Abject-oriented

I'm definitely going to have words with them about it when they visit!  I expect that won't be long.  They're very affectionate... in their way.

I might have a few thoughts about ironing?  And obedience to women? But I guess those will survive the treatment.

Yes you do. You know you do. You're probably doing it right now.  Pervert. (That is kind-of what the blog's for, after all)

I'm not following.  I'm just walking here, enjoying the view.  I expect if I just explain that, it'll all turn out all right.

It's actually a simple enough operation to remove it. The only problem is it's tuned to detect such thoughts, so you'd be rolling around on the floor in agony before you could even pick up the phone to a doctor to arrange it.