Friday, March 8, 2013

Love and marriage

Oh yes, I’d forgotten you haven’t been here since I had that put in.  Don’t you recognise it?  It’s George – you know, my husband!  Well, what’s left of him.

Oh yes, he’s still my husband.  We’re just waiting for the divorce papers to come through.  That’s why I had him fixed there, to remind me.
It is clever, isn’t it?  Yes, they were able to amputate the arms and legs all the way up to the joints.  Because I was afraid that they’d leave little stumps or something, and he’d be able to waggle them a bit.  Wouldn’t that be disgusting?  But no, they’ve done it very neatly.  Just a torso.  Perfect.

No, he can’t move his neck either.  The doctors attached a steel bar running right down his spine, you see, and it goes all the way into his skull.  He can’t move nod or turn his head at all – not even a millimetre.  And his jaw’s wired up, of course.  Sorry about the silly little grin, but they needed to keep it a little open, for feeding purposes.  But they removed his teeth and his tongue, of course.  And his vocal chords.
Hmmm?  Oh trust you to notice that!  Yes, I did decide to leave them on.  Of course, I was really tempted to have him castrated – they even said I could do it myself.  But I thought it might be more fun if they were still there, you know?  I do enjoy playing with them, after all.  It’s amazing how well they’ve lasted really, after all I’ve done to them.  They can take a lot more punishment than you think, actually.  I’ve even set them on fire a few times, but there are still some nerve endings left.  Look – I’ll show you.  There!  See how his breathing gets much faster when I push this pin into it?  And then if I wiggle it about I – yes, you see?  Plenty of nerve endings still.

Oh yes, I don’t think I’ll keep him much after the divorce papers come through. Should be any day now.  And then maybe I’ll just stop feeding and watering him – and put him outside by the trash.  Unless you’d like to…?  No?  I just thought I’d offer, seeing as the two of you were an item back in college, that’s all.  No problem: I’ll deal with it.

Yes, he can still use his eyes.  Apart from his lungs, I suppose they're the only other muscles he can still move.  See – look at how he’s watching us?  Oh – isn’t that sweet?  He’s crying.  He seemed to have stopped doing that a few weeks back, but maybe seeing you reminds him of his old life or something.  Maybe he thinks you’ll save him?  Hard to know what he’s thinking really.  But I do like him still to be able to see me, so I know he’s thinking about what I’m doing to him.  I’ll probably put them out before I finally get rid of him, of course.

Oh clever you!  No, I suppose he doesn’t need both eyes.  I hadn’t thought of that!  Why don’t we do one of them right now?  I don’t suppose you have a cigarette on you, do you?  You do?  Oh wonderful – that’ll be perfect.  I gave up just over a year ago, you know.  But maybe I could…I mean just one wouldn’t hurt, would it?  And then maybe we could both stub them out at the same time.  Shall we do the right or the left, do you think?

Mmmm….  Oh god, this is wonderful.  I’d forgotten how much I loved smoking.  You shouldn’t have let me have it, you naughty girl!  Oh never mind, though.  Mmmm….lovely.  Well, when I finish this one, I’ll stub it out, and that’ll be that.
I think the left one…don’t you?
It’s funny, you know.  He always disapproved of my smoking.  He was so pleased when I gave up.  Said watching me stub the last one out was the best day of his life.  Didn’t you, darling?  Well, you’ll certainly be watching very closely when I stub this one out. Very closely indeed...

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