Now, first of all I’d like to apologise once more for this dreadful mix-up. We do everything possible to avoid mistakes, but it’s a big hospital carrying out hundreds of operations every day, and this sort of thing will happen from time to time. We’ve had a preliminary investigation, and it seems the medical staff weren’t at fault at all – it did say penectomy on your admission papers. It must have been some kind of typo at the admission stage. Nobody’s fault really, just one of those unfortunate things.
The good news is that of course we want to offer you compensation. This will be without any admission of liability, and you’ll have to sign a form saying you requested this operation voluntarily.
Oh - and I forgot to mention the best news of all! Although of course we admit no liability, the hospital wants to offer you a 10% discount off the tonsilectomy you were actually supposed to have! And the same surgeon insists on carrying it out! No really. She says it's the least she can do, after inconveniencing you so much in this way.