Wednesday, April 3, 2013


Oh hi!  You're Paul, right?  From IT?  I'm Jane.  I guess I'm the "boss" in this part of the company!  Oh, but just call me Jane - we're very informal around here!

Look - we're really grateful that you've come to help us out, OK?  I mean I know you're all so busy down there, with stuff.  Fixing things... brilliant!

But we've got such an important meeting tomorrow - really important clients, right? - and I saw you give that presentation in Head Office last month and I just knew you'd be perfect for it!  So I asked Karen, and -

Which one?  Do you give a lot of presentations?  Oh!  Well, you have to send me invites to them.  I only saw the one - but you were great.  It was the one about computers.  Something about a... network, was it?  It was brilliant, anyway!  And I just thought - that's what we need for next Wednesday!  The clients will love it.  And Wednesday's tomorrow now... and here you are!  Brilliant

Hmmm?  Yes, yes that topic would be fine.  Computers...networks...all that.  They're very interested in that stuff.  They've got lots of computers. I mean, it's a bank so they're bound to, aren't they?

Oh!  One little thing.  Silly really.  Erm... you were wearing these, mmmm, white trousers?  Not quite sure what sort...I'd recognise them again if I see them.  They were...quite tight.  Really tight actually!  Anyway, I thought that was very effective.  Really helped to...well, the audience could see you very clearly.  I certainly could.  Do you think you could, erm...wear them tomorrow?  Hmm?  That be OK?

No...not quite sure what brand they were.  Do you have a lot of pairs of tight white trousers?  Oh.  Well, that's good, isn't it?  Tell you what - bring all three pairs in tomorrow morning and we'll see which works best, OK?  Great!  We can have a little fashion show!  Right here.

Slides?  What do you mean, slides?  Oh PowerPoint slides!  Yes, definitely.  Got to have slides.  PowerPoint's brilliant, isn't it?  And then we can darken the rest of the room, so it's like you're just there in a spotlight...all in white.

No, I know.  Not all in white.  But the trousers are.

Oh...there was a little thing you did.  At one point you dropped all your notes, and you sort of bent over and picked them up for a bit?  And you looked kind of humiliated and embarassed as you did it?  That was quite effective too, I thought.  Really got the audience's attention.  Put them at ease... An accident?  Was it really?  Oh.  Well, you know if you were to do it 'by accident' tomorrow, I'm sure the client would like it.  Possibly several times.

Great.  Well, I think we're all set, then.  The client arrives at about 4pm, and we'll go straight into the meeting.  No you don't have to be there for that bit - that's the serious business of the day.  Then we'll talk to her a bit about the joint venture (you don't need to worry about all that - boring old financy things!)  then when that's all agreed we'll have your presentation at the end of the afternoon!  Deal all done, down go the lights, onto the stage goes Paul and it's all about...internet protocols for the rest of the afternoon!  Great!

Oh, is 'internet protocols' different from 'networks'?  OK, well either really.  Gosh aren't you clever - knowing about both!

Anyway, I expect we'll all go off for a drink or something afterwards.  You should come along.  She'd like that.

Brilliant.  Look - tell Karen I owe her one for this, all right?

Oh wow.  You really call her "Miss Oldfield"?  Oh, that is cute!  Look - forget what I said about calling me Jane, OK?  You can just call me Miss Summers tomorrow, OK?  In front of the client.  I'd like that.  I'd really like that! could call me "Boss".

Go on - just for me.  Say "OK, boss!"



  1. I can see that the boring old IT section will be one of the last preserves of the nerdy male. They at least can almost compete with the superior sex. Perhaps she could make sure that he spills something during his presentation. Something all over his tight white formerly translucent now see through white trousers.

    I am sure the seems will stand up to all that bending even after the heavy lunch he will be forced to eat whilst he provides charming company for the guest.


  2. Well...of course, women can and should do IT, too.

    The problem is, that if all of the jobs migrate to the sex that is more competent, there will be nothing left for males to do. Some female dominants have cleverly and helpfully created 'make-work' schemes, usually centred around housework, for example by making men do the ironing with handcuffs on - that sort of thing. The opposite of 'labour saving' household equipment.

    I suspect this will become more common. So, for example, some simple household product such as a vibrator might be manufactured mainly in clean, sterile automated facilities supervised by a few well-paid females, but a few minor parts might be made using vast amounts of hard physical (male) labour, working fourteen hour shifts in a massive old-fashioned factory. Also supervised by a few well paid females. You know - to make the boys feel useful!

  3. You see how kind they are. Males doing all work and no play makes Jackie a happy woman. males need to be kept busy in case they get into mischief.

  4. wow, brilliant! I like it a lot!