Friday, March 30, 2018

Violence is golden

Actually, I understand a day is like a whole beetle year.  So in beetle years, you've got, what... 6 minutes left, maybe longer?  And it's not like you'll be dying all in one go, anyway.

I don't have any secret embarassing thoughts about women. They're all laid out here, for all to see,

A little food goes a long way in the OWK.

Cherishing's very important.  She's going to insist on lots of that.

It's silly to be afraid of the sea, anyway.  You know, you can drown in just a few inches of water, right?  Especially with handcuffs on.  My SO told me that once and likes to remind me of it from time to time. 

Tuesday, March 27, 2018

They can beg and they can plead

...but they can't see the light.

Are you sitting uncomfortably?  Then she'll begin.

You're actually already halfway through the session. Might as well finish off.

Good.  Good.  I expect she'll be chucking away all those dusty old wine bottles in the cellar and filling up the racks with some nice fresh sparkling wine with cheerful labels, too.

If it's any consolation to him, after her friend has finished the face-slapping session tomorrow, he will look like a house elf.

As it happens, the second guy from the front is the Financial Director of one of the biggest German pension and insurance conglomerates.  He's wondering whether he should say something here - but by now he's probably got more sense.

Friday, March 23, 2018


When I first started dating my SO, I'd often finish before She had a chance to come, but now things are more under control She typically has oh... two, three...maybe even four hundred orgasms before that happens.

It's always embarassing when men have to go to what's basically a girls' night out, isn't it? You kind of stand around awkwardly, watching the wives roaring with laughter while you make polite converation about ironing tips and suchlike.  Women are just better at social events... it's because they've got more empathy.


Life will be a lot simpler.  You can do as she says or starve.

Big decision.  Don't pressure her, OK?

I'm down on my hands and knees.  Point me to the broken glass.

Tuesday, March 20, 2018

A fairy-tale romance

... with me as the frog.

She's trying to de-clutter.

Should last her until the spring, her favourite time of the year, when the first fresh green nettles start to arrive.

It's probably that damn dog.  The same one that keeps stealing her used underwear.

It's a service industry.

I guess she would.  Vigorously, immediately and without mercy.

Friday, March 16, 2018

Utopian dystopia

... or should that be the other way around?  More visions of a possible future, anyway, lots more here.

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

Sexual kneeling

Mmm... concussion play.

To be fair, she did promise Simon a blow-job.  So don't dawdle.

They did a guy last year who - purely by coincidence - actually developed tonsillitis two weeks later. It took forever to get him strapped down the second time, goodness only know what they poor thing thought they were planning to cut off on that occasion!

It likes looking at the pretty pictures and thinking naughty thoughts, though, doesn't it?

Well, all right then. But I hope Mike doesn't go talking about it at work on Monday, that's all.

Friday, March 9, 2018

Hard-core scorn

Anyway, she can't chat long.  She's just off to the pet shop.  Wants to buy a couple of dogs, apparently.

It'll be good when you're married and you can just just be yourself.

I'm gender non-binary.  Well.. gender fractional, anyway.  About 1/7, my SO reckons.


It's good to know a domme with a really creative imagination.

Tuesday, March 6, 2018

I'm gonna give you some terrible thrills

Like a...

Earth... it's like a drive-in burger bar for hungry space travellers.

My signalling organ is permanently set to 'silent mode'.

Not going to work - you need to use an internationally recognised safeword as established by the Geneva Convention.  In Esperanto.

I'm sure he'd like to apologise to her and to women in general, for the thoughtless behaviour that got him into his mess.  Trouble is, that mouth's not really built for speaking. Plus, everyone he's going to meet from now on is likely to be a man.

What do you mean, it's not science fiction?  This is your future.

Sunday, March 4, 2018

Safer space

OK, so Ken’s question actually gives me a good opportunity to show you how the new anti-sexist speech code will work in practice.  See, Ken’s worried that his free speech rights will be infringed by our new policies against sexist speech.  And he’s wrong about that, obviously, but it’s OK for him to express those concerns.

But what about the way he expressed those concerns, hmm?  Was he in breach of the policy?  Well, yes, he was. In several ways.  So how could he have expressed his concerns in a way that doesn't involve any kind of sexist behaviour, hmm? Anyone?

No David – women speak first - remember?  I know I said ‘anyone’ but you need to wait at least 30 seconds before attempting to speak to see if any of the women want to say something first, yeah?  We practiced that before.  So… Ken’s question.  What should have have done differently?

Phoebe?  That’s right!  He didn’t put his hand up, did he?  He just started speaking without female permission.  So that’s a violation right there.  Very good.

What about the opinion he expressed?  What did he do there that could have been better?

That’s right, Kate. He disagreed with me.  It's a very common male habit, isn't it? I guess all the women here could tell stories of men just straight-up disagreeing with them like that.  Exactly what the speech code is supposed to stop.  But it's so easy to avoid!  There are just so many ways Ken could have expressed his concerns, there, without disagreeing with something a woman just said.   

He could have thanked me and said how much he agreed with the policy of ending sexist speech, and could I explain a bit more clearly how this does not infringe his constitutional rights.  Or... he could have asked for more advice on how he should express himself, or he could have sought to discover some boundaries, hmmm?  Could have asked me what I would like the limits of his free speech to be, yeah?  Any of those would have been OK.

Anything else?

How did he address me?  Was it respectful?

Well… yes, Kate, he did say "Ma’am".  But he hesitated a bit, didn’t he?  And that sounded just a little disrespectful?  So… maybe OK, to be a bit slow with the "Ma'am" in some circumstances, sure.  As long as it's there.  But given the context: he spoke without permission, he also disagreed with me… his hesitation before calling me "Ma'am" was almost like a direct challenge to my authority, wasn't it? So, yeah, that’s another violation.  

So there's three distinct violations of the code, which is actualy enough to raise some red flags for action.  So I could just call up the app - any time up to three months from the date of the violation, so if you want time to think about it, that's OK - then I'd double-click on Ken and put the report into the system for disciplinary measures to be taken.

He wouldn't lose his job, of course, not for only three violations.  But he'd lose pay and he'd be placed on the watch list, to undergo some more direct training.  There's an external weekend that he'd find very effective.

Ken?  Oh -  putting your hand up, I see!  So much better.  But I don’t want to hear you just now. Does any other woman want to hear what Ken has to say? No? OK, so put it down again.  That’s right.

Now… we’re going to roleplay a typical office situation…  You're all a team discussing a new project, OK? You've each got envelopes describing your role and the team objectives.  You're going to need to plan the research and implentation phases, big marketing push to a female-oriented clientele, yeah? You're going to need tech skills, marketing savvy and a LOT of cups of coffee, OK? Let's see how you handle it - using the speech codes, the way we practiced.