Thursday, January 26, 2012

Happy birthday to me!

January 26th!  Australia Day!  On this day...

Benjamin Franklin suggested the turkey should become America's national symbol in 1784!  Michigan joined the USA in 1837!  California was declared a disaster area in 1969 (yes, it was as late as that).  President Clinton said "I did not have sexual relations with that woman" in 1998 (Oh Bill, there are some ladies here who could teach you what the meaning of the word "is", is). 

...and in 2011, Contemplating the Divine came dribbling messily onto the Internet scene, its first post daringly starting with the declaration "Well, I don't know why you're here."  And it's been downhill ever since.

Of course, in those early days we didn't have the captioning technology we have today. The letters had to be positioned behind the posing ladies by hand, and sometimes would look a bit shaky, especially in Madame Sarka's shoots, as she tends to get a bit tetchy if kept waiting for more than about six seconds or so.

But soon the blog found its stride, and in April 2011 was to achieve its greatest success when Anne Hathaway was persuaded to act in a heavy CBT-focused femdom movie lasting 18 minutes.  That video was downloaded from the site over four million times, and became a massive Internet meme.  Sadly, legal action forced the owners of the blog to remove it, so I'm afraid the moment when Anne smiles sweetly and tosses her hair before tightening the Kali's teeth bracelet around the engorging member of the frantically struggling slave can no longer be found here.  But I expect you've all downloaded copies, and can enjoy it at your leisure.  And if not, you'll just have to be sexually frustrated, which I expect you'll enjoy just as much.  Perverts.

Although the "Jane Austen femdom" post was a huge hit in April,  the "Chaucer's Canterbury Tales femdom" follow up was less well-received, and the project to femdomize all of the major works of English literature in any case had to be put on hold because Servitor had to write lines instead.

Then in the latter half of the year, Contemplating the Divine became stale and repetitive, an object of derision and contempt, kept alive only by tired and jaded viewers of porn, checking in once or twice to see if any of the stolen pictures were any good, and not too obscured by witless, formulaic captions.  And so, bleeding and scarred, but too stupid to give up, the blog reaches its first birthday.

Contemplating the Divine - "still not as good as it used to be and it never was"

For those new to the blog, some examples of the content from my review of the whole first year.  So you don't have to.


from Beauty and the Beast

“So if your true love kisses you before the last petal falls, you resume your true form as a handsome prince? gasped Belle, staring at the wilting rose.

“Yes” replied the hapless beast.

“One kiss and all of this castle and kingdom will be restored as it was before I was enchanted, and I will assume the throne. But if the petal falls first, I remain a beast for ever, without even the power of speech that I have now.”

The two gazed at the rose, in its glass case. Having perhaps been disturbed by their footsteps on entering the room, the last petal drooped gently down, hanging on to the stem by the merest thread.

“A beast for ever…” murmured Belle, absent-mindedly stroking the collar and leash that she held in her hand.

She started tapping the glass case gently with the end of her riding crop.

“But still rich, right?”








4.  Set aside some time every week just to talk.
Make sure it's a time when neither of you are rushed, when you can just take as long as you need for your relationship.





January 2012

So there we are.

...166 posts, 684 uploaded images, one piece of sevice helpfully carried out for Ms Suzanne, far too many obscene and insulting captions superimposed on images of elegant, heart-stoppingly beautiful actresses who would simply be horrified if they found out.  And still no bandicoots.

Contemplating the Divine... the blog that licks up and swallows its own mess.  What a year.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Taken firmly in hand

Oh dream on...

Other world kingdom Gusrdesses go a huntin
The only thing worse than not being found by Madame Sarka and Madame Jana is being found by Madame Sarka and Madame Jana.

Domestic whipping scene - ahh
That's because women have more complicated brains and can multitask. When she's hanging you up by your nipples - to take an example at random - you might just be thinking, 'Oh my God, the pain, I can't take it' but she's probably thinking about lots of things - what to plant in the garden, whether she really wants to meet her friends than night, all kinds of stuff.

She doesn't want to have to asshook him
She's really doing this for you, you know.

Beaten sensible
Don't worry, you won't have to wait long.


Thursday, January 19, 2012

Sticks and stones will break my bones

and they have done on occasion when she got a bit carried away.

But words can never hurt me.  I sometimes beg my Significant Other to think up humiliating nicknames and insults for me, but she always says she can't think of anything more degrading she could call me than my real name.  It's odd, because she's very creative in other areas of BDSM.

Two dommes no chance
Best just to go with it.  If you really find it's not what you were looking for, you can always try asking for your money back at the end.

Starvation rations
I wonder which one it was.  I guess we'll never know. Still, he'll have been properly whipped, and if another three got whipped as well, I'm sure it won't have done them any lasting harm.

POV with domme
No, not down here.  Up there.

Masochism is not a syndrome
Interestingly, there's a scale for measuring self-esteem, and it's only since she started this programme that the theoretical prediction that it could go negative has been demonstrated in reality.

Businesswoman dominates
You thought it might be rather embarassing working in the same office as her, again.  Guess what?  It will be.

Monday, January 16, 2012

When sorry is the hardest word to say

or at least, as hard as any other word except "NNNNggghh!  NNNnngghh!  NNghh  nnngghh NNNGGHHHH!"

Femdom lesbian suffocation oh my!
Don't worry, it's not like they're going to kill you. Just inflict permanent brain damage. 

Caned when required
She's working to make this marriage a success - maybe you could give a little too?  Y'know, occasionally hand her the cane and bend over even without an order?  It's those little things that matter.

She's always been playful. There was the time she made him grind his own face in dogshit only to discover it was a trick: fake poo.  And that other time, when it wasn't.

Cruel heartless domme - whats not to love?
I think she looks cold.  Don't you think she looks cold?  I've been looking at all that exposed flesh for a while, and I'm pretty sure she looks cold.  Especially the buttocks...and those long, firm thighs, and...

Tart with a heart?
I should point out that this is just a work of fiction on my part.  I have never, ever paid a prostiute for sex.  They always hand the money back when we get undressed, and say they're not in the mood.  Of course, I respect their decision but what are the odds, eh?  Seven ladies in a row!  Just my luck.

Friday, January 13, 2012

I hold these truths to be self-evident

...all Men are created equally servile, that they are endowed by their nature with certain inalienable duties, that among these are service, slavery and the pursuit of degradation. That to ensure these duties, Women's rule is instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the inadequacies of the governed.

From the 93rd amendment to the US constitution, 2064.

Long time to wait.  Here's something for now.

Richard thought of "Mistress Initiating Loving Flagellation".  Sadly, that was almost twelve hours later, when he was lying face-down in his bed, desperately waiting for exhustion to overwhelm the burning pain. 

Arachnophobic masochists Google bomb here!
It's called Juliephobia.  Fear of Julie.  It's actually quite rational.

Not as sorry as he's going to be
Apologising can make you feel good.  But not in this case, obviously.  Not until a long time after.

They have smaller brains
It's true, ladies, so don't hold back.  Not only are our brains smaller, but 95% of their volume is given over to thinking about you, so there's really little capacity left for anything else.  Might as well fill it with pain.

And small dicks too
Actually, almost everything in that book is made up.  That party she threw at the sushi bar for all three ex-girlfriends where they exchanged stories about your sexual performance, and paid a prostitute to pretend to pick you up, then scream with laughter and steal your clothes?  No way.  It was in a regular steakhouse.  See - there's loads of stuff like that.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Delightful power

Overdue whipping
Two or three days at least.

Hot bondage blokes
Oddly enough, a few nights later his life took a turn very significantly for the worse.  Just goes to show that you should be thankful for what you have - for example, he's not screaming silently in agony into a thick gag.

Dominatrix tasks
She's perfect, so why shouldn't she expect his work to be?

Balls on ice
That joke copyright Emo Philips.
I loved the first snowfall of the year.  My heart would leap when I saw the soft white flakes covering the ground, and I'd jump up and I'd run to the front door, and shout "Remember the deal!  Let me in now!".

Metric penis humiliation
Women eh?  Obsessed with penis size.  My Significant Other seems to bring the subject up every single day. And I just don't think it's appropriate, on a crowded commuter train.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Please, sorry and thank you

Oh please, oh please, no more, I can't, I just can't...I'm sorry!  I'm so, so sorry, and I -


Thank you, Sarah!  Thank you for beating me!

Oh no, oh please, please Sarah, for pity's sake don't, I...


Three little words.  But so important, don't you think?

Consensual lobotomy
Fortunately, some important brain functions remain completely unharmed - the pain receptors, for example.

Simply beaten
No imagination.  You'd think she'd get bored with it after the thirtieth blow, the thirtieth desperate shriek, the thirtieth angry weal of brutalised flesh.  But no...

She looks so unhappy!  Dommes shouldn't be unhappy.  Still, they can always ensure they're not the unhappiest person in the room.

Domme willpower
Wow.  You could be getting a multiple orgasm here - more than once in one year, that is.

Big penis humiliation
It's a perfect match.  He likes eating food, but he's no good at cookery.  He likes to look smart but he hates ironing.  He gets quite moody, and sometimes you need a good kicking.  Made for each other.

Crush fetish right here right now
Later she bought the movie, but it was all a bit disappointing.  He was just one of quite a few actors in it.  There is one scene when you catch a glimpse of his face, screaming in terror, but it's only for a second or so, then a boot gets in the way and the screaming abruptly stops.  Later on, there's a longer shot of something being scraped into a waste disposal unit, and she thought that was probably him, but it was very hard to be sure.