Thursday, May 1, 2014

Advice to a novice sub

As a well-respected member of the BDSM community, I am often asked questions by novices to the scene.  These are usually along the lines of "Why are your captions so fuckin' lame, loser?", but just occasionally someone requests my advice.  And of course, I am always happy to oblige. 

Naturally, all my experiences in the scene have involved paying pro-dommes - it's not as if anyone's going to spend much time in my sweaty presence unless they're well compensated for it! But within this very limited sphere I have, I think, acquired some expertise - I might almost go so far as to say wisdom.  And I am very happy now to share some of these insights with you, my loyal readership.

So, without further wittering: some advice to a novice sub.  In the form of captions.  Obviously.


The ladies featuring so beautifully, and misleadingly, in this post were (from the top):

Divine Mistress Heather
A lovely lady from Schoolmistress Fantasy
Lady Sophia Black
Mistress Eleise de Lacey
Mistress Darla (now retired I understand, but here from The English Mansion)
Miss Jessica Wood (who - you can be quite sure - most definitely wood not!).


  1. With a bank holiday coming up there is the inevitable advertising for barbecues. I think this lad is going to be providing sustenance however small for the Ladies at the barbecue he attends.


    1. They do say that the presentation of the food is as important as the taste.

  2. Lady on the staircase with gloves is supermodel Kate Moss - the wanking picture I cut out of a newspaper a few years ago says- Body blow models with a Body Mass index below 18 have been shunned by Madrids fashion week gurus. Kate Moss above with a BMI 15.7, is considered too thin to be 'in'. Madrid gurus obviously don't wank in front of the pictures?

    1. I think you might have got a bit over excited, there, Bob, as you're commenting on the wrong post. Goodnesssake, man, you're a disgrace to the English nation your name evokes. Try to get a grip, won't you? (oo-er, sounds a bit rude!). Oh - and pull those trousers up.

  3. What the hell? Are you trying to get some poor sub beaten to death? ;-)