Tuesday, September 30, 2014

For old times' sake 2

Oh hi!  Wow – it’s really you!  When I saw the email from the agency, I thought it must be someone else with the same name.  After all this time!
It's so great to see you again!  Because, you know, I often think I never really thanked you enough for giving me a chance in your startup.  I mean, you were like this tech guru?  The big boss!  And I was just an intern!  And now look at me – you know how much I got for the IPO?  $146m!  It’s kinda crazy. 
What a shame you had to leave the company over that sexual harassment suit, just before we did the deal with Apple.  I really didn't want to tell the investigators anything you know - none of the girls did.  I mean, except Julie, obviously.  But, you know, there was this really mean lawyer and I had to sign a thing saying I was committing the crime of perjury if I said anything untrue in my statement, so... you know.  Had to kind of tell them all about it.  But I cried about it that night.  And we didn't speak to Julie again.
Hmm?  No, she moved away.  Bought like her own island in the Caribbean, or something.  So you needn't worry about running into her too!
Still, it’s good to see you’re still in work.  And I’m so pleased I can help by being a client!  Because really, you know, I owe all of this to you.  I mean, it was your product.  Even if you signed away your rights to it, I expect you still feel some kind of ownership, huh?

So – why don’t you start in the bathroom?  You’ve got all your mops and sponges and things?  Great.  Well, you get started.  I’m going to play tennis today - I have to go now, actually - but I think you’re on a ten-hour shift?  Great.  So we’ll have time to catch up.
Oh – in the bathroom, we have these granite tiles?  With little gaps between them?  You should use a little wire brush for those.  There’s one in the utility closet, if you don’t have one with you.

Oh - yeah, and we only use natural cleaning products?  No chemicals, all through the house.  You have to work a bit harder to get a shine, but we think the planet's a bit more important!  And if it takes you a bit longer, you get paid more don't you?

Don't you?  Oh.  Well, we have to pay the agency by the hour.

Oh.  That's mean.  OK.  Well, maybe I can give you a little extra, OK?  The agency said not to, but if it's just a few dollars, I don't see the harm in it.  If you do a good job!

See you later!


  1. Under the rubric of serving a woman, this captures my two favorite themes - general role reversal and male manager, female subordinate role reversal. Fortunately, "what might have been" will keep his mind occupied while he scrubs every inch of her bathroom. Please keep up the good work.