Lap dogs to a slip of a girl

It's funny: in a few weeks he'll probably be complaining it's too hot, staked out there on a lovely summer day with the honey and sweat running off his skin and the ants tickling his face.

I tried a self-help book once.  Apparently my feelings of inadequacy aren't real.  Oh right - so what have I been paying all that tribute for, over the years, then?  Silly book.

Good thing she decided not to wash her hair, as she hates saying no to people.

A survey of the male employees found 82% of them consider the new dress code unbearably humiliating.  Management are working hard to think of something they can do to respond: 18% of males not feeling constantly mortified is simply unacceptable in a truly inclusive workplace.

Just don't leave your used jodhpurs lying around.

Speaking with authority

Once when I was in hospital I tried out the 'just a little prick with a needle' joke* on one of the nurses. But she just looked confused and said "But I'm the one with the needle." I did feel a fool.

BDSM's odd like that. Subs are actually much more interested in exactly how the implement feels than the dommes.  My SO seems to grab any old thing at random sometimes when she wants to hit me - I actually feel that shows a lack of respect, which is lovely, obviously.

Starting with this.

Makes it all worthwhile.

It's rather an exciting art form, not least because it needs weekly refreshing.

* "I know you are, but what are you going to do with it?".

Corrigible

And if you don't think so... well, that just proves her point, doesn't it?

Time for some firmer measures here too.

I have no idea what that means.  I don't even speak Swiss - or Austrian or whatever.

I paid a prostitute for a 'girlfriend experience' once.  She took out an injunction and banned me from being within half a mile of her.  I am allowed to visit her flat once a month to make the payments, though.

Yes.  Yes it is.