Tuesday, December 10, 2013
It’s so cool to see the two of you again, after all these years. So -while she's stepped out of the room, how are things between you and Fiona? Hey? Still great? You were always, like, this perfect couple?
Yeah? Does she? Yeah I did notice you were quite quiet around her. Well, she was always quite bossy. I guess you knew that when you married her.
Oh – I’m sure it’s not as bad as that! Lots of couples have rules. And it’s not like you were ever going to be the one in charge in this marriage, is it? Not with Fuhrer Fiona in charge! That’s what we used to call her at school.
Doe she? Wow.
But you were into that anyway, weren’t you? I remember, when we were together, you were always asking me to smack your bottom, or tie you up. That’s one of the reasons we split up… I like the man to be in charge. I think you’re really lucky to have found someone else who’s into it. I’m sure she doesn’t beat you that hard.
Does she? Wow. Well, I don’t know anything about that stuff. But you look OK to me. You’ve lost weight, for one thing. You look good.
Oh don’t be ridiculous! How could I help you 'escape’! You’re not a prisoner here. I’m sure you could leave any time you wanted!
What? Oh good grief! Nobody’s a ‘slave’ any more. I mean, not really. I think the two of you are just going through a bad patch, that’s all. And the kinky sex thing is just making it a bit more complicated. But I expect you’ll work it out.
Oh dear. Now I've upset you. Look - stop crying, I'll help if I can, OK?
Well maybe I could talk to her about how you’re feeling, and -
Oh calm down! Stop panicking! I’m her oldest friend, I know how to tell her things.
Anyway, here she comes now. Don’t worry. I won’t tell her directly, but maybe tonight when we’ve had a few drinks I’ll just let on that you told me you’re a bit unhappy with her, OK? I’m sure she’ll be fine with it. Then the two of you can start working through your differences after I've gone.
Shhh! Not a word!