Really specific fetishes

Regular 'readers' will know that, although rules are important to me (I've experienced too much pain in my relationships not to understand the importance that rules can play) I am not one for laying them down.  However, Rule 18 is an exception, as presumably are at least another 17 rules, but we don't talk about those.*

Rule 18, of course, is more in the nature of a guideline as it is offered humbly as advice to a novice domme and it states "Try to avoid sessions with clients who have really specific fetishes and can't get off unless it is done exactly right." 

There are so many violations of Rule 18 out there it is hard to know where to start, but here are a few more that have caught my eye.

 

Only the smallest of dommes can even hope to pull this one off.

 

 

 

Apparently there have to be three of them and they have to be from similar ethnic backgrounds or 'it's just not the same'.  Remember the bit about 'unless it's done exactly right?'  That's why we have Rule 18.

And this is just terrifying.  There are some very sick people out there, if you ask me.

They don't even get to swap roles.  The blonde lady once suggested that she could take a turn holding the feather and declaiming and their client just looked at her as if she was mad - why would that be erotic?  'Exactly right', remember?  And yes: the plastic kangaroo is part of it too, thank you for asking.

This just looks like good wholesome fun... not sure what kind of fun, but yeah, whatever.  Note the decorative use of plastic beads.

I thought of a few questions to ask about this one, but I tend to aggravate 'readers' when this blog strays into politics (apart from the female supremacist kind, of course, but that's less a political statement than a simple acknowledgement of reality) so I'm just not going there...

 

OK, I'll admit that's rather erotic.

 

 

 

* Except Rule 3, which states "You are not expected to have sex with your clients.  Thank goodness."  I am preparing a blog post featuring Rule 3 illustrations: i.e. photos with mean-spirited commentary mocking male submissives looking particularly unattractive: grossly overweight or pathetically skinny (fairness does not feature much in Rule 3), gormless or otherwise repulsive, in the finest hypocritical traditions of this nasty little blog and its unpleasant author.  If you've ever been photographed in loving adoration of your mistress, you might even feature in it, mightn't you?  Worth checking out, anyway.

 

Graceful brutality

 

 

Funny how many girls make that mistake.

 

 

Sounds like they've got some lost time to make up for.

 

 

I remember early in our relationship, my SO ordering me to bring her a whip for my impertinence.  I told her I didn't think I had said anything impertinent that deserved a whipping and she laughed and said I just had.  It seemed a little unfair to me, but I didn't want to argue about it and ruin the mood.

 

 

 

I'm afraid it won't make you taller, though: that's just one of those myths. I mean, maybe your spine will be longer by an inch or so at most, but since you won't be able to walk with all the joints in your limbs dislocated, it won't bring you any real benefits.  

 

Like many Hollywood stars, she keeps her private relationships carefully out of the media's eye.

 

Night terrors

 

They don't.  I can vouch for that personally (but you cannot check for yourself, alas, because the lovely Lady Sophia Black appears to have retired).

Yes, that would be instructive.  Plus, they'll need someone to clean up all the mess when they've finished with him.

 

 

Thank goodness for the wise motherly advice. There's a reason her parents stayed together all their lives, you know.

 

 

 

She's particularly good at the "laughing and joking to show it's all consensual" bit at the start.  She practices for hours to make it sound convincing.  And she has very high standards, so make sure you learn your lines perfectly.

 This is the sweet and playful Madame Sarka, who appears not to be retired, so any readers looking for a gentle introduction to the world of female-led roleplay might want to try looking her up.  Be polite.  Very polite.

 

 

Easier said than done, alas, so I'm just going to keep masturbating to pictures of sexy actresses and singers, if that's OK, Billie.

Agonising and ecstasising

Silly headline, sweet little song,* content is essentially unrelated.

It only gets sadder from here on in, Ma'am.  You don't mind if I call you Ma'am, I hope?  Ma'am.

She can wait.  Hours, days, weeks.  Whatever it takes.  And you're not going anywhere, obviously.

Maybe I'm just trying to demonstrate that I'm not one of those guys who just thinks about his penis the whole time, you know?

It's cheaper than domme session rates, but only slightly - and much more intense.

Don't ask her about the bad experience.  She's been able to move on.

* But not as sweet as the one from Butterflies.

Indignity

Ah... furniture privileges.  I remember the first time my SO told me I wasn't allowed on the furniture any more and I cheekily asked if that included the whipping bench. How we laughed... or we would have done if I'd dared say it out loud.

Elbow-length latex gloves should come with a safety warning, in my view.  And latex gloves that cover the full length of the arm are just unsafe, no matter what the 'experts' might tell us about the length of the lower intestine.

See all the little gold rings on their toes?  Aren't they pretty?  They've got lots more gold rings, for you to wear, so maybe you'll look just as pretty too.  But they're not going on your toes, obviously.

If it'll help, the soaking wet towel she is planning to ram down your throat will taste quite soapy.

You might think that spousal abuse is neither funny nor sexy.  My wife disagrees, though: she loves it, so who am I to argue?

Uncivil partnerships

 

 

It's a mere technicality.

 

 

 

A lot of men who are initially reluctant to wear shock collars end up thanking their wives for it, I understand, so there's really no reason not to give it a go.

 

 

 

There's nothing worse than calling your domme by the wrong name, is there?  Well... Obviously, there is something worse, which is what happens next when you do - but I'm sure you know what I mean.

More and more women carry tasers to ward off unwanted sexual advances.  Even a few years back, when I was dating, I'd estimate maybe 40% of them did.

 

Thank goodness.  Finally a chance to put my side of the story!

Sexually irresponsible

 I used to be sexually irresponsible, but someone has kindly taken responsibility now, so that's all right.

Male chess players need to learn that being beaten at the game by a female player isn't humiliating.  Believe me, there are much more humiliating ways of being beaten by a female, if you only seek them out.

I've never understood why dominant ladies so often like to promise me more to cry about.  I don't find it the least bit reassuring.

So much to look forward to.

She shouldn't let him exploit her like that.

She seems quite forceful. It's probably just as well for Gerald that he's only marrying one of her.*

*NB, although this blog generally does not seek to provide advice on safe, sane and consensual BDSM, readers might want to consider the advisability of a romantic relationship with any woman who refers to them as 'human male'.

Good authority

Actually, she found him quite easily.  She's clever like that.

 

 

 

Hmmm... well, I suppose it makes a change from having to deal with uncomfortably large things.

 

 

 

I think your educational prospects just became a lot brighter.  No one forgets a really committed teacher.

They have separate resuscitation practice sessions, but they do that inside with the volunteer strapped to a table.  One of the girls is ex-military and has done some waterboarding, so it's all very safe.

Remember: professional submission is not prostitution.  He should consider himself more as a therapist, helping clients deal with feelings of anger.

Hers to keep

 

 

And of course there's no rule that says you can't use any twice.  Or even more often than that.

 

 

 

I expect Sasha will get the hang of it.  One excuse for a beating's almost as good as another; it's silly to get hung up on narrative consistency.  I never do - as readers of my stories will attest.

 

 

 

He's probably thinking he's not really up to moving like greased lightening, at his age.  But that's the thing about femdom - you can always surprise yourself.

 

 

 

Subbie hear, subbie do.

Many submissive men get quite hung up on how wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, co-workers and so on will react to their fetish.  But the truth is, many of them just don't care at all and haven't the least interest in us.   I find it quite humiliating.... yum.