The other was me and I'm a boy

Never quite sure what The Who were complaining about in that song. Looks to me like an idyllic childhood.

You can earn free hair grips and stuff when you spend money too - pretty cool, huh?

She tries so hard... but usually fails.

That's a bit unfair.  I once told my SO that I could do any job a woman can do, so she arranged an internshp at a brothel, giving blow-jobs to oil rig workers on shore leave. To be honest, I wasn't quite as good at it as the girls but I had plenty of clients once they priced me at a 95% discount.

Yeah, how about it Dave?  Equal pay for equal work.  Stand up for yourself and be a man, for once.  Or 'you go, girl!'.  Whatever.

Our pillory's my special place.  I can spend hours at a time in there, not really doing anything in particular, you know?

Women beat their men

Animals watch beyond the fire.

Don't worry, they're quite uncomfortable for her too, so this part of the session shouldn't last more than 45 minutes or so.

I'd scream for Keira, nightly if she wanted me to.

Well, I hope it's still summer, if we're going to play outside again.

They have lots of good ideas for taking all the hard work out of BDSM too - or at least, making someone else do it.

Must be nice not to have to worry about limits and all that nonsense.

Women seem wicked when you're unwanted

...and isn't that great?  Warning: safe for work video after the link.

But what if he never gets to like it?  Hmm.  Not sure she's thought this one through.

 

Don't even ask what the chicken mask is for. A magician never gives up her secrets.

 
 

Well, he wasn't treated exactly like that, obviously.  Dommes tend to keep their places heated quite well, for one thing, in my experience.

It's actually much harder playing 'guess the object that's been shoved up the slave's anus' in a single-domme session.  Because then you have to do the guessing and 'hmmm... it's definitely something that really hurts' doesn't narrow it down much.

Perhaps he should discuss it with his wife.  Or perhaps she should, directly.

Mistress of arts

Women, eh? You can't just straight-out discuss something, she has to set up the whole situation just right to 'discuss it'. Oh well.  Better humour her.

That's a very wide hole. Still, maybe there are some guys who need that.  Not jealous...

Phew.  That could have gone quite badly.  Remember the time you bought that fur coat in the wrong shade of silver?

I wonder if in the years to come, he'll regret not having signed more forms?  After all, it's not going to be easy to sign anything, when she's done with him.

 This of course is the sweet and kindly Mistress Jo, of Cruella and British Institution fame.  She's just a softie really.

That's something we've seen a lot of this year - this contemptuous attitude to 'experts'.  She could easily double the efficiency of the plant by not sitting on it, for example, but you just try telling her that...

Subjugated

Ah... reminds me of my collaring ceremony.  It happened right here, actually, not three feet away from where I am crouching right now.

I'm very aware of sexism in the workplace, being one of the more inferior members of the inferior gender.

I don't understand men who send women pictures of their penises.  I mean, it's just asking for trouble.  Like waving a raw steak in front of a hungry leopard.

On the plus side, his steel tube is a lot bigger than mine or yours.

You say "Yes, please".

Begging her pardon

I'm ready for a fuck, too.  Have been for several years, now.  Oh well.

If they win this one, they'll be up against the winners of the boys school competition, in the final.  I think they'll probably give the boys quite a hard time, don't you?

Aww... sweet.

 This is from the excellent Men are Slaves site, which in addition to the pay site identified on the photo, has a remarkably generous tumblr with free samples.

You only live once, I say.

She could try asking him after the session.

Not just the Pink Panther scene

Before we start, here's a bit of found femdom that I haven't seen anywhere else. You remember Valerie Leon, the lady from the Pink Panther movie (yes you do, it was probably one of your formative sexual experiences, right?  Pervert.)

That's not the found femdom, everyone knows about that.  (Oh yes you do! Stop lying.).  

Anyway, an advertising agency in the 1970s obviously thought that the male submissive market was an underexploited market for aftershave so... this.  And this. Maybe others, I don't know.

I imagine it was rather effective.  Thinking about the typical British aftershave from the 70s and 80s, I think it's a fair bet that if you splashed it on liberally before visiting a domme, she'd give you a pretty memorable session.  Possibly using a bullwhip from the maximum distance.

Thought you'd like to know.  

On we go...

Oh no, not again.  Honestly, it's like that story's following me around.

Well, at least two of them like pain a lot. If he really insists, perhaps they could hold a vote.

Yes, you don't want to cause ofence to religious people.  This blog certanly never does that, except perhaps to the poor evangelical guy who had a Christian blog of the same name... sorry about that, mate.

I hate it when the legs get caught between my teeth.  Don't you hate that?

hmm?  wha?

The latest femdom captions

Apologies for the dull title.  But I have noticed that by far the highest viewing figures on this blog are for posts with titles like "More femdom captions".  Anyway, I'm running out of 80s lyrics...

Nothing like hot coffee to wake you up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's a living.

 

 

 

Yes.  I've been quite disappointed, just how open-minded many of my friends have been about my SO beating me.  "About time too" was the usual comment.

 

 

 

She means it about the running.  Don't you dare dawdle.

 

 

Like many men of kink, I do find I have to pay for most of my fantasies to be acted out. However, I think I can honestly say that all of my unpaid sexual encounters have turned into really strong humiliation sessions, one way or another. I guess I'm just lucky like that.

She is looking good, for beauty we will pay

In fact, some of us have to.  Music is mostly unrelated.

 

Because he knows there are things much worse than a good hard kick to the balls.

The forceful, talented and literary Mistress Miranda, another lady who has had the misfortune to encounter Servitor in the quivering, unimpressive flesh.

 

It's all very well to be carried away with love at first sight, but can you build a lasting relationship with a pair of sports shoes, when fashion in sneakers is so fickle?

 

 

 

 

OK, not the sexiest of topics.  But if you don't know, you can't imagine. Really: if you're a pain-slut you should be trying to develop a good set of them.

 

 

 

Punishment fits the crime... tightly and closely.

 

 

You replied "I do" and that was the occasion when a safeword might have been advisable instead. Too late now.

Gynophilia/gynophobia

The love of women and the fear of women.  I have both conditions.

Hmmm... She's merely disappointed, not repulsed. I'll consider that as progress.

 

 

It's a sacred bond - or a device for getting the housework done, depending on whether your finger's on the button.

 

 

Don't worry: he's very professional.  You can be tied tightly naked over his trestle, and no matter how horny he's feeling, you won't have a thing to worry about. Well, except the savage beating you're about to receive, obviously.

 

 

...and she does mean everywhere.

 

She'll track them down. She's very persistent. Anyway, can't have feral males running about the place can we?