Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Taking his name

Oh – there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you, about the wedding.  You see,  Alan and I have agreed that I’ll take his surname, when I’m his wife.  So your brand will be wrong – I’ll be EMR, not EMW.  We’re going to have you have you branded again.
Yes, I know.  If it’s any consolation, I think it’s a bit unnecessary too.  When I told Alan your branded initials would be wrong, I was really just making a light-hearted comment.  I didn’t think he’d insist on changing them.  But you know what he’s like.


Yes, that’s the problem.  I mean, you just can’t brand a R over a W.  It wouldn’t look right.  I tried on paper, and it just always looked really forced.  So we’ll burn a blank over to erase your old one completely, and then have EMR freshly branded underneath.

Sure – you’ll have a kind of blank rectangle burnt into your skin.  But that’s OK.  Alan doesn’t mind.  The main thing is you'll have your new brand just under.

Oh stop crying.  You’re lucky you’re not getting EMR-W!  That would be even more painful, wouldn't it?  I’d suggested hyphenating our last names.  But Alan’s a bit old fashioned.  Doesn’t really believe in feminism.  So, I'll be EMR, and it'll say that on my credit cards and my passport - and on your left buttock.  Actually, I'm kind of glad he insisted.  It makes me feel very secure, as if by carrying his name around with me I'm holding his hand.  I know it's not very feminist, but I'm just not a very feminist girl, really.  Alan's made me realise that.    That’s one of the reasons I love him, actually.

What?  No, of course we can't do EMW-R!  Alan got cross enough when I suggested hyphenating with his name first!  He's not going to have you branded with my initial first, is he?  Honestly, you can be so insensitive sometimes! 
You're getting away lightly at the moment, anyway, you know.  I’m just waiting for him to realise that all our property belongs to both of us.  If he does, maybe he’ll want his initials on you too.  But he hasn’t said anything yet, so fingers crossed – OK?  Just our little secret. I know it really hurts, so I don't want you to have to face any more irons than absolutely necessary, OK?

Sure.  I won't say a thing.

Oh - and Alan left some shirts to be ironed - and he wants his shoes polished.  Something else to get used to, I guess!  It's going to be strange for you, having a man to run around after as well as me.  Strange for both of us - I'll have to get used to not being the only one in charge.  You know he's already offered to spank you, if I'm too tired some time?


  1. Like.

    A little gay, but in a forced, good way.

    1. Well, indeed.

      And - despite my dismissive reply to the other Mr A (unless you're the same Mr A and a bit confused about your sexuality) - I am fully heterosexual and actually find gay male sex a completely disgusting image. While fully supporting the right of gay men to do whatever they want to one another, of course. It takes all sorts. Hey - some people probably find the idea of being dressed as a maid and forced to clean toilets with a brush-gag weird, you know? And it's that very disgust and dislike that makes its threat (at the instigation of a member of the superior sex, naturally) such a thrilling turn-on.

      Or - to put it much more concisely - A little gay, but in a forced, good way.

  2. The name is important!
    (even if it hurts)

    1. Exactly. She's just concerned to show her new husband how much she loves him; that she was serious when she made the commitment that her acceptance of him entails. His happiness and his concerns are important to her - she'll be his wife, after all. I think that's worth a few moments screaming in agony and terror under a red hot brand, hmm?