Friday, September 28, 2018

It gives me a sense of enormous well-being

Know what I mean?  Warning: vanilla video after link that has nothing to do with femdom and is thoroughly safe for work. Do not click if that sort of thing offends you.

And they say sex offenders have nothing to contribute to society!

... and don't even think about the matinee on Saturday...

It's particularly cheap for fit young men, if they let her do it without any anaesthetic.

When I was a teenager I used to have this dread that girls would be turned off by my very small penis and would refuse to have sex with me.  Silly really, now I look back on it.  The very first girl I ever went out with explained that penis size is just irrelevant - for someone with a face as ugly as mine and such an tedious personality.  So that was a relief.

It's completely irrational to be scared of spiders. Spiders can't really hurt you*. Girls, yes: they can hurt you**.  Be scared of girls.  But not spiders.
*    Except in Australia
**  Especially in Australia.

Tuesday, September 25, 2018

Would you lace my shoe?


I think she might secretly be seeing another man. That or she's engaged a cleaning service. Bad news, either way.

But I don't have speaking privileges with Kate just now.  This doesn't seem fair...

Maybe you could be more specific, next time you're feeling horny - in about three weeks' time or so.

I think teenagers should take on responsibilities - for household chores, for example. My step-daughter's been supervising the way I clean her room and make her bed for over a year now, and she's done a really thorough job.  We're thinking of giving her responsibility for the way I do her laundry and ironing too.

Amen. The original of course is here.

Friday, September 21, 2018

Blonde justice

The truth can hurt, sometimes.

They asked Nurse Jenkins to perform the procedure.  She's a pain management specialist, you see.  She's very good at it.

If you do want to discuss it with your father-in-law, you'll have to wait until he's finished his corner time.

Well, I hope someone's consented to this. Otherwise, I find the whole thing a bit unethical.

Mistress Eleise can lead me into temptation any time She likes.

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Menial: (adj), relating to men, e.g. 'menial tasks'

A 2% productivity boost from employing an intern for nothing?  I think the shareholders are going to like those numbers - so open wide and don't spill a drop.

And then we'll discuss office attire - she has some ideas for him on that.

Surprisingly, given the efforts they've put into his training, poochie does not always do exactly as he's told.

Almost anything you like.

That's actually a joke: no woman has ever fallen asleep while having sexual intercourse with me. There just isn't time.  Or opportunity.

Saturday, September 15, 2018

Sweet tooth


Now Eleanor, you simply must have a pinch of this sugar in your tea. You see, it’s very special.

You remember that sub I had – Charles? I used to call him pissbreath. He was an investment banker – and he was as stinking rich as his pissy breath, too.  Anyway, I had this medical student staying with me one summer – lovely girl from the Caribbean – and for some reason she got interested in his ancestry, and guess what? It turns out his family used to own several of her relatives as slavesMmm!  Back in the eighteenth century. Had them shipped over to Barbados for the sugar plantations, you know.  Basis of Charles’s family fortune although you won’t read about that in Who’s Who!

Well, of course as soon as I found out about it, I said that she simply must take him home with her in chains. I mean, I didn't mind - no shortage of devoted subs wanting to worship at our feet, is there?  So I'm afraid I rather insisted - I mean, it's only right, isn't it?  She was a little reluctant at first (and you know, I suppose it is understandable to be a bit funny about slavery with a family history like that, isn't it?  But it’s not really the same, after all) but she soon came round and we faked his death, collected all his lovely cash and shipped him off in irons.

Her family still work a sugar plantation, although apparently it’s all modern now. Anyway, they set up this little corner just like it was when his ancestors used to run it and they make him work all day on a chain in the hot sun. He absolutely hates every second of it, she tells me - nearly managed to escape once!  Goodness only knows what he'd have told the authorities  - I wonder if they'd have been sympathetic?  Fortunately they got him back and they hobbled him by cutting half his foot off. Oh - and they branded him too. Several times, I understand, with their own family initials. Such fun!

Of course, even with all the whipping, he doesn’t make much sugar on his own.  But they sent me this little packet as a thank-you all the same – wasn’t that lovely?  Honestly, I was a little cross at first - I mean, I'd only just managed to get myself strictly onto the sweeteners.  They never really taste the same, though, do they? Anyway, I decided as long as I go out on my morning ride each day, it won't do any harm to treat myself to a quarter-spoonful in my Darjeeling, when I get back.  

That reminds me, actually, I’m pretty sure your Nigel’s people were out East, weren't they? Now, it wasn't tea, was it... they were something in Malaya, weren’t they?  Rubber tappers or whatever the word was. Maybe that’s why he’s so obsessed with wearing the stuff.  Do you fancy looking them up on the Google thing? I’m sure Pippa's friend Zaheera would love to have a crack at a pair of colonialist buttocks with a good old fashioned malacca cane. She’s frightfully progressive!

Friday, September 14, 2018

Negative feedback

It's the only sort I get.

Interestingly, adult babies and other submissive employees are explicitly excluded from the provisions of the staff handbook relating to discrimination, bullying and abuse.

It also means she has two boxes of chocolates to throw away instead of one.

The rest of the room is decorated in the same style.

Many men would pay a lot of money for that sort of experience.  Not all their money, as he will, admittedly. But a lot.

Phew.  I was beginning to think I was going to have to get through this alone.  Talking about how sexually frustrated I feel, with a bunch of other men, is going to help a lot.

Tuesday, September 11, 2018

The wrongs of man

Power drill play... not for everyone, obviously.  Just for you.

Despite the harsh look of the place, it's actually more an institution for rehabilitation and education, rather than punishment as such. Of course, it all hurts, but there's a purpose to it, that's all I'm saying.

I don't see why funerals have to be sad. I want my own funeral to be a joyous occasion, and when I told my SO that, She laughed and said it almost certainly would be.

See - and you were complaining about her fucking other men!  All square now, right?

More fun than a trireme: you get to jog along the road in the fresh air.

Friday, September 7, 2018

Drama. Queens.


I once asked my SO for a public humiliation session.  So She made me start a blog in which I had to publish all my sick, dark and bleak fantasies from my miserable life. It's going quite well.

You could try telling her that your 'trophy' is barely worth collecting.

They're going to be discussing mens' rights quite extensively, I understand.

Don't worry - they're not going to throw them all at your face.  Pretty soon, they'll move on to other parts of your body.

Tuesday, September 4, 2018

Slap me on the patio

I'll take it now.  

There must be lots of things you can do to take your mind off sex.  Do some laundry maybe... or watch TV.  The women's tennis final is on, I understand.  That should be exciting.  Or beach volleyball.  Anyway, it's only for a few weeks, right?

My SO can be quite hard to please.  I found it a bit dispiriting at first but then I learned about this technique for lowering the expectations you set yourself?  So now I just aim for 'Not totally furious with me' and I hit that at least two days out of three, so that's pretty good.

Unlike some human women, though, they won't insist on going again while you're still completely drained from the last time.

I took a personality test once.  Apparently I don't have one.

Don't worry, she's obviously not going to drain you to an empty husk all in one go. Look at that figure - she probably limits herself to a couple of pints of blood a day.  You might even last a week.