Friday, June 10, 2016

What women like

So many books about that topic, discussions on the Internet... 

But I've learnt a trick about pleasing women which I find works almost every time. The secret is not to put your own sexual needs first, you see.  Many women are quite pleasantly surprised if you don't insist on sex.  Just hand over the money in an envelope and leave. 

After all, you can always masturbate later, jerking off to pictures on the Internet, alone in your squalid little room.  While she gets on with her life.

Frequent flyers get extra benefits, including staying behind for an hour after landing to clean the whole aircraft.

Her birthday's in eleven days time. She doesn't like too much fat on her boys, you see, but you should be nice and thin for her by then.

You can actually fry them up still attached for maximum freshness, but many people think that's going a bit too far.

Looks like someone hasn't been following Servitor's rules for making women happy! Remember - always leave straight after paying. Or if you've booked with a credit card through an escort service, just tell them it's OK if she doesn't turn up.  Trust me: she'll love it.

Plenty more where that came from, so come on - get it down.

PS - as some of you might know, Blogger provides stats on where the traffic is coming from*.  Mostly Femdom Resource, Google and my Tumblr site, but it also tells you which searches on Google led people here.  Now, normally these are fairly obvious things involving femdom and bootlicking and suchlike wholesome matters**, but this morning we had: "kellogg's frosted mini wheats original, 24 ounce box" and "Brita water filter replacement cartridge".

Woah.  There are some things that are just too kinky even for me.  Take your weird grocery obsessions elsewhere, OK guys?   Let's try to keep it clean here.

* no, stop worrying, it doesn't tell me anything about who you are. Except you, Tom from the US.  Oh - and you too, Mr Collins from the UK.

** and "contemplating the devine" with depressing frequency. Use a dictionary if you're not sure, you stupid males!  That's not even a word, OK?


  1. "Except you, Tom from the US."


    I just clicked a link and it got directed here, I have no idea how.

    But while you're looking at odd searches, here's a couple from this week that led to mine.

    sever femdommes spanking
    (more visitors who can't spell)

    can male chastity belts masturbation addiction
    (I like to verb my sentences, but for some people it is optional)

    my wife wears strap on 24/7
    (that's got to cause some chafing, no?)

    voluptuous arabic women
    (I have no idea why)

    1. Sometimes the Internet just decides to send you where you need to be, Tom, rather than where you thought you wanted to be. They designed it that way.

      Had to share this one, just arived today, Unlike the others, it makes perfect sense. I just like to imagine the disappointment of the sissy humiliation fetishist on the first go, beofre he put in the final negative term:

      tutu humiliating -desmond

  2. I wonder how many searching for your blog end up on cereal or water filtering related sites and what confusion that might cause. like erm....? well i don't know but it might.

    1. They could end up accidentally masturbating for hours, when obviously what they meant to do was look for cereal and clean water. Obviously.

      Actually, I'm thinking I ought to build something in for the cereal and water filter fetishists too... I mean, TKINMK, but different strokes, y'know?

      Maybe a cereal box with the end just teasingly ripped open, not enough - not quite enough - to shake it out into the bowl. Then we see an elegantly manicured hand, firmly gripping the sculpted white handle of a Brita water filter and oh so slowly moving to drench the helplessly awaiting cereal, still trapped in its packet, with cool, fresh and refreshing filtered water...

      Do you know, I'm actually getting quite into this...

  3. ".......which I find works almost every time." How many times have you tried? :P

    1. Once, Ma'am. And it didn't work. So, indeed: I find it works almost every time.