Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way

You might want to pay particular attention to the inflight safeword briefing.

Damn.  Maybe we could play backgammon instead?

If it's any consolation, Jerry's no happier about it than you are,  In fact, he's bloody furious.  Try to make him happy, OK?

Hmm.  That's diamonds  eleven times in a row, now. That means hearts must come up next time, right?

I don't want you to get the impression that reading this blog in any way singles you out as a loser, OK? As long as no one ever, ever finds out, then there's nothing to be ashamed of.  Obviously, if they do, then there is but that just means you have to take care, right?

Lap of honour

She uses a system of rewards and penalties.  Some days, when you've done particularly well, you're rewarded by not being penalised.

I wasn't a service oriented submissive when I started out, but my SO sent me on an orientation course.

The other things are negotiable.  Just go ahead and negotiate - but you do have to be in position first, OK?

In any marriage, learning when to communicate - and when to stay silent - is as important as learning how.

I find these networking sites can really eat up my time.  I had fifteen ironing assignments on Slavr last week, for example - took me hours to get all that done - and then there were eight notifcations waiting for me on Spankr.  I thought all this technology was supposed to give us all more free time?

Subjugated

I think you might be about to experience a consciousness-lowering session.

I'm impressed she's still got the energy after a 10-hour flight. Stewardesses are amazing, don't you think?

At one point I lived near this really seedy red-light district near Spitalfields in London.  Quite early on, I explained to one of the streetwalkers that I disapproved of exchanging money for sex and she was kind enough to let me give her money and then just go away every week thereafter.  I wonder where she is now? The standing order still goes through to her bank account, so I guess she's still around.

Because of this, obviously.  Pervy lot, architects.

Many men find it a bit of a shock at first, being married.  Just try and keep it to no more than 8-10 jolts a day, at moderate settings, and you'll get used to it soon enough.

...and an extra one, for Paltego who enjoys photoshoots of dommes playing pool badly:

 

So a domme, her gimp and her money pig walk into a bar...

Yeah, I wanna report a  missing sub.

You know – submissive?  Like a slave?

Well of course consensual.  Actually he begged.

OK, so he went missing this morning.  We kind of left him in the forest and then we couldn’t find him, so – 

Yeah, sure we looked. Five minutes at least.  Maybe longer.

You need a description?  Right.

OK, so he’s about fifty years old, naked, shackled at hands and ankles, with his cock locked in a spiked tube.  Er… recently lost a lot of weight, so his skin kinda hangs off him in wrinkles, his back and ass are covered in whip marks, he has cigarette burns all over his thighs and his mouth is forced wide open with a serrated spreader gag, with a tongue clamp attached.  But he can make a few sounds, and he answers to the name of  - 

What?  Did you say ‘Lucky’?  Why would he answer to the name ‘Lucky’?

Well, why would you think I was going to say that? That's not his name.  I was gonna tell you his name.

An old joke?  Is it? Oh, OK.  I guess.  I don’t really get jokes, actually.  Never had much of a sense of humour.  Just ask anyone... especially my subs.  

Yeah, no problem.  Answers to the name of ‘Useless Fucktard’ anyway.

Sure.  OK, I’ll give you my number and let me know if you find him, OK?  No, I don’t want regular updates. If you find him, great, but if you don’t it’s no big deal.

OK, thanks.  Bye!

The photo that makes this otherwise pointless story, errr, pointful, is of course from American Mean Girls (they seem to have expanded out from Miami).  As I've said before, the 'bratty' teenage humiliatrix thing usually doesn't do it for me, but maybe that's because it's normally done very badly.  I think this site is really very good indeed and it definitely does do it for me, so I recommend a visit.

Domestic violence

I want readers of this blog to be quite clear: I am totally opposed to domestic violence.  Luckily for me, She isn't.

She's not a morning person.  Nor was he before he got married, come to think of it.

Jean and Roger are pretty cool, for a couple in their late 70s, huh?

Mnemonics very easily make juvenile subbies utterly nervous.

I suppose a tip is out of the question?

 The wonderful Lexi Sindel of course, who can be observed from a suitably safe distance at English Mansion and Femdom Empire, amongst other places.

Divorce can be a painful process.

Pay to obey

I do.

Just remember to tell yourself that he's just as humiliated by this as you are, OK?

Don't listen to them.  There's plenty of kinky three-way sex in your future - it's one of the most popular activities at the leather bar they're selling you to.

 

I could probably work with it, to be honest.

 

You know, I think sooner or later I have failed every single 'challenge' a domme's ever set for me in session.  I'm beginning to think they might be rigged.

 

It's good she isn't letting a little thing like that rock her confidence.  I'm sure her former client wouldn't have wanted that.

 

 

Happy Hathaday!

Thirty-four today and still stopping hearts!  Happy Hathaday to all the blog's regular readers.

I'm personally quite excited (well, as excited as the steel tube will let me) about Anne's new film, Colossal, in which she stomps all ovcer a South Korean city, causing mahem and destruction as she -

What's that you say?  The stomping is actually done by an insectoid CGI monster which might or might not be telepathically linked to Anne's character, or indeed might not be real?

Oh. That doesn't sound so much fun.  I wonder why they went with that.  When they could've...mmm.

Still, it's an Anne movie so you can bet I'll be saving up my pocket money for the next few weeks to be able to afford a cinema ticket. In the meantime, here are some Hathaptions... no, that's rubbish, erm, Anneotated Hatha.. erm... oh anyway, they're captioned images of The Divine and that's what this blog is all about.

 Three new ones:

 

 

And some of my favourites from the old ones you've seen before, so you don't have to go to the trouble of clicking 'Heart-stopping beauty' in the wordycloud there. Remarkably, this little collection represents considerably less than a third of the Anne captions I've done - but still manages to get very repetitive.  Amazing, huh?

 

 

...and my favouritest of all: