervision. If he – what’s that? Well, I know most people don’t want to store slaves. I agree, especially now they’re ten-a-penny. We didn’t always live in such a throw-away culture, though. You wouldn’t understand because you’re too young. But some older ladies, maybe those that married before the revolution, when men were still considered people – some of them are quite attached to their former husbands.

Well, you might all look shocked but you know just 30 years ago that wasn’t so surprising. Doesn’t anyone have a father that your mother keeps around, for sentimental reasons? No? Or maybe a grandfather? Yes – that’s more like it.

Well, like your grandmothers, my mother still keeps my father around: in the attic in an old cage she had him build up there. She’s seventy-three and of course she has younger slaves for looking after the house, and for playing with (oh yes, even old ladies like to get the whip out from time to time!). She doesn’t need him, and sometimes I’ve tried to persuade her to just get rid of the smelly old thing. But she’s attached to him, says it would be like throwing her wedding photographs out. It’s a nuisance making sure he’s fed and watered all the time, and once she nearly lost him by accident when she went on holiday and forgot to make arrangements. So – this is the answer. The KeepHim Safe®.

As you can see, it’s a bit like a sleeping bag, but made of sturdy thick rubber. It’s padded inside and waterproof. I wonder – Ms Chalmers – could you just help me demonstrate on a boy? Yes – that one will be fine. Now, as you can see, girls, Miss Chalmers is attaching the pipes at the bottom first. Those take away the excrement, and that tube fits tightly over his penis for the wee, and also prevents any other little accidents. Then his legs and arms are wrapped up in this soft bubblewrap…then this tube goes into his mouth.

That’s right, Alice, it does go a long way in. It runs right down into his stomach, so the food and water goes straight in, ensuring nothing drips out of his mouth. So then the mouth can be sealed securely around it…so. Breathing tubes in the nose - that’s always a fiddly bit but it’s quite important to get it right. Then pull the bubblewrap round here, so it’s just bulging out a little, then zip it all shut and pop this padlock on…

…like so, and there’s no danger of him moving a muscle. This backpack thing is the little box of tricks where all the pipes go – switch on here, and he’s all set.

Well, obviously there’s not much to see after that.  Ever.

Now this is interesting because er... oh I'm so sorry.  This is just a couple of staff relaxing in the lounge.  No science going on here just at the moment.  Let's move on.

It’s very economical. We can run food and water on one, two or three cycle mode. That’s because slaves are very wasteful – their waste products still contain useful nutrients. We can set it automatically to cycle the waste through a second, or even a third time before it delivers fresh food. There are no set times for feeding or evacuation, by the way – it’s more like a constant oozing. Round and round.  Round and round...

On some models, there is an electric shock setting, which can deliver shocks to various body parts at a random intervals, on an average frequency set by the user. You can also programme it to deliver the majority of shocks overnight, on the Economy 7 tariff. So it’s not too extravagant, and it does give you peace of mind to stop you worrying that the boy might be happy. But this is the basic model – just keeps the boy warm, fed and alive. And in one place, obviously. We’re hoping these might find a use as emergency slave supplies storage, for example sitting ready to ship to disaster areas when there’s an urgent need for a lot of manual labour. But we’re still exploring all the possibilities really.

What’s that? Well this model was only completed last year, so of course it’s not been tested beyond twelve months. But we’re confident it could run without a hitch for ten years if need be. We have earlier models that have been loaded for just over five years, and we have about a 70% survival rate there – which is pretty good for a prototype, we feel. We’ve just put an eighteen year-old into one of these new models, and we’ve stored it away to bring out at FEMDOM’s 100th birthday party in 72 years time. Hoping to bring out a ninety year-old slave! Yes – I know it’s a horrible thought. But we’ll dispose of him quite quickly, it’ll really just be a PR device to show off the model’s capability.

Boring? Yes, I suppose it will be. But when you think of the things that might otherwise be happening to him on the outside, he’s rather lucky really.

An example of the high technology precision instruments available in the facility.

Come along, there’s much more to see. Let’s visit the biology section, as I think you’ll find that very educational. Oh – don’t look like that. I promise you, this is nothing like a school biology lesson. Follow me, and don’t touch anything.

A lecture on genetics and evolution

Now, inside us, what makes us what we are, are things called genes. It’s because of my genes that I have blue eyes and –

 – Can you pay attention please? ‘Rachel’ is it? Well, it is because of your genes that you have your beautiful amber eyes, Rachel, so do try to keep them open!

Genes determine a lot of things: what you like to eat, who you choose as your girlfriend, even little things like whether you prefer Brie or Cheddar cheese, or you like your males screaming or gagged when you punish them. All living things have genes. We have a set of genes that makes us differ from each other a bit, but also makes us people; unlike chimps, lizards, males or daffodils.

Yes, that’s right. Males are genetically quite distinct from us. Research into the ‘Y’ chromosome – which males have and we do not – has identified genes for clumsiness, for stupidity, for arrogance and for laziness.

But nature is a wonderful creator of balance. Our own double-X chromosomes dispose us towards command, control and also give us a healthy streak of cruelty. For millennia, females’ sadistic nature was ignorantly repressed. Women who punished men were regarded as unusual, sick even. But now we understand that a desire to inflict pain on males is natural: an innocent desire just like an appetite for delicious food, an appreciation of beauty or the love of another woman.

Using evolutionary principles of the survival of the fittest, institute scientists have for some time now been trying to evolve men who can breathe underwater - so far, it has to be admitted, without success.

We females and males are yin and yang, the hammer and the anvil, the hawk and the mouse, the hot iron and the flesh. We need to punish them to be fully human, and they need punishment to be useful and fulfilled.

Male inferiority is simply a scientific fact. For example, consider the male genitalia. Yes, I know it’s disgusting. But really, just think how wonderfully well-designed they are for their purpose. The testicles hang neatly outside the body, affording easy access for dominant females. Yet, they are more sensitive than any other part of the male body, and as you no doubt all know, even a relatively gentle tap with any instrument can result in a gratifyingly agonized response. Human male testicles are considerably larger than those of the other great apes, so there’s plenty to work with.

Now, creationists make a lot of this: they say that male testicles being so perfectly suited to our desire to hurt them shows the Goddess’s hand as a supernatural creator. But most scientists just see it as another beautiful proof of evolution. Current scientific thinking is that as humans developed a two-legged posture, the use of knees on male testicles became particularly easy and males with more sensitive and exposed testicles would have an evolutionary advantage, being more willing to submit themselves to wiser female direction. So, those with more sensitive testicles thrived under female control, while those with less sensitive ones did their own thing – and probably got run over by mammoths, or fell off cliffs and suchlike. So – the latest scientific thinking is that the testicles evolved as they are, essentially to be punished.

Indeed, some biologists believe that humans’ upright posture itself actually evolved to allow easier punitive access to the testicles, as well as positioning the buttocks perfectly for the use of correctional tools. And also, you might like to know, some believe that our opposable thumb and tool-using capabilities evolved primarily in order to wield instruments of correction on male buttocks. Imagine yourselves back in Africa a million years ago, on the very day when some brilliant apelike human gazed down at a stick on the ground and conceived of using it for whipping the buttocks of some uncooperative male. The dawn of womankind! But I digress.

Are we still evolving? No, almost certainly not. Evolution works through natural selection, and in today’s comfortable world, with so many machines, modern medicines and slaves, the pressures that drive natural section are absent. People will remain much as they are – which is pretty perfect anyway. But males are probably still evolving. Of course, not much happened until the female-led revolution restored the natural order of things 30 years ago. But now, with the widespread use of remote electric shock devices, the two-legged posture is no longer needed to allow testicular access, and of course most owners prefer their slaves to spend a lot of time on all fours…so males are almost certainly reverting to quadrupedal status.

What can she mean?  Find out next time, for this story is...


Under pressure from animal rights groups, the facility has been seeking to develop human male (humale) alternatives to domesticated animals.  Success has been mixed.  The humale version of the pig has already been replacing animals in farms across the country.  The development of horses is proceeding well, although there is still some way to go.  But researchers have to report that there has been almost no progress at all in replacing the cow with a humale alternative at this stage.  The volume of milk produced is very low and the taste simply awful.

*Under its original name, the British Institute of Technology for Caring and Healing – a name chosen supposedly to hide its true purposes, without much success.

**Historical note.  A landmark piece of legislation, in the post-revolutionary era, the Male Citizenship and Private Property Act, as its title implies, removed citizenship from men and redefined them as private property.

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