Tuesday, March 29, 2016


Really? Oh my god!  That must have been, like, so embarrassing!  Hey - you know, the same thing happened to my brother?  When he was 15?  Mom walked in just when he was… well, actually you know, just when he was finishing if you know what I mean!  And he couldn’t stop so it happened right there in front of her!

Yeah. He was pretty embarassed about that!
Mom was kinda strict too. Especially about that kind of stuff.  She paddled him so hard he could hardly sit down for days.  Made him read out the bits of the bible about the 'sin of Onan' while she did it.

Yeah?  Your mom paddled you too?  What, with a big wooden paddle?  Ooooh – that must have hurt.

So when did all this happen?

About 25 minutes ago?




I just…I dunno, thought maybe it was when you were a teenager or something… and, erm…

Hey!  You know, what I just suddenly remembered?  I can’t go tonight! I promised my friend Becky I’d help her with her hair.  I am so sorry!

What?  ‘Where does Becky live’?  Oh… well, hey, where do you live?

OK.  It’s right the other direction from there.

I hope you liked that.  I just wanted to warn regular readers that the next posting, due on Friday, is going to be a bit of a change of theme for this blog, as it will feature female submission.  Obviously, that's not something that everyone who reads Contemplating the Divine will be into, so I just wanted to warn you as I don't want to offend anyone.  Maybe it's a mid-life crisis, maybe it's something else, but it's just a theme I feel I want to explore at this stage in my sexual journey and I've tried my hand a few captioned images.  Anyway, if you're broadminded enough, come along and see what you think!


Friday, March 25, 2016

Controlling promiscuity after hours

Shame they never made a video for that one

The Stranglers, of course.  Who are also famous for a lyric about a woman's clitares*... which one day I will work into a caption as an extremely bad pun**.

But today, we have a scholastic focus.

It's always worth negotiating.

Oh well.  Adult life was fun while it lasted, I guess.

Hmmm.  Might have to review her salary after a while.

But when does the blow job happen?

Well, if she can't be bothered to get the details right, then what's the point, eh?  I mean, really!  I'd have a word with her about it, but I'm still very bruised from last time.

*  No, actually it doesn't mean that.  Just go and look it up for yourself, OK?  Honestly, do I have to provide a link for everything?

** I haven't actually thought up the pun yet.  But I think we can confidently predict it will indeed be extremely bad.

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Sympathy for his untimely loss

Did you know there are supposed to be five stages of grieving when you lose something precious?  These five, specifically.

Friday, March 18, 2016

Mean and nasty and pretty and horrible

Or pinches any other parts for that matter. Ouch.  Only eight hours to go, though...

Yes, that should work.  I certainly wouldn't expect many erections any time soon, anyway.

They're very nice shoes too.

If you want to get to know her better, you could try joining her reading circle.

My SO and I are agreed that wearing fur is cruel. That's why she wears so much of it.

(Yup, same old anti-Vietnam littering-based protest song, Steve.  But I'm hoping no one will notice the repetition.)

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

There's something she forgot to say to you

Celebrate the conscious liberation of the female state!

The company has a very strict policy agaimst sexual harassment too.  So don't worry about that. If you're groped, or propositioned or demeaned in any way, you can complain to your boss, right then and there.

Hmm.  Looks like he's going to be spending a lot of time bent over the the engine, today.

She might have her own list of course.

Nope.  No hangups there.  None whatsoever. I have five years of blog postings to prove it.

Female liberation. Quite the best sort.

Friday, March 11, 2016

Tales of shame and degradation

Kinky and socially useful at the same time!  What's not to like?

Better be worth it... I need those fingers for my everyday sex life.

He did mind.  But she didn't.

Oh well. Live and learn.

Don't diss housework simulators.  After a hard day's ironing, there's nothing I like better than to relax with SimLaundry 3.  I'm about to earn the 10,000 pleated skirt achievement.

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Back down Memory Silnice

Recently, while down in the cellar (basement to you Americans), I was nearing the end of a long weekend scrubbing away at the walls with a toothbrush (it's bit of a funny story how I found myself doing that, actually - remind me to tell you some time) when I noticed in an old cardboard box another file full of interviews* with those lovely Sublime Ladies from the Other World Kingdom.  So, as soon as the walls were clean enough for my chain to be lengthened sufficiently to allow me to come upstairs again, I scanned the ones featuring Madame Katarina and I'm now uploading them for you to wank over enjoy.

Now of course, OWK is lost in the pages of history, but in our hearts it will never die.  What matter it, if - 

- what's that you say? 'Shut up and get on with the pictures of Madame Katarina, Servitor, you prat'?  Oh. OK, then.

 ...and in a postscript, with a written comment by the interviewer in handwriting too shaky to read:

* regular 'readers' will recognise this as the latest in one of the least popular series on the blog: OWK memories.

Friday, March 4, 2016

Since love is blind, then from the mind, all womankind should rout them.

... because she hates men.

It's nice when newlyweds have pet names for each other.  But 'bully' just isn't appropriate.  'Boss' is a good one - he could try that, maybe?

I'm glad she's taking precautions because some itching powders can be really nasty.  But see those gloves?  That's safe BDSM play.  She'll be fine. 

Oh - stop worrying!  They're not going to starve to death or anything!  This blog can't abide excessively violent scenes, you know that.  No: they'll die of thirst long before they starve.

Let's hope this one turns out better than the previous 117.  But if not, that's valuable knowledge too.  Science: it's all about reproducibility of the results.

Very lightly.  Safe, sane, consensual - remember?

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Going solo

OK, now pull the strap through the other buckle – should be tight but not uncomfortable – and then double it back to snap closed.  Should be riding quite nicely on your hips, so that when you thrust you can really put your pelvic muscles into it.  

Now the dildo itself should be resting firmly in its holder there, just resting comfortably on your pelvic bone, yeah?  And to take it out and fit a different attachment, we actually have to remove the strap completely from one leg. It's a basic safety precaution - see, this way you can thrust back and the dildo will come straight out again.  Easy enough with a simple dildo like this, but the ones with heavy knobs or arrowhead ends can take some pulling to come out and it's good to know it's not suddenly going to pop away from the harness or anything.

Got it? Right – so we do the safety checklist, just like I taught you.  Left buckle, right buckle… and the emergency release should hang free just on the left.

Then you check my rig and I'll check yours.  Always safety first.

OK, so you’re all set.

Now this is high-quality strap-on equipment.  It’s certified for mouth and anus – and vaginal penetration for that matter, but obviously we won’t be doing that today.  We’ll be taking it slowly at first, and we’re going to try a number of different positions and speeds. Then when you’ve got the hang of the basics, we’ll try some accessories too.

Don't worry about breaking any of the equipment, OK?  It's all very strong.  If you're thrusting and you feel something suddenly give it'll almost certainly not be the equipment as long as you've fastened the buckles properly. Usually it'll be something inside the boy that's breaking when that happens. Or in principle it could be the straps holding him down, but don't worry, the harness this one's in is strong and flexible, so we won't be having any problems like that.

Obviously with a paying customer, you’d normally only be thrusting for a few minutes – ten at most.  But we've got all afternoon, so we'll be doing a lot more than that. We'll explore different thrusts, the different internal organs you might come across in the course of deep penetration, overcoming gagging reflexes - all of that. So by the end of the afternoon you’ll actually have had as much experience in the harness as you might in twenty or thirty real sessions. If you find yourself getting tired and want to take a break, just let me know, OK?  Depending on what we're doing, we can either exercise a withdrawal, or we can just unstrap with the penetration still in place, and take a bit of a break.  It's no problem.  I've developed really strong pelvic muscles, so I could go at full rape pace all day and I probably wouldn't get tired.  But it can be a bit tiring your first few times.

That's right - just let him lube you a bit with saliva.  For a paying customer we'd use a lot of KY but here we're just using a light coating, so that's quite useful.  

And we’ll practice a few emergency procedures too.  Rectal wall rupture, asphyxiation during an oral session... That kind of thing.  Incredibly unlikely to happen, but if it ever does occur with a paying client, you want to have practiced it before.

All set? OK, well I’m going to move to the rear and just show you a standard seven inch rough pounding.  Then you can copy me, and if it’s going fine I’ll move to the front and we'll go into a full spit-roast.  Once that's all ready and we're both fully in we'll try a see-saw.  That's when I thrust  -and you should feel the boy's body pushing hard against you from the pressure down his throat, but don't back off, OK?  Then when you feel me ease off you thrust forward good and hard, so he's under pressure from the other end before he's had a chance to recover.  Sounds complicated, but I'm sure you'll get the hang of it.