Saturday, July 30, 2016

Advice to a novice sissy maid

It's been ages since we had any posts with Servitor's tips for novice subs. So long, in fact, that many of you probably have no idea what I'm even talking about, in which case you should educate yourselves by clicking here and also here.  How can you expect to enjoy this blog if you haven't done all the reading, hmm?

I am of course more experienced at visiting professional dominatrices than ever now.  In fact, I understand there are even forums on the Internet where dommes can share my mobile number and email, to put me on a 'don't call' blacklist.  Ah... they love to play hard to get, the cunning little minxes!  But I have my ways of oozing past their defences.

But it's not all about my pleasure, and I like to share the wisdom, so here once again are some top tips for a novice submissive. This time, it's a sissy maid special!  If you're planning to book a sissy maid session, make sure you read all of these first, OK?  You might even find it helpful to write each out 200 times.  You naughty girl.  Oooh!

That was very British.  I'm sure American and other readers can supply appropriate geographic equivalents of the East End and industrial North, if need be.  Brooklyn, maybe?  'Chavvy' translates more or less to 'trailer trash'.

Oh - and an extra tip?  If you're permitted to reach orgasm at the end of your maid's session and you make a mess, don't worry.  She understands that you won't feel like doing any more cleaning, once you're no longer feeling sexy.  She'll clean it up after you're gone.

IMPORTANT advice warning!

The information on this blog is of a general nature.

It does not take your specific needs or circumstances into consideration, so you should look at your own financial position, pain threshold and courage before acting upon any of the advice presented here.  Contemplating the Divine is not responsible for any injury or loss of life and propery resulting from any such action.  Sissy maids should always bear in mind that stocks are inherently risky, and that hours spent locked into one can result in severe discomfort.

Friday, July 29, 2016

I beg to differ

But I'm never allowed to, so I don't really know why I bother.

On we go ...

At first, she used to follow the approach of other dommes; in trying to put first-time clients at their ease.  Reassure them that nothing too bad would happen, you know?  But then she decided one day it was just too dishonest.

Relationships can take many different forms.  You'd be surprised how many stable partnerships are based on a solid foundation of contempt and abuse.  Works for me.

Maybe you could ask about the oral sex later.  Still worth a try, surely?

Actually, in my opinion, equality between the sexes is a very bad idea.  But I'm posting this caption anyway, in the spirit of recognising that my opinion is of no importance whatsoever.

Like I said, relationships can take many forms.  'Husband', 'lover', 'piss-slave to lesbian couple' - they're all just different words for the same thing, fundamentally, don't you agree?

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Domesticated bliss

Actually: confession time. I, servitor, am not actually into femdom at all. It's all a cruel punishment perpetrated upon me by an evil woman who forces me to spend hours each week scouring the internet for pictures of ladies in leather boots, or holding canes - which don't excite me at all! - and write silly captions on them. Oh, the torment.

Well, these things matter, y'know?  Sure, Kurt's main priority right now is to spend the night fucking your wife like a piledriver.  But in the morning, he's going to want a nice fresh pair of briefs to pull over his aching cock, amiright?

My SO, a few of her friends and I played this game with a tattoo pen once.  Goodness, we laughed!  Some of us.

Would it be to make a banana smoothie?

Cultural norms can vary a lot, even within the same country. At the office where I work, for example, I'm allowed on the furniture and to drink water without asking permission.

Friday, July 22, 2016


It's good to live in a comunity united around a shared interest.

Her feelings matter, remember.  A lot.

I'd reach for 'Polite dissenting opinion No 1' but 'we' decided to remove it from the approved list.

It's a good idea to wear a lot of pink, to avoid being mistaken for a feral male. Ferals hate wearing pink - especially frilly lacy things.

Aww... sweet.  My own SO asked me how I'd like her to remember me and I suggested an alarm on her phone, every month when it's time to change the straw. It's working out pretty well.

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Final edits

So, Mr Poole, we’re all really excited here about your novel.  It’s going to be huge – absolutely huge.  It just… well, it just speaks to that kind of nameless angst we all have, you know?  Draws you in from the very first page. Brilliant.

Anyway, hope you won’t take this amiss, but it’s my job to make a few suggestions about style, here and there?  Just – you know – in a first novel it’s often hard to judge just what the reader will find in something you wrote.

I mean, I have very little to suggest on this one, obviously. I don’t want to interfere with your distinctive voice.  But there were a few passages where I felt you could convey your meaning a bit, well, a bit more succinctly…

Like what? Oh, well… erm… when Peter first sees Julie, at the concert.  I mean, it’s brilliant, obviously, that scene.  It’s like you’ve taken a photograph of Julie as he sees her and you’re just playing it into the reader’s mind a few lines at a time from the very top… her hair, her necklace, her top, her skirt… and then her shoes.  Yeah.

Actually it’s the shoes.  I just thought… you know, you’ve done from the top of her head to her ankles in about a page, so then three pages just on the shoes… It just seems…

Yeah!  A bit much!  Exactly.  Just a little too long!  And then again, on their third date, when she comes back to his apartment.  When she takes off her shoes, the way you've written it, it’s erm… the reader’s attention might wander a bit after the first page or so, that’s all.

Oh – yes, and much later on, during the Raquel episode, where Julie’s furious with him and she goes running, really pushing herself hard?  And she gets back to her place and she’s run herself so hard that she’s sweated stains right through her trainers?  I mean, that is such a brilliant image!  Of her rage, you know, just expressing itself but then emerging in kind of a tawdry way.  But, you know, once the point’s been made, once the image is there, you could move on rather faster.  I mean, at the end of that section I felt like I knew every millimetre of her sweaty trainers!  Every stitch, every shade of every sweat stain... Like my face had been pressed right up against them for pages and pages… not a very pleasant image!  I mean, really.  Is it?


Moving on… anyway, there’s one more thing we have to talk about. Quite embarrassing!  Yeah – that’s right: I'm afraid it’s the sex scene! Sorry… just doing my job.  Look – don’t worry about it, OK?  I mean everybody finds it hard to write a really convincing sex scene. I just thought… the change of mood was really weird and I didn’t quite get why you did it.  I mean, it was so heavy and moody and then suddenly it’s more like farce as if you're playing it for laughs, and –

What do I mean?

Oh.  Well… take this bit. “Slowly drawing her hand back from his unbuckled belt, Julie gasped in silent awe as four inches of manhood rose to sway proudly in front of her.  ‘Be gentle’ she whispered, wanting the full experience of this behemoth, yet at the same time dreading – “ anyway, you get the point?  I mean why play it for laughs?

Isn’t it? Oh. I thought it was funny. 

Erm… no, I don’t think I know why.  I just thought it was, erm… funny.  Doesn’t matter.

Anyway!  Later, she’s … well, she’s getting…the full four inches, right, and she starts giggling a bit, then laughs out loud, just at the point when he… when he climaxes.  That’s fine, obviously.  But then later they’re talking in bed and they both say what a great orgasm they’ve had and – I didn’t really get that bit.  I mean, she didn’t have an orgasm, did she? She just laughed at him.

What do you mean, that was the orgasm?

Oh.  Oh, right.

So later, when Peter has a fling with Raquel and he unzips his pants and she just laughs straight off the moment she sees his… his full four inches, that’s – ?

Right.  OK.  I misunderstood that. On the first reading.


So!  You might just want to take those thoughts and just, you know… maybe a few short rewrites.  Actually, if you could get it from the 90,000 words it is now down to less than eighty that would be really good.  It’s a better size for the booksellers. Losing 10,000 words sounds like a lot, but actually I reckon you could get that just from trimming the bits about ladies’ shoes. Maybe more.

Brilliant!  So – what’s next?  Amanda told me that you mentioned you’re already working on a second novel. That’s really exciting!  Good for the marketing too, actually.  Got a title you can share with us?

“Sales incentives?”  Oooh!  What’s that about?  Yeah?  Life and loves of the owner of a high street shop, eh? Falling for one after another of his lady customers, I expect, if he’s anything like Peter!  Sounds great!

So what does he sell? What sort of shop is it?  Oh hang on – on second thoughts, don’t tell me.  Let me see if I can guess.