Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Untruth or consequences

So, what did you do in London, my mother asks me as I walk in.

Paid someone to tie me up, beat me and piss on me.  I think.

Oh - nothing much, I reply.  Just saw some friends.

You smell nice.  Have you just washed your hair?

Well yes, actually.  Rather thoroughly.

Strange sort of life, we live.  Well, I do anyway.  But so do you, probably.

Fucking off now, Ma'am.
Many marriages become oppressive and abusive after a while.  In this case, about 11 minutes.
I have a very literal mind.  It's quite convenient, because it means I don't need to take offence every time I'm called a 'wanker'.
She can annex my southern regions with an illegal plebiscite any time she likes.
Geddit? Bit-o-politics, bit-o-politics
Yurshhh mw'am.  Gulp.  Bleah!


  1. thank you Ben Elton, i wondered what you are up to now a days.

    1. Nicely spotted. Oddly enough, my interest in powerful domineering women does not extend to having a Margaret Thatcher fetish, If I did, I imagine I'd be quoting him more often.