Self discipline is over-rated

Always better to get someone else to do it for you, either a professional or an enthusiastic amateur.  That way you'll get a proper job done.

Don't worry about the bruises.  Most clients like them.

It's not your fault.  I'm sure she won't be taking it out on you.

I usually find that a short discussion is enough, but often she wants to go into things at much greater length.

Don't worry - most men experience depression post-castration.  But do you know what?  No one gives a shit.  So that's OK.

That reminds me, one of my girlfriends used to have a pet name for me: cockroach.