Sunday, August 27, 2017

Phone protocol

Lovemachine Serviceline, I’m Karen, how can I help?

It’s to do with your sexbot?  OK.  Is there a problem?

No?  Oh.  If there’s no problem then why did you…?

You just want to tell me how wonderful your sexbot is?  Everything about her is perfect?  OK sir.  Well, that’s very nice. Now, if you don’t mind, I’ll – 

She’s a series 5800?  Wow.  Top of the range, huh? No wonder you’re so pleased with her.

'She’s beautiful and you’re a lucky man even to be granted the privilege of licking her boots?'  Oh..kay.  I think maybe I’m getting the idea.  Can you tell me which programme you’re running?

Domina Deborah”?  I see.  And you're running that right now, I take it?  How’s that been going?

You have been ‘lucky enough to be granted the honour of serving her and being corrected for your many faults’.  Ooh. You had the setting all the way up to 10, didn’t you?  

What's that?  Yes, I imagine you would have to be grateful.  Very grateful indeed.  I've seen the specs for the programme.  She's not an easy lady to please, is she?  

OK, well it's easy enough to fix.  There's  a small switch behind her ear, so if you reach up, you can - 

'You're not allowed to raise your head above her knee height'?  Yeah, OK, I can see that would be difficult.  Can you try just reaching up and -

Ooh - that sounded nasty!  Are you all right?

Yes, I suppose you are 'a very lucky boy to have such a beautiful Mistress play close attention to you', aren't you?  Sounds like you're going to need the reset safeword before she pays you so much attention you lose consciousness.

The reset safeword.

You did create a reset safeword before running the programme?

No?  Why don't you men ever read instructions?  Then you’re a very silly boy, aren’t you? Are you going to ask me nicely for the default reset safeword?

No, more nicely than that.  Call me Mistress Karen.

Well that’s not a very nice word is it? I don’t think Domina Deborah is going to like that.  Hello?



Oh well.  Cos if you’d asked really nicely, I could even have done a remote reset.  But you didn’t. So I won’t.

Lovemachine Serviceline.  I’m Karen, how can I help?


  1. Level 10 and no Safe Word?
    Obviously this fellow had a deep psychological need to be punished and humiliated for a long, long time.
    So here's to hoping it is all very cathartic for everyone involved.

    1. Either that or he is very, very stupid.

      In which case, his being removed from too much active control over the environment we all share might be no bad thing, too.

      Still, eventually I suppose - after a few months of unpaid bills - the electricity will be cut off and then what's left of him will be free again. Possibly rather wiser.

  2. Here is an actual news story about sex robots being hacked and killing us.
    I only wish it was about them spanking us instead.

    1. People stealing my ideas again!