Thursday, May 2, 2013

A love beyond price

Oh darling, you’ll never guess what happened today when you were out at the interview.  The strangest thing!
That man came round – the one we met in the market the other day.  He’s called Reshad.
Anyway, he just came to the door, so I invited him in for coffee.  I thought it was a bit creepy at first – you know, maybe he was interested in me.  But he’s not.  Not at all.  Do you know what?
He’s interested in you!
No, really.  He said you have a perfect rose-bud mouth, if you can imagine!
Anyway, of course I laughed and said you were spoken for.  And do you know what?  He offered me money!  I was laughing, and saying ‘no, no’ – you know, making a joke of it.  But I think he was serious.  Apparently, slavery is legal in his country and he has a place way out in the desert where he keeps all these men.  Well, as slaves!  Isn’t that just the weirdest thing!  He was offering $350,000 by the end.  Imagine!  That would pay off all our loans in one go.  Actually, it would leave us $165,000 over, even if we paid off everything.  He must be really rich.
Anyway, he was very persistent.  Wouldn’t take no for an answer!  So I said I’d think about it – just to get him to go away, you know.  And he straightaway said he’d come back this evening with his two brothers and a van. And he said he’d have the money in cash – now what was it he said in that funny accent of his?  Oh yes – he said “not that $350,000 peanuts bullshit! But proper money.”  I don't suppose he will, though.
He must be so rich.  Imagine being able to pay $350,000 just like that!  Or even more!
I mean obviously you’re worth a lot more than $350,000!  Oh - I don’t mean I’d ever be tempted!  I mean, really!  Even for that much money.  Or even more.  Anyway, it’s barbarous, keeping people as slaves.  I shudder to think about what they’d have to do to you to make you use your little rose-bud mouth on them!  You’re not at all like that, are you? 
I mean if you wanted to try it that would be different.  But you don’t want to try being a sex slave in the desert, do you?  Do you?
No, I didn’t think so.  Well, I expect he was probably just joking anyway.
Anyway, how did the interview go?  Do you think they'll give you the job?
Aww...poor baby.  Never mind.  I'm sure something will turn up, sooner or later.
Don't forget to drink up your milk, darling!  I got it specially for you.  Drink up every last drop.  Down it goes!  That’s right.


  1. Sounds like there's going to be lots of "milk" in somebody's rose-bud mouth...

  2. Another great story, Servitor.A lifetime of servitude in the desert will be hard but I'm sure your wife will visit and pass (hmiliating..) comment on your new role!