Tonight, tonight...

 

Just the facts, Madame

 A few more of these... it's been a few years, I think. 

There's a two-legged animal running about

 ... but if it's kneeling down on one knee, I reckon things are probably OK.

It can be more complicated for them to find better quality 'playmates', as those are often reported as missing after a while.  Which isn't a problem - she's even had some minor celebrities who've disappeared into her playroom - but it's an added complication.

With a bit of luck, maybe Pookie will get bored of having monthly orgasms after a while and stop trying so hard.  Then it'll be your turn.  Just give it time.

Looks like you have an extra 45 minutes free!  Whatever will you do with it?  Ironing, dusting... the possibilities are almost endless (within the very limited range of things you're permitted to do, obviously).  Later on, it looks like there'll be quite a lot of chocolate stains to clean up, so best to get ahead on the regular chores.

She's enjoying it in a non-sexual way... and if you're as exhausted and sore as she implies, you're probably hating it in a non-sexual way too.  So that's very compatible.

She's quite tender-hearted, so she'll be upset when she comes back from her next trip to the forest but I expect Vanya 2 can cheer her up.

A quick succession of busy nothings

More captioned images of ladies occasionally displaying daring glimpses of ankle, or elegantly-shaped necks.  Yes, it's more hot chicks in empire-line dresses.  Just the sort of porn you come to the Internet looking for, right?  Right?

It's what you're getting today, anyway.  Lovelies in lingerie, leather and latex will reappear in future posts, don't worry.  Well... these ladies are presumably wearing lingerie too.  Some kind of unmentionables, anyway.  You just don't get to see them.

Unrelenting love

Don't worry: what it lacks in teasing, it makes up in denial.

 

My gender doesn't so much sit on a spectrum as cower timidly beneath one.

 

 

He's a bit dim too, to be honest.  Well... thick as two short planks, to be quite brutal about it.  But she doesn't seem to mind that, oddly.

I think she might have had an idea.

Many women just hate it when important discussions are side-tracked by irrelevant opinions.  My SO has very low tolerance for that sort of thing, which is unfortunate as all my opinions are irrelevant.

Oppressive domesticity

...it's the best sort.

Some wives can be so possessive... probably best to humour her.  Maybe she'll get it out of her system some day.

Looks like she needs to make a choice.  You're her husband, that should count for something, surely?

Wouldn't want it to be too easy.

After a busy day's housework I once asked my SO what she'd do without me - I mean, I can't imagine her doing the ironing or the washing up!  "Get another one, just like last time", apparently.

Well, I'm glad she had a proper massage.  My own masseur seemed to have entirely the wrong idea about what I was after - left me feeling quite stiff and sore, to be honest.

A good hard marriage

... that's what most men need.

She's getting mixed signals here.  Fortunately, the ones she's giving are entirely consistent.

Thank goodness for that.

My own SO avoids this problem by only fucking guys who despise me.  Fortunately, that doesn't restrict her freedom of action at all.

Honestly, given the choice between fucking her and fucking you, it's hard to see how anyone could prefer not to play it straight.  But some guys have weird sexual preferences.  I've heard.

Actually, I have a funny story about a pair of masturbation gloves and some nettles.  Well... it was funny at the time, anyway.  For her.

Blowing my mind, stealing my heart

 Somebody help me 'fore I fall apart.

Don't worry, it's perfectly normal to feel a little nervous.

Remarkably, I understand she got 100% in all her exams without even turning up.  And now works in a profession where she earns more than £500/hour working from home.  It just shows the value of adopting the right educational techniques.

Don't get her wrong - she'd be perfectly happy to lace or unlace her own boots.  But when there are men queuing up to pay for the privilege, why would she?

"...his eyes widened as she slowly, deliberately trailed her fingers all the way up his long... hard knitting needle, her fingertip lingering for a second at the top.  "It's a number 7" he blurted out awkwardly, feeling the need to respond in some way to this sudden intimate contact.  "At least" she murmured in reply, nodding gently, thoughtfully.  Then she made a decision and looked straight into his startled eyes.  "I want you to make me something stylish but practical", she breathed with an urgency that surprised even her.  "I want you to make it now!".  She glanced into his knitting bag, where the multicoloured balls of wool nestled quietly, expectantly.  A hint of a smile tugged at the corners of her lips, as she..."

The 'arrogant dismissive domme' thing comes naturally to some.

Yes, Madam Minister

 

 

In the so-called 'real world' the new female PM of the United Kingdom is having a difficult start, having accidentally killed off a beloved monarch in her first week and then hurtling downhill from there. In a better-run parallel world, however, a newly-elected counterpart is getting on with some much-needed legislative reforms.  The email below reached me through a trans-dimensionoodly doohickey gizmo, so I thought I'd pass it on to you.

 

 

Domestic docility

I don't worry about that.  What I'd like to know is whether I'm in a pre-orgasmic state or not.  As time passes, I worry I might not be.

 

 

In case you're feeling anxious: she's perfectly genuine in her disapproval of the methods employed by the Male Control Squad to deal with rebellious males.  She and her friends have much better methods.

 

 

Oh well, there's always next month as my SO likes to say.

 

 

I have two speeds: dawdling and scurrying.  I'd scurry for her.  Wouldn't you?

 

Funny thought: if I did have a cuckolding fetish, I might be about to enjoy this even more than he does.  Hee...hmmm.  Anyway, I'll get that beer.

 

 

As an extra, I'd just like to link once again to the site of the influential Mr Rogue-Hagen, who has been brightening our lives for decades with some very British femdom: Cruella.  For a while now, his site has been giving away  large photoshoot sets, some modern and some from the archives.  No disrespect to the photographer or the ladies but I do prefer the older ones, even if the technical quality is lower.  I doubt it's a real reduction in  the inherent quality, but you see these were the images I saw in the early 1990s when I first started buying porn.  And it was before the Internet (except as a forum for discussing particle physics on bulletin boards) so there were few images around.  And each one of these seared itself into my brain... I recall being so excited that I literally found it hard to breathe when opening up one of his magazines.

Anyway, it so happens that his latest upload is one of my all-time favourites from that period - 'Guardess Julia' (whom I believe to be a lady called Linda Leigh).  So I encourage you all to go and have a look (well-managed boys will want to stop about halfway down the page, when she gets her top off, but there's plenty of pictures before that which are thoroughly suitable).  I encourage you even more strongly to try some of the things on his site that are not free, so as to give a little back and reward him for his wonderful work over all of these years.  A femdom legend.

 

Everything she wants, any way she likes, right now

She was beside herself with worry, the poor thing. Nothing to worry about now... for her to worry about, I mean.

 

It might add to it, if anything.  But it's nice when it finishes - or when the weals heal, a week or so later, depending on the severity.

In the event, she realised of course that she didn't actually want a slave with a bashed in face and a pulped, deformed nose, snuffling around the whole time.  So both of them ended up having to leave.  Funny how some people just don't think things through, isn't it?  Still, no real harm done and I guess she learned something.

Oh dear, that wasn't a very tactful thing to say.  She's not an unkind person, you understand; it's just never occurred to her not to despise you.

If Kitten can't have nice things, why should you have nice things?

 

 

 

For those of you who might have sleepless nights worrying about Kitten not being as happy as she deserves to be, all the time, I am delighted to share the following picture:

 

Isn't that lovely?  Doesn't it make the world a better place?  You can think of it every time you pay off the monthly installments of the loan - ten years, wasn't it?  Lots of time to think of Kitten's happy smile.  And she decided to keep the black one, too, for when she's just not in a red car mood.

Now... Kitten has some ideas for other things she'd like to have.  Get a notebook: you can make a list.

*** UPDATED***

Kitten saw this and would just like you to know that she has always liked yellow best of all the colours.  

 

 

Come on now, don't be mean...

 

Life (of a sort) imitating no sort of art

 Not a proper post today, but continuing in the same theme of actual things that actually happened to the actual me...

So... I had a wonderful session last week with my wonderful beautiful smart creative and witty regular domme.  And one of the wonderful things this wonderful person decided to do was have me kneel before her while she read a poem and occasionally she'd stop and I had to guess the rhyming word and if I didn't get it right she slapped my face.

And that's a lot of fun if you're me.  And the poem she chose was The Raven by Poe.

And I was just thinking as I knelt there, looking happily into her smiling face, that this is quite a strange thing for a sex worker (that is a term she uses and is proud of) to do.  I mean, some sex workers presumably have actual sex, although that's not an activity I've ever tried in session. We all have our limits, after all.  Sitting there, fully clothed, reading poetry and occasionally slapping someone is an odd thing for a sex worker to do.  If you think about it and I was thinking about it, while also frequently trying to guess a rhyme and being slapped when necessary.

 

 

And then she got to the line "And is there balm in Gilead" and I suddenly had a profound moment of deja vue (and a good hard slap) as I remembered this:

...which I had previously posted in my almost universally unpopular series of 'Rule 18' posts, in which I put up pictures (usually uncaptioned) of lovely ladies dressed or behaving weirdly, and one is supposed to imagine the poor things gamely trying hard to fulfill some usually unseen client's ludicrously over-complicated sexual fantasy. 

 I particularly liked the one above... even though I had to caption it.  It's the expression of vague embarrassment on the blonde lady's face and the way her colleague declaiming is making such an effort to get it right.  (My wonderful domme did it effortlessly of course).

The original 'Advice to a novice domme' post defining a 'Rule 18' violation is below:

 

That's all for today.  Abnormal service as usual from now on.

Oh all right then, you've read this far, you can have one new captioned image.  Advice to a novice domme, obviously.  Which (for the avoidance of doubt) my own wonderful, clever, elegant, creative and perfect domme does not need.