Think of all the fun I've missed

Oh, you can wait, surely?  So selfish...

Males often don't listen properly to women.  The best thing, I find, when discussing something important, is to concentrate 100% on listening, not speaking.  That way, there's less danger of a painful misunderstanding.

Accessorise! 

I wouldn't say 'peaked' exactly.  It continued to rise for a bit, then fell off a cliff, so to speak.

Christmas Special tomorrow on Contemplating the Divine!  What's special about it?  Oh, well - the captions are all about Christmas!  Like this one, y'know... not that special, I suppose.  But then who among us is, apart from the ladies obviously?

Heroine addiction

 

My SO says I'm a sore loser and I indeed, I usually am.

 

 

She'll forget, so why shouldn't he?

 

She's shortly to embark on an exciting project to test the effect of repeated applications on saliva on shoe-leather, just as soon as she secures the funding.

I've been declared mentally incapable - physically too, come to think of it - by many women, but never formally.

She seems very relaxed about the thought of all that jerking-off.  I suppose it made her and Patty a lot of money... but it's not as if they deliberately encourage it, is it?  Oh look, here's a short clip from the second movie.  Just put it on repeat if it's not quite long enough for you.

 

Painfully accurate

Thank goodness for that. Generally, this blog disapproves of the use of painkillers on men - just seems wrong and counterproductive, somehow - but this could be an exception.

It's for her book club. They're meeting here this week, I think - you still OK to serve the snacks?

Just goes to show it's not all about the money.

Oooh... romantic evening ahead!

Angghwagh Mughwough!

Contemplating the Devine

Impressively, one of the top search terms from visitors to this blog is a spelling mistake.  So this is a special post to celebrate the tens of thousands of pageviews by 'readers' who cannot spell the word 'divine'. 

Welcome, guys (I think we can safely assume the gender balance of this particular sample swings heavily male). Just thought I should give you a shout out...you've been slowly typing the wrong word into Google for so many years now.  Yay!  Morons.

I'm aware of course that many of my 'readers' may not be native English speakers, so calling these people morons is unnecessarily insulting and might not be entirely fair.  But - DUH! - this is a blog for males who enjoy being unnecesarily insulted and treated unfairly - remember?  Morons.

Hey, guys, you know you should try booking a schoolboy session with one of those severe English schoolteacher dommes some time?  You'd be really good at it. Take some cold cream for the journey home.  

On with the devine imiges...

Oooh!  'Not as bad as it just conceivably might have been'?  Wow, that's the nicest thing any woman's ever said to me after sex.  Usually, they just say something along the lines of "Sorry - would you mind moving a bit further down the carriage?". which I find very hurtful.

Males don't really need lobotomies, truth be told.  Still, if it makes the little woman happy, you might as well let her have her way, hmm?

In the end, she just went for a more direct approach.

Yum.

Whimper.

That would be funny...

... if it weren't so sad.

Actually, there's a perfectly simple explanation. Just tell her you're a pervert.

You can get quite sweaty dressed up like that.  Hope the other guests have brought plenty of liquids.

Hee hee. Brad might think he's her favourite lover, but she doesn't put the spotty socks on for him, does she?  I know where her true affections lie.  Anyway, better get on with it, there's ironing to do (yum!).

Very true. We each have our special skill. Mine is 'incompetence'.

Blubbolow fllabbo ploh?

Outnumbered

Mens lib is fine in theory, but someone has to lick out the ashtrays, don't they?  So I don't see how it could ever work in practice.   

They don't aprove of modern fads. Actually, there are lots of things they don't approve of.  As you'll discover.

Everyone makes little mistakes when they start out.  No real harm done.

 The parts of the dommes in this little tale were played by two dommes, by an odd coincidence.  The extraordinarily wonderful (as I can personally attest) Lady Sophia Black  and Ms Morigan Hel, whom I briefly met once before Ms Sophia dragged me away, and is probably equally but differently extraordinarily wonderful.

Don't worry - he's not a real schoolboy.  And that's not really his mother.  And the person on the left who seems to be an attractive young blonde lady in a doctor's coat is actually a 57 year-old computer scientist from Gujurat called Deepak.  Femdom porn... it's all fake, really, isn't it?

Time to explain to them that you're not into that, I suggest.

The quality of mercy

Much more important than the quantity.  Don't you think?  Worth waiting for.  At least, I assume it will be.


Anyway, while I randomly gibber over here, condemn yourselves to eternal damnation by feasting your eyes - and any other parts of your body that need sustainance - on these captioned images of female domination.

I'm not really myself into foot worship.  But I do love pics of dommes looking bored.  And foot pics are definitely the place to go for that. I mean, isn't it a bit, well... tedious for the domme?  No? Slobber slobber...for hours on end.  But hey - I respect your choice of fetish, OK?  Me, I hate it when She makes me worship Her feet.  I get really uncomfortable.  Oh, but I love hating it like that.

There was a tense period when it looked as though she would have to produce a body to get the funds released, but just when she'd got the suicide note written, her lawyer found a precedent for a fast declaration without.  Phew!  She still has the note, of course.  Just in case.

It's always funny when she starts.  They think she means chew them a bit and they mostly get turned on by the humiliation, you know?  Then they find out that she does actually mean eat them - and it is really hard to eat a pair of trainers.  Good news, though - it's a lot easier than having Madame Sarka annoyed with you.  So eat up.



Hmmm.  This looks fun.  I wonder if she has anything special she does before getting you off?



You weren't expecting a multiple orgasm, surely?  Once is plenty.  Actually, many ladies think once is too much and who am I to argue?