On the fourth day of Christmas

My Mistress gave to me
...four across the buttocks
...three across the knuckles
...two hours in the corner
...and an hour being spanked across her knee.

I expect they'll find something to amuse themselves with. I wonder if Amanda has any hobbies?

Their grades have been quiite poor, actually.  I think your professional integrity requires you to resist revising them for as long as possible.

Ironically, being married to her is a bit more expensive too.  Still, too late now.

Yes Ellen.

Wasn't it nice of her to ask him?  And isn't Anne Hathaway just the most...., just the... oh words fail me and I'm not even fit to be unworthy of her.  Sigh.  SIGH. 

She's making a list and checking it twice

Merry Christmas, boys and fully functional human beings!

Think of me this Christmas time.  I'll be there all snuggly wrapped up under the Christmas tree waiting to find out what I'll be getting this year.  Chestnuts roasting on the open fire....well, not again I hope.

Christmas comes but once a year, after all...and...oh, ah I'm sure I was going to come up with some femdom-related humour just there, but I can't remember it now.  A witty play on words I expect.  To much eggnog I suppose...or at least, she assured me it was eggnog.

Here y'are, one extra for the festive season.



She won't share them with Madame Sarka, you know.  Not after those two broke last Christmas.



I think she's showing him how much she cares, don't you?

You don't get to visit the in-laws and she stands you in the corner with your hands chained?  Is this supposed to be a punishment?  Honestly, I think the blog's going soft.

That's more like it.

You think it's hard for you - I have to write them really small!



She really wanted a necklace too.  Still, I expect she can keep on wearing that old one with the key on it for another year.

But I am a worm, and no man; a reproach of men, and despised of the people.

Nothing so pervy as the Bible, is there?


On we go, mustn't dawdle, only 2 more wanking days before Christmas.

We really need to fundamentally rethink our vision of society, to tackle climate change.  Having lots of beautiful dommes around wearing leather would be a really good start, IMWO*.

Later he discovered that he could tell the difference between wines, as long as they were first passed through Anna.  But by then, his career had moved on.

Don't worry.  If you didn't look, you have nothing to be terrified about.



Well that's a relief.  The rumour around the office was that the woman doing these evaluations was a real man-hater who took pleasure in humiliating male staff.



Times are hard, you need the money and she hates the taste of semen.  It's perfect.

*IMWO = In My Worthless Opinion.  I'm trying to start a meme, here.

Devotional intelligence

There are actually scientific tests of men's devotional intelligence scores.  You're given a set of 100 statements and asked for your opinion on each, which is then ignored.  It's very accurate.

Actually, I don't think the former owners left the key.  Might just have to leave it there.

Well, he's not writhing around on the floor in agony, so something's obviously wrong.

It wouldn't be so bad, but she just can't spell for toffee.  "Slutt" indeed - and all over your forehead too!

Women.  Getting all excited over an ordinary household appliance?  Remember when she got that new iron, and couldn't stop trying it out on the back of your hand?  Girls and their toys, eh?

That's a bit unfair. But then so was telling all your friends you were too small to satisfy her, and then making you hire her a male escort.  Sometimes life's not fair like that.  Hey - you're an impotent cuckold with a tiny cock.  But there's probably a good side to that, right?  Right?

Rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your wrath

Please.

She didn't rush to judgement, though.  She took her time.

Yet another of those Mars and Venus things, I reckon.  What do you suppose she's trying to tell you here?

Actually the greatest torture is trying to read the tiny print...

Actually that's not fair.  At least one of the girls in the office calls you "Bootlicking little perverted wanker.".  No idea why.

There are times in any marriage when an apology is called for.  Here's one.

What do you call a slave all wrapped up in brown paper?

Russell.


What do you call a trannie, with one ankle tied tightly up to 'her' genitals?


Eileen.


How many slaves does it take to - oh never mind.  In my heart, I know I'm funny.


On with the pictures...I've got pages and pages of great material.

Still, no harm done.

I'd forgive her.  Wouldn't you forgive her?

He's quite a big boy, but now he'll be able to try small penis humiliation!  For a while anyway.  Isn't that great?

I thought we'd try a change from the sexual themed pictures.  Just a pretty girl eating a banana.  Wholesome fun. 

And you can call her Ma'am.

Thou shalt not

Not without permission anyway.




And they all lived happily - oh no, hang on, no they didn't.



I think it's great when husband and wife can work together.  But don't expect her to help out with the housework - remember who's bringing home the big bucks in this relationship.  She earns more money, too.



A G5?  A G5 airplane?



You have to time it right.  Best to work up to it in stages, taking him a little further each time until that IQ's just down where you like it.

You need to learn to respect her rights.  Or just respect her.

Dealing with feelings of guilt

I'd like you to meet some ladies who are really good at that.

Don't worry, you'll show her.  Just go and get yourself a lawyer and - oh.  OK, so if you save your pocket money for about two years, maybe you can afford a really cheap lawyer, and then...

Maybe you choose tonight.  Then she can choose again tomorrow.

Let's just hope the little wife doesn't ever mention that you call her 'the bitch'.

Unconditional surrender.

Nice to see her soft and affectionate side, for a moment, before she really gets started on you.

Wow, it just kept getting bigger...and longer...

So...this started out as a caption.  But somehow it grew and grew.

Lines of responsibility



Unsatisfied with your performance, by the look of it



"I know you’ve been on management training courses before, Mr Halford, but I’m confident you’ll see a real difference to your performance after this one.  It’s a completely new management training technique.

Now I’ve written a sentence down here: “Every day, I must strive to do my very best at work, carrying out the instructions of my boss to the best of my ability, giving her no cause to complain of laziness, rudeness or disobedience on my part.”

Isn’t that a motivational sentence?  Imagine how you could succeed if you have that running through your head every minute of the day!

Now here’s what we do.  There’s a pile of paper on your desk, there.  Now I want you to take the pencil and write the number “one” then write out the sentence.

Shall I read it again for you?

“Every day, I must strive to do my very best at work, carrying out the instructions of my boss to the best of my ability, giving her no cause to complain of laziness, rudeness or disobedience on my part.”

Good.  Now write the number “two” and do it again.

OK.  Now do you see what we’re doing?  Yes, that’s right.  Now you’re going to keep going until you’ve reached number 200, OK?  And I want you to do it all in one go, so no getting up from the desk, no speaking at all.  If you make a mistake in writing out the line, I want you to draw a neat line through it and write it again.  If you have to make more than three crossings-out on any one page,  throw that page away and start it again.  Off you go.

No, I said no talking please, Mr Halford.  That’s quite important for the exercise to work.  When you’ve finished, or if your pencil breaks, I want you just to raise your hand and sit quietly.

Two hours later

Finished?  Excellent.  Well, you can get up and bring me your papers.

Now while I’m looking through it, we’re going to try an exercise in mental visualisation.  I want you to stand over there in the corner, facing the wall.  No, a little closer.  Your nose should be nearly touching.  That’s right.  Now put your hands on your head.  I want you to visualise the sentence in your mind, as you remain in that position until I tell you to stop.  See if you can see it floating in space on the blank wall in front of you.  If I leave the room, you should remain in that position.

An hour later

Right, Mr Halford.  I think we’re making excellent progress.  Come and stand over here.  You can keep your hands on your head.  Now I counted nine crossings-out in your written work, and I see you discarded one page, so I suppose that’s another four, making 13 errors in all.  And you also spoke when I’d instructed you to remain silent, so let’s call that another 10, making 23 in all.  I’m going to round that up to 24.

Now we come to the really innovative part of this training.  It’s a completely new approach to motivational training.  I am going to make you feel very sorry for each and every one of those 24 errors.  Can you guess how?

No, it’s not that.  Not even close.  Go to that drawer over there and bring me what’s inside it.  Yes, that.  Do you know what that is?  No, it’s nothing to do with cooking.  It’s a motivational instruction tool.  I’ll show you how it works…



Plenty of motivation here



Half an hour later still

Right, Mr Halford, I think we’re done here for the day.  You might want to tuck your shirt a bit more neatly back into your trousers before you go back to your office.  That’s better.

Did you find that motivational?  Yes, it is rather isn’t it? It’s simple, but amazingly effective.

But it only works if you keep it up.  Now the great thing about this technique is you don’t have to be an expert trainer to do it.   I’ve got a name here – Janine O’Brien? – oh, she’s your secretary?  Right.  Super.

No, no, she’s not going on a course like this Mr Halford!  This is only for senior managers.  No, Janine is booked on a motivational instructor training course this week.  So she’ll be able to deliver the weekly modules of your training programme.  Isn't that great?  It’s best to agree a single time – Thursday at 6pm or suchlike – and just stick to it.  She’ll be tracking your performance at work too.

Oh, don’t look so worried, I’m sure she’ll pick it up in no time.  She’ll be watching the video of today’s session, at the start of her course, so she’ll know exactly what to expect.  We usually find that secretaries love taking on these additional tasks, and really put everything they’ve got into it.  Anyway, she’ll send me weekly reports.



Janine.  Isn't she sweet?



Then you’ll come back here from time to time for a refresher course.  And there are quite a few other things we haven’t tried too."

Feeling her pain

Oh, you will.

He should be more sensitive.  Fortunately, parts of him are, so she can start working on those.

It can't be for clothes, because she buys them for you.  And you're not allowed alcohol or cigarettes.

She calls it "head-spanking".  Isn't that cute?

Of course, it's just possible they'll take a bit longer than an hour.  So - best to stop all that frantic banging and wriggling about.

Won't your wife be pleased when you get home and show her?

Influencing skills

These ladies have them.

Oooh!  Oooh!  I don't have a foot fetish either Ma'am!  Oh dear, Pleeeease don't make me lick your dirty feet clean Ma'am!

Still, he's lucky to be inside in weather like this.  Best half-hour of the day.

Hmmm.  How are we going to resolve this?

And don't think she's impressed when you buy the extra-large condoms, either.  She knows they're not for you.

You've made her very happy today.