Friday, September 16, 2011

Your obedient servant

What's Portuguese for 'dominatrix'?

Don't governesses have neat handwriting?

Who are these people?  Why don't they even need to address the postcards?  Or in Her case, affix a stamp? I have no idea, sorry.

***UPDATE*** I have added the text of the two postcards 'in plain', because I guess they're unreadable.  I've kept the font, but you should be able to copy and paste into somthing ugly like Arial if you like.

Sorry about that.  If anyone wants to suggest an appropriate measure of correction, just in case I'm not sorry enough?  Hmmm....?

From him to Her:

Dear Mistress
i am having a lovely time in Brazil, at the ressort You booked.  There are a lot of other men here, some sentenced to staying just a few weeks like me, others for life rather longer.  I have marked my room with ‘X’. I spend a lot of time there.
But I go outside too.  Sometimes i lie in the sun for hours at a time, not moving a muscle!  Sometimes I just run round and round the yard. i’ve been getting quite red in the sun (and out of it), and i’m certainly getting an all-over tan!  But i’m not just layzing around!  Every morning, we all go  for a good healthy run, followed by a brisk outdoor shower.  The guards staff here like to keep us on our toes (or occasionally off them)!  There are three shifts, so there is always plenty on duty.

So, thank You again for forcing me to booking my stay here.  You were quite right – i ’ve really learnt a lot about myself, here, especially about my own self-worth.  i won’t say “wish You were here”, but i certainely wish i was with You right now!

Yours (truly!)  Servitor

From Her to him:

I received your postcard.  I was a little surprised that it had taken you so long to write.  Perhaps the staff were keeping you too busy!  I’ll call them, to ask.
I was pleased to hear how you have been getting on.  I was distinctly less pleased to count three spelling mistakes, a grammatical error and no fewer than eight crossings-out! In your next few postcards, I ‘suggest’ you should endeavour to correct the spelling errors, repeatedly (the usual count!).
Other errors will have to wait until your return.  I have made a note, and we shall discuss them with Mrs Lochgelly and Miss Rattan, whom I expect you remember well.
Finally, you really do not need to inform me about your activities, as you know I receive a full weekly report.  Simply express thanks.
I remain
your Mistress


  1. The deciphering the letter was for me rather heavy but two things are mysterious for me in connection with this postcard. (The largest trouble was it is not possible to copy the handwriting and properly to enlarge)

    1. The address was on the other side of postcards before with 120 years sometime they may have returned to this ancient practice in this institute during the times but why the place of the stamp was left on the anterior side then?

    2. The text is quite meaningless already as much I deciphered it of him, as if the author would have imitated it but how may be grammatical error for this case?

  2. Thanks a lot the letter is understandable like this already in right.

    The note and the negotiating with the two other mistresses (“rattan” and “gelly”) do not hold out hopes of the “boarder” servitor being on holiday in that institute for much good one. I found only 7 crossing out in the letter anyway, the plus one not good sign!

  3. Your hotel stay sounds a little like spending time at my old resort , Servitor..).

    Here's one of my letters


    I'm having a fulfilling and productive time here at Hotel De Correctional. Thank you for ensuring I received a lengthy stay. The female staff are very attentive to detail and ensure I'm busy at all times.It's best not to bother them with requests. Yesterday I learned how to sew mailbags and scrub floors efficietly and there's a basic gym here which I use three time daily. The staff provide me with clothing (which is informal and the same as all the other guys are wearing -the black slip on sneakers and bright yellow shirt and shorts are comfortable) I must admit the staff did laugh when I came here wearing my shirt and tie. I wear identificatiion at all time (you know how confusion sometimes occurs in theses foreign countries and the meals are adequate..The watchwords at this hotel are respect, discipline and hard work which you always told me were good values.I've just been talking to a nice guy called Servitor whose misstress kindly arranged for him to stay here too!

    I look forward to being with you within the next 36 months
    Your servant

  4. Thank you, Mr X. I'm sure you'll find the arrangements to your satisfaction. But if you do have any complaints, be sure to tell the guards - they'd love to hear your views, and they'll definitely sort it out immediately.

  5. Well I did remark to one of the guards "ma'am..this food is cold" and she rewarded my attention to detail by making my busy day more productive - I have quite a lot of these rocks to break. See you for compulsory PT later,Servitor..)