Friday, September 27, 2013

The divine


"Actually, I have a weird story about that.  I got an email once from a guy called Servitor who has some sort of kinky sex blog all about whips and chains and stuff.  Anyway, he said he worshipped me as a goddess!  Really worshipped.  And he asked for a signed photo, so he could kneel and pray before it each day.  Well, I was in a funny mood, so I thought OK, I might as well make one little life a bit less sad, so I sent one to him.  I didn't sign it but I wrote a note with it to say that when he knelt in prayer to it, he had to kneel on broken glass every day, as a penance for his sins.
Hmm?  Oh I don't know.  Like I said, I was in a kind of funny mood.
And then about a week later, he sent me a picture of him doing it!  Actually doing it!  Can you imagine?  And his knees were all bloody and…eurgh.   He called me ‘Mistress Anne’ and begged for permission to stop.  Said he could hardly walk!
Weird huh?
Oh no, I didn’t reply.  I mean, that’s how you get stalkers.  Actually, I gave his picture to my security guys, just in case.
Hmmm?  No, that was a couple of years ago now.

Yes, I suppose he could still be doing it.  Wouldn’t that be freaky?  Maybe I should tell my security people to watch out for a guy hobbling along on crutches.

There are some real weirdos out there, aren’t there?

So, let me tell you about my new movie..."

Wednesday, September 25, 2013


Servitor worshipfully presents a triptych of Strict Miss Zoe*.  That's a piece of art - usually with a religious theme, as here - in three parts**.  Did you know that?  Now you do.


* Strict Miss Zoe can be found at, among a few other places.  And she can be found, and met, in England, and I have, and she is just lovely.  Such a sweet, fun and friendly person.  Well, and very painful too, obviously.  In an adorable way.

** It should really go across to be a proper triptych, actually. And fold out. But it doesn't. I bet that's just spoiled the whole thing for you, right?

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Turning points

A bit of a change of pace today.  As regular readers will know, Contemplating the Divine is not known for subtlety.  Most of the reprehensible material posted here depicts femdom situations that are brutal, non-consensual and occasionally anatomically impossible (click here).

So, let's try something different for a change.  These are captions that are NOT about female domination.  Not yet.  Each presents the very moment at which a vanilla relationship just might take a more flavourful turn.  And then there's a choice to be made: your choice.  The red pill or the blue.  Donna can turn left or right.  Sure, the choice you make in this situation could lead eventually to life in slavery...but it doesn't have to.  Turning points.



Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Crying behind the tears

Never mind.  They can't spend the whole two weeks discussing your sexual inadequacies, now can they?

And you can play out 'small penis humiliation' scenes even more effectively!  You like SPH, right?

Plenty of time.  Brain damage sets in quite quickly, but it's a few minutes after that before any vital organs are affected.

Male servitude
Well, she seems very determined.  Just as well, at those hourly rates.

This is of course, the divine Eleise de Lacy, of Femme Fatale fame.  Wonderful lady, wonderful site. 

Divine contemplation
Time to pull out that faded old copy of the pre-nup and refresh your memory about some of the other terms she insisted on putting in.  I'm fairly sure many of the more painful ones are illegal, though - maybe you could have a word with the learned lady from the previous picture?

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

La belle dame sans merci

More images of female domination, captioned ones.

Nazi dominatrix oh my
Just scream to let them know when it's back on, would you?

If I want to keep those stats up, I guess I'm going to have to start offering housework tips here...

Mmm...well, that was fun.  Schoolboy session next month - four hours in detention writing lines, wasn't it?  Something to look forward to.

Men - being crude and ignorant - need to train themselves to watch out for these subtle clues.  Or women need to train them.

Yes.  Then they'll definitely be gay.  And married!

Friday, September 6, 2013

The dignity of labour

Hi honey!

Listen – I was talking to my accountant the other day, and I was telling him all about how humiliated you feel, out of work all this time, and entirely dependent on me – and he –

- Oh don’t be silly. I don’t have secrets from my accountant! -
Anyway – he had the most brilliant idea! He said, why don’t I set up a company and employ you! I mean, I can easily afford it. I get paid more money for one day’s filming than you used to earn in a year, after all! It’s nothing to me, really. Just loose change.

Hmm? Oh I don’t know, it doesn’t really matter what you do, does it? He said he could run up some meaningless forms, and you can spend the day filling them in or something.

And he’s found an office across town where you can do it. Quite a way off – you’ll be commuting for a few hours each day. Just like having a real job! Isn’t that exciting?

Oh no, too late to pull out now. He’s already bought the office block. It was just a few millions, and apparently there’s some kind of tax dodge so it doesn’t really cost me anything.

And he’s already found someone we can pay to be your boss. Hmmmm? Oh, I don’t know. Some awful sweaty old guy, I think. He’ll be on your case all the time, apparently. That way, it’ll feel more like you’re really earning your money, won’t it?

So – you’ll have your own money, and you won’t have to depend on me for everything! Won’t that be great? Minimum wage, of course, but we’ll get a performance management system set up, so maybe you can earn bonuses and promotions for working extra hard – that kind of thing.
Of course you can still live here, sweetie! But I’m going to charge you rent!  So you'll feel really independent and self-sufficient.  And I'll tell the maids to stop cleaning your room.

But I still get to buy you presents, OK? You’ll let me do that?

Great. Maybe I can keep on choosing your clothes, just like now. I like doing that.
Hmm? No, you don’t need to buy new clothes for the job. You have a cute little uniform. It says “Hathaway Enterprises” on it. Isn’t that sweet?

And if there's ever anything you really want to buy - that you can't afford - you can always ask.  You know that don't you?  It's not as if the money means anything to me, but for you it'll be a big deal, now you're paying for yourself, won't it?  So maybe when I do buy you things, now they'll be that much more special!

Oh, no, don't worry about that, darling!  Like I said - it's really just pocket change for me!  If I just do one more commerical in Japan, or something like that, apparently it's enough to employ you 9-5 every day for the next ten years!  Isn't that amazing?  So don't worry about the money - I know it seems like a lot to you, but it's nothing for me, nothing at all.  The important thing is that we need to build up your self-respect!  That's all that matters!

Just think how proud you'll feel in a year's time, if you've worked hard and I give you a pay rise!

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Servitor's handy hints for safe bdsm play #182

This week's handy hint: safewords!  After this picture!

Now, here's someone who looks like he's going to need a really good safeword.  Let's see how he gets on, shall we?  We'll check back on him at the end of the blog post.
Here we go with Servitor's top ten words or phrases that are unsuitable to use as safewords:
10.  More please
9.  Eyjafjallajökull (unless you're Icelandic, in which case Vanhankaupunginselkä will do just as well)
8.  I hardly felt that.
7.  That was great, Mistress.  Now I just need a blow job to finish me off!  I'll pay you extra, if it's a good one.
6.  (your bank account details)
(top 5 after the picture)

Listen: whatever safeword you choose, don't be like this silly old fool and forget what it is, OK?  It might seem a bit of a chore to learn it carefully, but really, when you're screaming the place down and begging for mercy for the last half hour of your session, you'll wish you'd repeated it to yourself just once or twice more.  You know?
5. How can a clam cram in a clean cream can?  (but you have to pronounce it right)
4.  కష్టం నాకు విప్
3. It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.  However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters.
2. I think you should stop, you're not doing it right.  My last domme was much better.
...number one after the picture (you're getting the idea, right?)

Now here's an interesting situation. Can there be any doubt that the only acceptable safeword for the bottom to choose here is "Ninety, thank You Mistress"?

...and the number one winner, with more than twice as many votes as the next most unsuitable is...
...wait for it...
1.  Bitch
There we are.  Just another handy hint from Servitor.  Annoying the hell out of dommes, so you don't have to.  Testing No. 1 was pretty damn painful I can tell you, but it's all part of the service.
Let's see how our young test subject got on, shall we?  Did he choose a good safeword?


Oh dear. Better keep checking in with Servitor's handy hints!

Oh - one last thing!  Remember, readers, never - ever - confuse anything you read on Contemplating the Divine with serious bdsm advice.  OK?  Play safely now!