Forceful females, meek males

Oh dear.  You had one job... Well, OK, you had several jobs if you count all the chores and you even had two jobs at a time during the spit-roasting bit but you know what I mean.

It's their 'rattan' anniversary.

Maybe she should.  I hope she makes her mind up quickly rather than dithering about it... odd, because she's usually very decisive.

 

The extra said yes - well, of course he did - but sadly the scene was cut from the movie.  He has developed quite a successful career though and has now had several minor speaking roles.  He was "Squeaky-voiced guy in elevator" in one of the recent Marvel movies, for instance.

 

 

 

It's the way she tells them.

 

 

 

 

Leaders of men

Girls can play so rough....

 

 

 

If it helps you bear the discomfort, today's actually the best day because from tomorrow there'll be sand in it too.  Not deliberately, but you know how it gets everywhere.

 

 

 

 

She's not going to bother asking him what he thinks his biggest flaw is.  Anyway, that's for her to decide.

 

Her eyes are up there.  And they're looking into your soul.

 

 

 

 

You can see yourself out.

 

 

Heroine addiction

 

My SO says I'm a sore loser and I indeed, I usually am.

 

 

She'll forget, so why shouldn't he?

 

She's shortly to embark on an exciting project to test the effect of repeated applications on saliva on shoe-leather, just as soon as she secures the funding.

I've been declared mentally incapable - physically too, come to think of it - by many women, but never formally.

She seems very relaxed about the thought of all that jerking-off.  I suppose it made her and Patty a lot of money... but it's not as if they deliberately encourage it, is it?  Oh look, here's a short clip from the second movie.  Just put it on repeat if it's not quite long enough for you.

 

Who loves the sun?

I do!  After a miserable rainy May, we now have bright sunshine chez elle (i.e. where I live) and I thought I'd do a sun-drenched special to celebrate summer's balmy days. Admittedly, I myself haven't yet seen the sun, as there are no windows in the part of the house where I live (not a problem, of course - after all, what would be the point, this far underground?).  But she's promised to break out the summer sweaters and the heavy rubber gimp suit, to take me out into the garden this weekend to where the treadmill awaits, bathed in sunshine.  So that'll be a nice change.  I've also just booked a romantic stay for two at a beach resort for later in the summer, but I wont divulge the details as she hasn't decided which boyfriend to take with her.  They get so jealous - especially a certain old bull I won't name! *

Anyway, here we are: summery captions.

 

 

I doubt that.  I have actually become quite good at accurately judging women's weight. But sometimes you have to tell them little white lies - bless them. The number of times I've had to control my breathing carefully to say 'no, no - light as a feather!' without gasping...

 

 

It's great.  Yeah.  I'm getting quite good at never having any sexy thoughts at all, as long-term readers of this blog will know only too well.

 

 

Oh... don't mind me.

 

She likes long walks in the country, getting caught in the rain and keeping up with the latest developments in applied metallurgy.

 

Actually, I brought a spare myself.  I always do, just in case.  I mean, imagine how awful it would be to run into Gal by chance and not have a leather belt or similar implement on you... a lifetime of regret would await.

* Regular readers shouldn't worry.  There'll always be a place for Raoul in her heart - and in her vagina, mouth and anus, too of course.

Impertinent features

 

The clever bit of the trick isn't how she stubs the cigarette out, it's how she has persuaded you to accept it - and even pay for the privilege.

The lovely Miss Zoe, who once gave me an unforgettable cuddle after a particularly hard spanking.

 

 

Gal wouldn't need to lasso me to make me tell her the truth.  But she's very welcome to do so anyway.

 

 

 

They say it gets easier after a year or two, so just keep going.

 

Ah, I'd forgotten that I'd done this one, when discussing precisely this situation on Paltego's blog.

Women will only be truly free when every male is enslaved.  It's sad that it has to be that way but... oh, hang on, it's not sad at all, is it?

Decadence: time for birthday spankings

Ten years today.  Good grief. 

Here are some of my favourite ever captioned images.  In general, when there's one I am really pleased with, it is because the words and photo go together perfectly.  Either because the lady's expression seems just right - in that, once you've read the caption you can imagine she's saying that, or even be unable to imagine she could be saying anything else - or just because the caption picks up some quirk in the scene.

Other people might like other ones.  Or stories.  But I adore each and every one of the ones below, so I won't comment further.

And, of course....

 

... and...

...and finally, what my Tumblr stats suggest is the most popular captioned image I have ever done.  Which is quite heartening, as it's not some fetish scene with latex-clad blondes (delightful though those are), but simply this:

 

 

 

So here's to the next ten years.  Starting tomorrow with a bonus post of new stuff, to make up for all this recycled trash we've had over the last few days.