Wednesday, September 2, 2015

The true Scotch

Although these days, there are Scottish-sounding brands available everywhere, the true connoisseur knows that nothing can match the genuine product of the Highlands.  Lochgelly (some insist on "The Lochgelly"), is a name known to connoisseurs the world over, with good reason.

The dark hue, redolent of the rich Scottish peat, the way the upper surface catches the light... The glorious blend of smells diffusing from the slightly smoky well-cured leather tinged with a subtle oil, that harmonises perfectly with the inevitable scents of sweat and fear.
And the taste!  Oh, the taste.  Many have tried to describe it, none with true success. ‘Like an explosion across all five senses’.  ‘When you first experience it you think this can has to be the end – an unrepeatable, once in a lifetime experience.  But then it comes again, and again, and again…’  The sharp sting from the initial contact with the surface of the skin is soon overwhelmed by a glow of pain that penetrates deep into the body.  The aftertaste can still be experienced days later.  One of our young interns recently spent a day at Lochgelly, tasting one tawse after another, and was almost incapable of speech by the end of the day. ‘A truly humbling experience’ he eventually confessed.

‘Just holding a Lochgelly in my hand makes me smile’, declares Miss Evangeline Porter, of the Porter Reform School for young gentlemen. ‘Whether it’s the start of a full day’s work with a class of 20 unruly pupils, or just a quiet evening in with my husband, there’s a moment of silence when I first pick up the Lochgelly. I like to savour that peaceful moment, taking my time so I can more fully appreciate the pleasure I know is to come. And I always raise the Lochgelly in a silent tribute to its makers, before I begin.’

Whether it’s the classic single-tail cracking across the palms of the hands, a two-tail delivering a quick lesson in obedience or a more modern three-tail being used to deliver a bruising in conjunction with a whipping bench, a Lochgelly will always deliver the perfect end to a hard day – or the beginning of a night to remember! So treat yourself.  There are some luxuries you can’t afford to be without.


  1. thick and evenly laid-on. what pacifies a male more? Hail, Woman!

    1. Yes indeed. I do adore that picture of the Hunteress (Cassie Hunter) in her ruffled governess skirt. Don't you?