Derogatory remarks

Did everyone get what they  wanted for Christmas? I hope so. I didn't, not really. But apparently I got what I needed and what I deserved, which I'm given to understand is actually better for me. So that's nice.

I wonder what she's talking about. The usual  explanatory notes didn't come with this one, I'm afraid.

I remember - very soon after I started seeing the lady who became my SO - very nervously broaching the subject of whether she might be prepared to try incorporating a little light spanking play into our bedroom routines. But she wasn't really up for it. She said she preferred to stick with the bullwhip, shock baton and testicle clamps so I just pretended I'd been joking and I dropped the whole subject. I've often wondered how my life might have been different, had she said she'd try it... but it's no use wishing for what might have been, is it?

Well... sex is important in her work, just as crime is important in a policewoman's.

It's going better than she'd dared to hope and she hasn't even reached the gravel yet.

Oh dear... she's not exactly trying to make you feel special, is she? But then, you're not.

Stocking fillers

Always such a rush... I mean, you wait all year for Christmas, then...

 

 

Many submissive men are rather bad at shorthand, which is a shame as most dominant ladiies really enjoy dictating.

 

 

I once jokily asked a domme if she did 'big penis humiliation' - and rather to my surprise she said she did, although as it turned out most of the actual work in-session was done by her friend Marcus.

 

 

No, no... don't make me sniff that stinky stocking, Brer Mistress!

 

 

 

If you're crying more often than you're coming you've reached next-level sub status. Either that or you're much too young to be reading this blog.

Divine Order

I worship her divine shadow.
 

I've had a few bruising relationships myself, but I usually have to pay for them.

Unless she forgets, obviously.

It's obviously preying on her mind, the poor thing.

I pay a sex worker to have vanilla intercourse, once a month.  She usually sends me a picture of the lucky guy.

She'll get round to yours.  You just need to wait very patiently.  Try shifting your weight from side to side a bit if your knees are starting to hurt.

Our youngers and betters

I suppose it never hurts to go through things again, just to make sure.  Well... I don't mean it never actually hurts - obviously it does hurt - I just mean.... oh , you know.

The longer it goes on, the longer his pleasureable anticipation, I suppose.

I wonder what she has planned for the evening.  For you, that is.

Aww... is there a little furry... hairy, leggy, fangy.. friend in there with you? Or several.

You, by contrast, can easily go quite badly wrong.  But you'll know when you do.

Cos everybody knows

she's a fememe fatale...  Herrin Nico, of course.  

What - I have to find my own stick?  Do I have to do everything around here?

It's amazing how many there are.

That sounds very fair.

It would.

It makes no fucking sense at all, but we keep going back.  Don't we?

Lip service

There are lots of things submissives know about that 'ordinary people' don't.  It's an odd thought, but most people have never been peed on, for instance (by an adult, anyway). 

Oh, well if David wants me serving canapes then of course we'd better go!  Sigh.  David this, David that... honestly, one day I'm really going to have to set some boundaries in this relationship. But not today. What do you think? I favour the one on the left...

She said stare at the ground, moron.

Erm... yeah, the ironing.  About that...

Brain damage play can be a lot of fun, but you need to make sure you pick short and simple words to use as safewords.

Financial liabilities

Oh hi, Mr Travers. Do come in.  This is Emilie Haskins – one of my colleagues who works in fixed-income products.

Thanks for dropping by.  Look: I've been thinking about our last consultation.  I’d like to apologise for…maybe over-reacting to some of the little jokes you made.  As you said: you’re from an older generation and I expect ‘in your day’ it was perfectly normal to compliment a woman on her legs.  Not your fault if you're a 'leg man' is it?  As you said.  And as you also so rightly said, it was partly my own fault for wearing quite such a short skirt. 

Just so as long as you remember that I’m your independent financial advisor, not a ‘lovely bit of skirt’ as you so… amusingly described me, I don’t see why we shouldn’t continue to have a business relationship.

All right then, Mr Travers, if you want to put it that way!  As well as a lovely bit of skirt.  Goodness, the jokes never stop with you, do they?  Such fun.  Anyway: to be a bit more serious, we’ve identified a customised financial product that we think is just right for you!  Haven't we, Em?  

If you'd like to come and sit down - I'm afraid there's only one chair, but Emilie here can perch on the desk.  As long as you don't mind her looming over you like that?   No?  Didn't think you would. Right then.

Now: this financial product.  It does take some active management, so you’d need to come and see me and Emilie about it… ooh at least once a month.  Or we could even visit you at home, if that's easier for you?  Would that be OK? Great.

Do you want to hear more about it…? I’ve got a 37 page brochure here, just erm... excuse me Em, would you mind shifting your legs?  Yes: here it is.  So, you could take it away if you like and...?  No?  You OK with just going ahead and signing?

Mr Travers?  Goodness, you were miles away there!  I was saying: shall we just sign?  Great. 

Right: sign there.  And there.  Sorry, I'll make some space here on the desk next to Emily's legs so you can sign.  Just there. No: there, Mr Travers.  You won’t sign in the right place unless you look at it, will you? That’s it.  This one’s for the bank: initial every page and sign at the bottom. Super.  That’s right, just leave the bit saying ‘Beneficiary’ blank: we’ll fill that in.   

And there’s another… oh, Emilie’s sitting on it!  Mind out Em!  There we are – if you could just…?

Yes, I suppose you had better sign it while it’s still warm! I warned you he was a joker, didn't I, Em?  Goodness, Em... you look like you're about to burst with laughter right now - but you have to keep that under control, OK?  Like we discussed.  Until the business is all settled.

Don't mind her, Mr Travers. She's just got a very lively sense of humour - just like you!    Anyway: you sign there, look: below where it says ‘Waiver’.  And again, under where it says: ‘Power of attorney’.  Brilliant. 

Great.  Well… I think we’re done.  Unless you have any more savings you haven’t told me about?  Right then.  Well, I think you’re all set for the financial future you most certainly deserve, Mr Travers. 

Oh - that's Em bursting out in giggles again! You've certainly put her in a good mood, Mr Travers!   And I've enjoyed our chat too: it'll be an absolute pleasure to take care of all your money.

We’ll call you in a few days, to explain a thing or two, once all the funds have been transferred, OK?

Bye now!